- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee Blog
Talking to Miss Bluebell this morning, I realized that despite her being younger, she has been with Mr. Bluebell a full year longer than Mr. Kiwi and I. This isn’t wrong or weird or anything, but I was interested by it when she said I beat her to the engagement date. 
We’re lame like that.
Anyway, I realized that Mr. Kiwi and I have been together 3 years, and we were engaged two and a half years in, so it wasn’t really a long wait (even if it seemed like centuries to me). Many people say there is a direct correlation between how long you’ve been together before getting engaged and how well your marriage does. I’m not sure I believe in things like that - my parents never married (I’m a baaaastard!) and split up after thirty years. Then again, Mr. Kiwi has an uncle who married his 16 year old girlfriend (he was 17, and no, she wasn’t pregnant) months after meeting her, and are still married about 40 years later.
Do you think the length of dating and/or engagement makes a difference? How long were you dating before engagement? If you’re not engaged yet, when are you thinking it will happen?
I personally don’t think so. If that person is the right person for you, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with that person, because in your heart you just know. I met my H in Dec 2004, started going in April of 2005, engaged in July 3rd and married 5/28/06.
Hehe, but I still beat you age-wise!!!
As for whether it makes any difference, I think it’s sooo dependent on age and social circle. Mr. Bluebell & I started dating in college and didn’t know anyone our age who was engaged or married, then one friend who’d been with her bf 8 years (since hs!) got married and started the ball rolling. So even though 3 years to engagement might sound pretty long, we didn’t feel it because we just weren’t at a place in our lives when a lot of people were getting engaged/married so there didn’t seem to be that pressure. However, in the year before and after we got engaged, we’ve known about 10 other couples who have too! So we’re reaching that phase of life. If we had started dating now, I know I would be a lot more marriage-minded a lot sooner just because it would be AROUND so much more. It’s not like it took us three years to figure out that we were in it for good, we just didn’t feel like we had to get engaged “NOW” yet. If that makes any sense. 
I really don’t think that the longer you wait to get engaged, the longer your marriage will be.
Andrew & I decided that we wanted to get married, a mere 2 or 3 months after we started dating. We’re waiting until we’re out of school, since we’re paying for it on our own, but he said the “official” engagement will happen within the next year.
By the time we’re thinking of getting married (2010!), we’ll have been together nearly 6 years.
We’re still young (20 & 22), so there’s no rush.
Oh, and due to the fact that we’re young, no one’s pressuring us to get married! lol. We’ve been dating since Christmas Eve of 2004.
Kind of like what Miss Bluebell said about people not getting married…none of my friends are engaged (yet! soon, though!), and only 1 is even in a serious relationship. That’ll be changing here in the next couple of years, though, I’m sure.
I was with my FI 2 1/2 years before we got engaged, when we marry it’ll be 4 1/2 years. I agree with the opinion given earlier, it depends on the people and the state of mind that you two are in when you decide you want to take the marriage step.
We were dating about 3 1/2 years before we got engaged. Even though we knew that each other was the one early on, we just weren’t in the right places in our lives to get married.
I don’t think there’s a correlation. One of my profs dated his wife for a week before getting married, and they have been married for 20 years!
IMHO, there’s no right amount of time to date before getting married, there’s just right for the two of you.
Fiance & I met in 8th grade. Have known each other 22 years. Engaged 4+ years and getting married around Valentines Day!
I don’t think age or length of relationship, engagement correlate to your success in marriage. My fiance and I were dating for 2.5 years before being engaged and will be married after 3.5 years together. It really depends on the individuals in the relationship and their relationship with each other.
In a perfect world, I’d like to think that there is no correlation but I believe that there is, to a point. I’d like to believe that as long as you love each other, it will work but when you get married, you’re basically meshing your life with someone else’s. I think that couples just need to give themselves time to get to know each other. Now, that time frame could be different for everyone. It could be weeks, months, years…so this is there it depends. It also depends on how flexible you are as a person. If your S.O. does something you disagree with, can you just accept it and look past it or is it a deal breaker for you? There may be exceptions but I think it is more important to get to know the person you’re getting married to really well.
First and foremost, I love weddingbee! I’m not engaged, but my boyfriend and I plan on getting married hopefully in 3 or 4 years! (My dream job is to be a wedding planner too so, I’m fascinated in these things!) But anywho, in response to the question, I think it depends on the relationshhip as long as you know it’s right for the both of you to be married and have a life together, the time dating shouldn’t be an issue. My best friend and her bf have been dating for 4 years and I don’t think she sees herself getting married to him, right now or ever. Mike and I have so many plans together for our future and I know he’s the one. =)
I’m 18 and started dating, for the first time, about a month ago… maybe this sounds lame and gullible and crazy, considering he’s my first boyfriend, but I KNOW he’s the guy for me… the only reason he won’t propose in the next couple of months is because he wants to give me a chance to do some cool single stuff… travel, missions trips, etc., before we get married (it would be a short engagement). He’s 25, so he’s had his fun. And I don’t say this lightly… we believe in marriage for life… when we get married, we’re gonna stay married, short OR long dating relationship!
We’re not engaged yet, and we probably won’t be until Winter 08 to plan a Spring 09 wedding (we’ll be done with college then). But we met in August 05, and were already talking about getting married in November 05.
As for how the dating length affects marriage length, I don’t think it really does. My grandparents have been married for 62 years, and they got married 6 months after meeting eachother. While I could marry my BF tomorrow, though, I think it’s good to ride out some rough stuff and work out some kinks before you’re totally committed. Like FFW, we believe in marriage for life and so we are trying to keep our hearts from rushing in front of our heads so that we make a good decision.
Met @ 16, engaged @ 18, married @ 21, and loving every minute! My parents had a similar timeframe and will be celebrating their 32nd anniversary this winter. I don’t think time has anything to do with it, but rather more about communication, lifestyle, and expectations between the couple.
I don’t think so… my parents met within a year of meeting each other, and are still (25 years later) very much in love.
Mindset definitely matters! I had suspicions after the first couple of weeks that FI would be the one for me, and so I made sure that we discussed all of the hard stuff very early on, like the fact that I would have little control over which part of the country where I found a job, and that I didn’t want kids, etc. We were able to talk honestly and at length about all of that stuff, and discovered that we were basically on the same page, which made proposing a natural next step :).
mr. bee and i got engaged in 6 months. but i think age definitely plays a factor - had we both been younger, i’m sure we would have waited much longer. its different for everyone… but i do believe that when you’re ready and you do meet the one, you just know.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA Engagement Date: March 31, 2006 Wedding Date: November 3, 2007 Venue: Radisson Hotel About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
| 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
Latest Gallery Pics