Wedding Blog
When I got engaged, I was really at a loss as to who could help me plan our wedding. My parents, while fantastic parental figures, really didn’t have too much of an opinion where the wedding was concerned. The same kind of goes for Mr. Kiwi’s mom - willing to help but really just “tell me what YOU want” instead of giving advice. As for close girl friends, I’ve talked about my lack thereof. It was never a problem for me, not having girl friends- until it came to picking out favors and dress colors. My beer-drinking, sports watching guy friends wanted nothing to do with it. This left me with an odd predicament: planning this wedding all on my own, with random choices made by Mr. Kiwi.
As I became resigned to planning this all with no advice or words of wisdom from my family or future in-laws, something happened. My cousin (technically in-law) Karen started reading Weddingbee. While she doesn’t comment, most times than not she emails me responses to my posts. She doesn’t know how great it feels to have someone to talk to about this wedding. Married with two kids and going to classes, I don’t know how she has the time for me and my wedding- but she does. Her daughter is even our flower girl, and Karen has offered her own wedding-day bracelet for me to borrow.
In the midst of all this, I realized something: while you may think you’re all alone in something, sometimes a friend can come out of the most surprising places. While I’ve always adored Karen and looked forward to seeing her and her family at various family functions, I never thought one of my greatest helpers would come from that area. When I’m having a bad day, missing my brother in Australia, she emails to let me know that things will get better. Having come from England to marry my cousin, she knows what it’s like to have a wedding with less than perfect situations surrounding it. Even though we rarely see each other outside of family get-togethers (I want to remedy that, though), her calming words and support mean so much to me. I feel honored to have her daughter as our flower girl, and her as my family.
How about you? Did you find support from somewhere you didn’t expect it? Did you NOT have support where you DID expect it?
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I’m wondering where I’ll be getting my support from as well, and I’m hoping that some of my family will step in, and will listen to my wedding planning madness.
I really think my little cousin, who I want to be a Bridesmaid will…she’s 15 now, and ALL ABOUT wedding planning…she’ll be about 18 when we get married, so hopefully, she’ll still be gung ho about all of it. 
I’ve found that the internet adage, “No one cares about your wedding except you,” to be very true. I have quite a number of GFs getting married soon, but we rarely talk wedding stuff besides to give or ask for vendor recommendations.
I saw a few OOT friends a few weekends ago, and they greeted me with “Hi, Miss Lime!” WTF? I thought i was all incognito and stuff as I don’t let my friends, acquaintances, and family members IRL know how wedding crazy I am.
Because we’re paying, our parents are very hands-off minus a few suggestions and requests here and there. That’s how we’d prefer it to be, anyway. We’re both perfectionists who prefer to do it ourselves. However, Mr. Lime doesn’t care for most wedding-related decisions, so now it’s in my lap.
My other relatives are out of state or the country even, and are astounded at how long it takes to plan a wedding LA as they’re used to the package deals that only take a few months, max, to plan.
I do have a great group of GFs, most of whom are recently married, though, that provide great support and ideas. Venting via blogging and WR messageboards is my greatest source of “wedding support.”
Oh Miss Kiwi, I understand ya girl. I too am going through the same wedding related issue. My friends haven’t helped or even asked me much about my wedding planning and I must admit it sux tenfold. I have had days when it doesn’t seem to affect me but other days it can bring upon tears.
I think i’m just more disappointed in my MOH. I understand she’s single so she can’t relate but I believe this time she needs to set aside her selfishness and be happy for me. It’s been about 6 months since I asked her to be my MOH and she still hasn’t done much. Sadly, I’ve just gotten used to it. I don’t really bother her much nor do I even bring it up.
BUT I have my weddingbee’rs! You guys have given me the best and most useful advice I could have ever asked for. I just can’t explain how simply nice it is to have our bee hive - to have readers who care, to have comments (pos and neg) in your inbox. It’s just SWEEEET. Oh, and Mr Apple also thanks you all!
aw, that’s so sweet of her! I definitely know what how you feel about lack of help. Everyone says they want to help but at the end of the day, there will only be a handful of people…not because people don’t care but everyone just has such busy lives.
I’ve gotten lucky so far. I passively mentioned to my good friend that I was going to go dress shopping and she insisted that she wanted to come w/ me (rather than me going by myself). I don’t live in the city I grew up in so she has to drive 1.5 hrs each way just to try on dresses with me. And she’s already volunteered to be my dress buddy for when I go to other shops as well.
I’m glad you’ve found your support! Your cousin sounds like a great person!
While I don’t have much support, I also don’t expect it. I’ve only asked one bridesmaid so far, and the other two I will ask are both busy with their own lives. If they offer, I will happily have them help, but I certainly don’t expect it or feel entitled to it.
Miss Lime, since I only have my MOH, I’m totally not feeling entitled to anything like that, either. It’s more that I was craving a little support, ya know? Like it would be nice to hear some words of encouragement, and a little bit of pride regarding how Mr. Kiwi and i are doing this all on our own. I honestly wouldn’t mind shopping by myself and with Mr. Kiwi, but I definitely don’t want him coming dress shopping with me! You know how it is when you think you look totally awesome in those acid washed stretch jeans, and it turns out you look like a bit of sausage? I think that I would fool myself into believing I look like a goddess when I really look like Rod Stewart. I ramble. What I’m trying to say is, having someone’s honest opinion about things we’re working really hard for is great. Having someone to relate to is amazing. Just like Miss Apple said, Wedding Bee is a great source of support and advice, and sometimes it’s nice to have someone who actually sees you in real life chime in as well.
Thanks guys!!
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Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA
Engagement Date: March 31, 2006
Wedding Date: November 3, 2007
Venue: Radisson Hotel
About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
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