Wedding Blog
One thing that has been on my mind lately is how to split the all-important MOH role between my Maid of Honor and my Matron of Honor. Here’s a little background… My Matron is one of my closest girlfriends from college and we’ve always said that we would be each other’s MOH. So of course, 2 years ago when she got married, I was MOH, and now it’s finally my turn!
My MAID is my 16 year old sister. I used to always think that she would still be too young to be MOH when it came time for my wedding, but we’ve managed to become super close and I love her more than anyone (well, her and Mr. E, of course!). So, I’ve decided that I will split the role of MOH, since my friend is married and can’t technically be a “Maid” anyways, hehe.
I think this is how I’m going to play fair - for the ceremony, I can’t imagine anyone else besides my sister standing next to me. That means for the processional, she will walk in last right before the ring bearer and flower girl, and will stand closest to me. Then for the recessional, she will be escorted by the Best Man (there’s only one).
Then for the reception my sister will switch with my friend, and my Matron will be introduced last and walk in with the Best Man. Matron will also make the toast (I don’t think my sister is comfortable with public speaking anyways, so this should work out!). In terms of seating, I think I’m in the clear cuz we’re most likely going to have a Sweetheart table and the bridal party will sit with their guests at “VIP” tables. It will be interesting for our Best Man, since he will have 2 partners for the evening!
Does this sound like a good/reasonable plan? If you were my Maid/Matron, would you be miffed in any way?
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I’m in a similar situation, although it is two very close friends and luckily one is married so I was able to divvy up the titles like you did (heehee).
I think your solution sounds very fair and considerate of each of their feelings. I’m sure you’re planning on talkign to each of them beforehand, but I would definitely suggest that you re-iterate how important it is to you to have each of them in their respective places of honor on your wedding day.
Great solution Miss Emerald!
The only suggestion I have is to offer your sister a chance to say something if she wants to. It’s always nice to hear what sisters have to say during a toast, even if brief. Otherwise, great plan! I was also one of two MOH and we pretty much did everything together. The groom has two best men though, so it worked out this way too. The other MOH was the bride’s younger sister, so as her best friend, there was no way I’d have felt miffed because of where she placed her sister in the program. 
I was simply a bridesmaid (honory maid of honor) because my MOH also had to have her 16 yr old sister as her technical MOH. The bridesmaids and I did EVERYTHING. Her sister was pretty much busy at school, with her boyfriend, etc and wasn’t “that’ interested as we were who knew exactly what to do for a wedding. We coached her sister and supported her in writing her speech. I wouldn’t be miffed. I only wish I too had the title of MOH because another bm and I did host and do alot. I think if you are honest and talk to them both, then there won’t be a problem or hurt feelings. Let them volunteer for stuff. My MOH wasn’t very upfront about it at first and it was a little awkward.
The only problem we had with the 16 year old was that she HAD to be excluded in the Bachelorette Party because no matter what we did, she wasn’t old enough to do or get in anywhere. We did winde up having a Fantasia party at one of the bm’s homes BUT again, you had to be 18 to present at such a party by law with the “items” eh hem. lol
Btw, a speech from her sister was more touching than I could’ve come up with as a friend even though we were friends since 5th grade. Even if your sister can’t “do” as much as your friend, a speech from her would be really touching and make her feel really important.
I had 2 MOHs, my best friend and my sister. They didn’t mind at all. We didn’t pair up our wedding party since I had 3 women on my side and my huband only had his BM. My sister stood next to me during the ceremony, and my best friend signed our ketubah while my sister signed our marriage license. Both of the MOHs and the BM gave speeches. Basically, you can do whatever you want. I agree with the others though that you should at least ask your sister if she wants to say a few words, you never know and 1 extra speech won’t make any difference.
Thanks for the feedback ladies… I definitely plan to talk to both of them!! =) I hope my sister says a few words, but will understand if she has stage fright!
Miss Emerald-
I had the same situation and it worked out beautifully. I have one younger sister who is 24. We are not super close and she is NOT into the whole girly wedding thing but we get along perfectly and I knew I had to have her as my MOH but…my very best friend was technically my MOH. We have been best friends for 17 years and my wedding would not have been complete without her. She came all the way from her home in France to be there for me!
Both were listed in the program as maids of honor even though my friend is married-she insisted on no “matron”!!!
My sister and best friend get along really well so they worked together through the whole process.
Walking down the aisle, I had my flower girl first, then my friend and finally my sister. We only had a best man on my husband’s side so it really didn’t look funny. When they got to the altar, my friend stood next to me and my sister stood next to her. As for the reception, neither of them were comfortable with public speaking so I had another friend who was one of my honorary bridesmaids do the toast. My other two honorary bridesmaids did readings in the ceremony.
At first I was concerned with how it would look and that it would be uneven but when I saw the pictures it didn’t even matter-everything was beautiful.
Good luck!
If I can figure out how to post a photo with my new camera, I will send a pic for you to see!
um, HI. jenny was looking at this website since she’s gettin married and one of her friends is on it (miss plumeria) and she was like, hey, i think miss emerald is your friend from taf, and then i was like, no f-ing way.
WHOA. you guys are cute. =)
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Mrs. Emerald, Chicago
Age and Occupation: 26, Wedding Planner
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Paralegal
Engagement Date: October 8, 2006
Wedding Date: September 2007
Blogging Since: November 29, 2006
Venue: Hyatt Lodge, Oak Brook IL
About Me: I have been dreaming about my wedding forever, and flipping through bridal magazines since high school, so I am in my element! I am calling our theme "Vintage Inspired French/Asian Fusion." Mr. Emerald is very involved in the planning process, but of course he generally defers to me cuz I have a strong opinion of how I want everything to be :-).
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