Mrs. Bee posted about Interracial Marriages a little bit ago. I’m very interested in this topic for the simple reason that I’m in an interracial relationship along with about half of my friends. Coming from different cultures is fun because you get to experience new things. For example, my fiance celebrates St. Nick on December 6th. That’s when his family opens all their stockings. It’s so fun!! His Mom gives all of us a giant stocking filled with all sorts of goodies. It’s definitely something I’ve gotten used to. Haha Now, he definitely wants to keep that tradition for our future kids.
Along with the fun comes some “heavier” issues, like what kind of ceremony to have, which cultural traditions to incorporate into the wedding, what kind of “church” to get married in, what religion to raise the kids and so on. It seems like a battle of trying to please everyone. Also, worrying how your parents and his parents will get along. I mean, they never say it, but I know my parents would have preferred if I married someone Filipino. My parents always talk to each other, the relatives and their friends in Tagalog. Plus, my Mom still has a thick accent that perplexes us all since she’s been here longer than she’s lived in the Philippines. (My Dad lost his years ago. Go figure.)
I know this is a huge issue because the other half of my friends refuse to date anyone who isn’t from the same ethnic background or religion. I’m mean and I tease them. “What if you fell in love with someone who wasn’t (fill in the blank ethnicity)? How hard is it to find someone you click with, someone you can talk to, someone you’re madly in love with, someone whom you can picture spending the rest of your life with and consider helping you raise your children? And you’re going to narrow down the odds even further? You don’t choose who you fall in love with.” I know, like I said, mean. But true.
It’s not always that simple I suppose. A lot of my friends have grandparents that can’t speak English and parents who speak minimal English. I understand that they would like their significant other to be able to communicate with them. Also, it would be rather difficult if someone is athiest and another is a devout Christian. (Although, I’ve seen this situation work out before.) Lastly, parents are not always as understanding as we would like them to be. A lot of my friends would get disowned if they married someone who wasn’t the same ethinicity or religion. But I do believe true love conquers all. I know it’s difficult but I have had friends who fought through years of grief from their parents and it’s worked out in the end.
Was this an issue for any of your readers or anyone you know? Did it all work itself out?
Those of you in interracial relationships, are you using any special traditions for the wedding?
Lastly, if there is a culture clash, how do you plan on raising your kids (religion, traditions, etc.)?
- Orange County
- Wedding Date:
- July 7, 2007
- Laguna Beach on the beach, reception on a yacht in Newport Beach