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With roots stemming from the early part of the 20th century, the dollar dance has long been a traditional part of both Polish and Italian weddings. Today this has grown into a much anticipated ritual with brides and grooms of many cultures, but has also become a question of etiquette.
I have been thinking about whether or not to include this in our wedding. I haven’t been to a recent wedding where it was included, yet we have had several of our guests ask if we will be doing it. They think it is a fun way to spend a couple of minutes with the bride or groom on such a busy day.
I have a serious problem with asking people to give us more money - especially to dance with us - when they are already travelling (several of them) and sending beautiful gifts!
Please help - I am totally torn!
People gave us money without our having to dance.
This is a personal choice. Brace yourself for some naysayers. Ultimately, it’s up to you.
I personally wouldn’t do it because….we don’t dance well…and it would be really awkward…
But, if we could boogie down and sure that a lot of guests would participate….I would go for it!
Have there been money dance horror stories?
Good Luck!
Well, if you like the idea, but aren’t interested in accepting the money, you could always collect the money for charity. And then give it to a charity that you feel passionate about.
dance but don’t ask for money…
i have been to a wedding where the DJ got all the guests up on the dance floor in a circle while the bride and groom took turns dancing with the guests.
It is your wedding. You decide what goes into your wedding and what you are comfortable with and it doesn’t sound like you are comfortable with the idea.
I wouldn’t do it, just because after coming to the wedding (often a long distance for guests) and paying for a hotel room and a present, I think guests might be a little put off by being asked for money to dance with the bride and groom. Of course the guests can always opt not to do the money dance, but if it is a option and centrally focused in any way, they might feel pressured to participate.
you could ask them to do “wishes” for the bride and groom instead of dollars
It’s tradition for our families and culture to have the dollar dance at the wedding. I don’t think I’ve been to a wedding that didn’t have it. I guess it depends on how comfortable everyone is with it. In all my cousin’s weddings, my relatives prepare dollar leis and crowns just for this dance. It never occurred to me that others might feel that its rude, and now I’m wondering how non-family guests will feel.
I was against it, but my FI really wants the dollar dance (says it’s tradition and gets people who don’t usually dance out on the dance floor) so I think I’m caving.
i’ve been to some weddings with,and some without-I,personally,really hate it,and it isn’t part of my background or my FH’s,so we’ll be skipping it. I like the wish idea though,if you feel you need to include it.
I agree with Jasmin, it is tradition in our family. I know my aunts would probably throw a fit if one didn’t happen. I suppose its all about traditions within a family.
I was at a wedding recently that where the GUESTS were requestig it. The grrom refused but when hei friends egged him on he had no choice. We all took part, its a silly fun thing to do but obviously it is your choice.
I think it depends on if it is a tradition in your family or not. If people are expecting it, then it’s ok to do. Otherwise it is completely tacky to ask for money for a dance (IMHO). I had never heard of this before, and went to a friend’s wedding where they were doing this. I was a little bit shocked. I agree that the dancing part is nice, but do without the $$ if it is not an expected family tradition.
I have been to several weddings and have yet to experience the dollar dance. What do your parents think of it? If they think it’s fine then I say go for it.
It is usually a staple at the large family weddings I have been to but I cannot stand that sort of thing.
We didn’t do any of that-no dollar dance, chicken dance, electric slide, garter toss etc..I just didn’t want it and my husband didn’t really care either way.
I just think some of these so-called wedding traditions are just so tacky but I know some people grew up with them and that is what the family will expect.
Honestly, do what makes you and your fiancee comfortable, that is the most important thing.
I had never heard of such a thing until 2 years ago, and I didn’t believe that it existed at first. I agree that if it’s a family tradition you should consider it, but to be completely honest I find it incredibly disgusting and degrading.
If your incentive is to spend time with guests, you can do that in other ways (be pro-active and dance/ talk with different guests throughout the party).
If your incentive is to follow tradition, then have the money donated to charity and announce that in order to eliminate any tackiness associated with the dollar dance
You know , I was at my best friend’s wedding and they did the dollar dance and I didn’t have a dollar. The reception was at a large convention center that also had a hotel where everyone was staying and since most people just thought they were going down for the wedding they didn’t have any cash on them — they’d left it in their hotel rooms. What about handing out monopoly money or something (or printing off some personalized play money with your monogram and photos) and having that available? That might be a fun thing for flower girls and ring bearers to pass out.
i think it’s tacky - especially if you are having a small wedding. if the wedding is large, at least guest like me, who hate it, can hide or leave. if you must do it, i like the ideas of printed fake money or a wish dance where guests could ‘pay’ you with advise
It’s been done in my family, but I never considered doing it myself. That said, I’m a little offended that it’s being called “disgusting and degrading.” Ladies, we’re not putting those dollar bills anywhere naughty. Your old aunts and uncles look forward to it and kids get excited about it. Sure it’s tacky, but lots of traditions are.
Miss Raspberry, do not be ashamed to do the dollar dance if it’s a custom in your family. Just make it your own.
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Mrs. Raspberry, DC/New York Age and Occupation in 07: 24, Owner/Chief Creative Director Fiance's Age in 07: 24, Special Investigator for the government Engagement Date: August 5, 2006 Wedding Date: July 2007 Venue: The Roycroft Inn, East Aurora NY About Me: I love wedding and event planning. I am having a great time with all of my DIY projects and can't wait to share them with all of the WeddingBee Readers (some have to wait until after our wedding)! Other favorites include: cooking, running, tennis, knitting and making crafts. Mr. Raspberry and I also have two dogs - Gewurz, a 2 year old yellow lab and Stella, a 1 year old old cock-a poo.
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