Mrs. Bluebell, New York
Age and Occupation in 07: 26, Finance Manager
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Playing with the cat and/or Consulting
Engagement Date: December 25, 2005
Wedding Date: June 2007
Venue: Bride's family summer home in the Adirondacks
About Me: Trying to find the perfect balance between family tradition (marrying at the house everyone else in my family gets married at), making our's modern, interesting and different from everyone else in my family's, and incorporating some Chinese tradition for my Chinese fiance. I really have no idea what it's going to end up looking like!
Also, I picked Miss Bluebell for my name because I have blue eyes and I'm a loser like that.
Who’s The Chef?
January 5th, 2007 @ 12:26 pm by Mrs. Bluebell
Last night, as my loving fiance was slaving away over dinner in the kitchen…
…he yelled out to me, “What are you doing?”
“Catching up on today’s weddingbee to make sure my post doesn’t overlap with anyone else’s.”
“Well why don’t you bring the computer in here to read while I’m cooking?”
So into the kitchen my trusty laptop and I went, where I caught up and then sat down to decide what to write. Mr. Bluebell, stater of the obvious that he is, suggested I write about who cooks more in the relationship. This was a slightly pointed comment since I had remarked, “I’ll start cooking again…sometime…” a few minutes before, as I haven’t made a full meal in…..oh a very long time. I am going to consciously try NOT to think of when it was because then I’ll just be embarrassed by having to face it head on.
That’s not to say that I “don’t cook” - I love cooking and used to cook a lot! And I do still bake on occasion. But somehow the whole “going to work” thing has recently meant that, for the past several months, I’ve just been too tired and stressed when I get home, so I’d rather eat cereal or order in if Mr. Bluebell isn’t in the mood to cook. We used to make relatively quick simple meals a lot though, instead of our regular ordering in these days. So in the interest of money and health, we reeeally need to get back on that. Recently, neither one of us has made any quick easy meals, so all the homecooked meals we’ve had have been exhorbitantly elaborate whenever Mr. Bluebell wants to experiment!
Back to the theoretical point of the post - even when I cooked a lot, Mr. Bluebell was really the chef in our relationship. I would generally make variations on a few relatively easy dishes, while he would experiment all over the place, and he would also be a lot more likely to be the one in the mood to cook on a given night. This never seemed odd to me since that’s pretty much the same balance my parents had when I was growing up. But after thinking about it and hearing friends’ stories, the more “common” situation seems to be that the woman in the relationship, regardless of whether she stays at home all day or works twice as much as the man, is the default chef.
Which of course means…poll time! So weddingbee readers…
I would also like to note that a lot of Mr. Bluebell’s desire to cook comes from his love of Food Network. If it wasn’t staring him in the face with all those different techniques and spices, I seriously doubt he’d be as ambitious in the kitchen. Where do you think your and/or your fiance’s love of cooking came from?
And a few more quick polls about cooking at home:
Feel free to share any other cooking-related stories you might have too!
18 Responses to “Who’s The Chef?”
my mom was the main cook although my dad always did quite a bit of cooking too. i would like to cook every night if i could, but just don’t have the time. i cook because i need the good home korean cooking i grew up on. plus i love to eat spicy and no one makes it spicy enough. 
Mr. Orange likes to cook. But, I don’t like his cooking — he doesn’t follow recipe and just throws in what he likes and I am not fond of the method or the result. So, I cook and I do cook well and he is pleased to help up with the cleanup later.
My FI does a lot more of the cooking and is way more fancy than I am. Actually all the men in his family cook and they are all amazing. But I do like to help him in the kitchen, and I love cooking with him. It is a nice way to catch up at the end of the day. We espicialy like to cook for our friends. We had a little new years party this year and made marshmallows, which aside from being supper supper yummy, were really fun to make together. Here is a vidio of us making them
http://www.alyandjordan.com/?p=38
Good to see you Miss Bluebell! As for cooking, I’m probably the main cook. If you ask Mr. K, it’s because I’m too “picky” and need constant control over all the food I eat. I tell him, NO, I just need it to be “right”. Okay, so I’m anal. I do let him cook his own meat stuff, I won’t even be in the room, sometimes the HOUSE when he cooks meat.
So, I guess it’s really MY fault I’m the main cook, being super anal and all. 
Oh well, I’m okay with that.
I get the kitchen, he gets the BBQ
I do almost all the cooking. DH cooks occasionally, but it’s usually him making something I’ve told him to make, ha. Also, I think there should abe another cooking vote option- Can be a chore, but most of the time a joy. I love cooking, but it is admittedly a pain in the tush, and I probably wouldn’t bother with it as much, if it weren’t such an enjoyable thing for me.
My BF is a professional cook (culinary school and the whole nine yards), so he does most of the cooking and attempts to teach me how. Mostly it ends up with me not understanding why it matters how I crack the egg as long as it gets into the bowl in the end, and him about to tear out his hair because I just dumped three tablespoons of salt into his gravy.
My Dad was the cook when I grew up and my Mom’s idea of cooking was going to Denny’s or some other kind of diner.
My Dad, being of an older generation cooked depression era food. Read: Over cooked and no flavor.
So enter ldsgroom, who loves home cooked meals.
Yep, I never had really given the kitchen a good try, outside of baking, because I always found that to be easier to do.
So I gave it a good try and 7-8 months later I’ve been doing pretty good. I mean I didn’t even know how to pick out fruit or a good cut of meat.
The holidays and changing schedules have been a challenge as we have not been having our regular meal nights where ldsgroom comes over for my cooking and he cleans up afterwards.
So I hear ya Miss Bluebell, getting back on track is a challenge, though I’m curious, what kind of simple meals are you talking about? I’d love to know:)
my FI went to culinary school and works as a cook, so he does a lot of the home cooking, but because of his late hours, i’ve been doing my share as well. if he has time on his days off, he makes me different dishes that i can enjoy all week when i get home from work. since i have high blood pressure, i’m extra lucky to have my own personal chef who makes me homemade low sodium soups and pasta sauces. i love to bake so we make a good team with dinner and dessert made between the two of us.
We cook about once every two months..? Possibly less. Groceries in Manhattan are just so expensive that eating out (if you know the right cheap eats) can actually cost the same! Plus, we’re lazy and particularly enjoy eating out.
my mom cooked most of the time but my dad also cooked quite a bit. i grew up with both parents loving to cook. the only thing was my mom would get mad since whenever my dad cooks he makes a huge mess!
my fiance cooks sometimes but i usually cook 90% of the time. but i enjoy it, besides… he does the dishes when i cook so i can’t beat that!
Oh, the Food Channel is a wonderful motivator for my FI to cook. That and Bravo’s TOP CHEF. He does most the cooking and I’m so happy about it.
A friend’s mom told me the other day that men who are cancers (the astrological sign) are more likely to cook. I don’t believe that stuff, but my FI is a Cancer. Funny.
My BF cooks all the time and he got hooked as well watching the Food Network. He has become very good at it and I am more than happy to let him take over the duties. Though sometimes I feel guilty that I am doing fulfilling my GF duties.
Just like you, Mr Apple has been cooking more frequently and does a really impressive job at it! I love to cook but have no time and can’t seem to get into it when i’ve got a billion other things to do. I think once everything settles down after the wedding we’ll pick it back up.
I love eating cereal at night - to me its better than eating it in the morning. As a matter of fact, I just had a bowl !
My husband didn’t cook hardly at all when we started dating. I’ve been teaching him, and now I don’t have to cook nearly as much. I feel bad that I don’t really have a signature dish (meaning one that he can’t make) except chicken fried steak. He gets new recipes from the Food Network site and we LOVE Alton Brown and Good Eats.
Miss Bluebell, as I was reading your post, I couldn’t believe how similar you guys are to us! I too love to cook, but b/c of work restraints, I’ve just been too tired to cook. My fiance is the one who does all the cooking, and he loves making elaborate, gourmet meals just like your FI. In fact, he was the one who cooked for our get-togethers this past Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Year’s. And of course, Food Network is the programming of choice in our household (although Travel Channel seems to have better cooking shows lately).
I still bake every once in a while and yea, I occasionally daydream about owning a pastry shop one day (yea right), but if my FI is not home to cook…it’s frozen dinners or leftovers for me.
What’s funny is that some of the recipes that were once considered my specialties have now become his since he’s the only one who ever makes them!
wow! I don’t regale my inability to cook. But CV-III is the real cook between us.
Just recently we had our very first lunch together of the year at Las Vegas airport while waiting
http://belinda-and-carlos.blogspot.com/2007/01/at-wynn.html
here is the site.
I cook a good spaghetti. But he does more cooking than I.
I cook, as long as he cleans up after me and does the grocery shopping. I have not washed a dish or gone to the grocery store since we got married. He loves the grocery shopping, having specific things he buys at Whole Foods, Trader Joes, Pathmark and the produce market. He gets all excited telling people why Trader Joes is the best place to buy canned corn and the produce market it the place for Tofu. As long as it’s in the cabinet when it’s time to cook, I don’t care how it got there. He thinks he has the better half of the bargain but I think I do, which I guess is best all around.
