Weddingbee Blog

Mrs. Bee here.

There was an article in the New York Times yesterday titled, Couples Questions Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying. But the most interesting part was the comments that readers left in response and with their suggestions for important questions to ask.

This is the NY Times list:

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Do each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

Mr. Bee and I discussed all of the topics on this list and agreed on the big things like money and children before getting married. But since getting married, I must admit that the seemingly little things like chores and whether or not you have a tv in the bedroom do matter.

Have you discussed these questions with your SO and have any posed an issue? What would you add to this list?