Calligraphy Conundrum

Calligraphy Conundrum

January 11th, 2007 @ 3:03 pm by Mrs. Lily
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This is the conversation I had on the phone with my Mom last night:

Me: Mom, I’m trying to get my address list to the calligrapher and am totally confused.

Mom: OK, honey, what’s the problem?

Me: I don’t know how to address the inner envelopes! Some of the invites I’ve received use Mr. Lily and my first names and some say Ms. Lily and Mr. Lily. Which is correct?

Mom: Did you check the Emily Post book I gave you?

Me: Yep. Not in there. Apparently Emily forgot to share this info — tisk, tisk.

Mom: Did you google it?

Me: Uh-huh. I get both answers.

Mom: Why don’t you call a stationery store.

Hm… the last piece of advice my Mom gave was pretty good. I’m going to do this, but out of curiousity, how are you all addressing your inner envelopes? Ms. Lily and Mr. Lily is very formal, but first names are nice because they are a bit more personal. The crazy things I think about these days!

Tags: invitations, new-york, stationery |

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12 Responses to “Calligraphy Conundrum”

Guest

I think the correct way is to do Mr. & Mrs. Lily, but since that’s already on the outer envelope, I wouldn’t mind the more personalized inner envelope.

Besides, I recently learned that minor children’s names don’t go on the outer envelope, that “and family” is never appropriate, and that’s it is “The Rev’d and Mrs….” instead of “Rev’d and Mrs.” Who can keep track of all these rules and do they really matter this day and age?!?! Go with what you like and I doubt anyone’ll even notice.

1/11/07 @ 3:07 pm (reply)

Guest

Beth

My Emily Post says to address the inner envelope “Mr. and Ms. Lily” and never to use first names. However, I’ve received plenty of invitations with our first names on the inner envelope. Why put the same thing you have on the outer envelope inside? And I’m not sure what they say about kids.

I think it’s just like every other wedding thing…no matter how you end up doing it, some people will believe the other way is better! haha!

1/11/07 @ 3:13 pm (reply)

Guest

Pencils

I’m not having an inner envelope! Solves that problem right there. My problem: how can I get my dad, a talented calligrapher, to do the envelopes for me? He doesn’t want gifts or bribes. He does do this for fun, but ten envelopes is fun. Fifty is not fun. I may have to grovel.

Anyway, in answer to your question, it’s never wrong to be more formal on a wedding invitation.

1/11/07 @ 3:13 pm (reply)

Guest

valeqt

I just saw this in the ‘Brides’ magazine on newstands now. I totally thought that it was super helpful, because it even addresses children but my copy is at home.

1/11/07 @ 3:14 pm (reply)

Guest

Jason

the weddingbee truly is like crack! my fiancee is addicted.

5.12.2007 forever!

1/11/07 @ 3:15 pm (reply)

Guest

heyjanety

ummm the above man, would be mine. he meant the comment to go with the guest bloggers post. hahaha. oh well… and so what i’m addicted. i heart the weddingbee.

oh and i have no idea what to do about your caligraphy conundrum. =/

1/11/07 @ 3:18 pm (reply)

Guest

heyjanety

yikes my last sentence kinda sounds jerkish. sorry. i meant, i’m sorry i’m no help to your specific conundrum. eeek.

1/11/07 @ 3:23 pm (reply)

Guest

Leslie

We are going to follow suit of what our friends have done and just use first names on the inner envelope. I don’t really see a point to repeating the Mr. and Mrs. on the inside when it is already on the outside. Isn’t the inner envelope supposed to be more personal, anyway? I could be wrong, but that’s my opinion.

1/11/07 @ 3:33 pm (reply)

Guest

Miss. Orange

Sorry == Didn’t do inner envelopes because (1) More money (2) Complication of the etiquette.

Pencil: I suggest the puppy eyed look to dad pleading him to do the entire set of envelopes. I often got away with stuff upon using this technique w/ my dad LOL

1/11/07 @ 3:35 pm (reply)

10.

Guest

Bridget

I think it depends on how formal your invitations themselves are. Did you use Mr., Ms., Miss, or Mrs. before your names/your parents names in the invite or did you omit titles? Did you say “the honor/pleasure of your company is requested” or did you use with something more casual? Let the invitation itself set the tone for how formal or casual the envelopes are. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong thing to do at this point in time…just be consistent

1/11/07 @ 4:25 pm (reply)

11.

Guest

thistleorchid

Formal ettiquete says the following:

Outer envelope = Mr. and Mrs. John Doe

Inner envelope = Mr. and Mrs. Doe
Child 1 and Child 2

So outer envelope has man’s first name, inner has only children’s first name if they’re included.

Also if they’re living together but not actually married, it’s:

Mr. John Doe and Ms. (or Miss - your call) Jane Smith on the outter envelope then on the inner it’s Mr. Doe and Ms. Smith

Hope that helps!

I just recently got hooked on this site - loving it! My wedding - Aug. 17 in Costa Rica (where I grew up!)

1/11/07 @ 4:37 pm (reply)

12.

Guest

Miss Lily

Thanks for all the advice! I’ve decided to go the formal route — i.e. Mr. Lily and Ms. Lily (well, if it was two Lilys, it would probably be Mr. and Mrs. Lily, but you get the idea). Called the calligrapher and I’m making my list!

1/11/07 @ 4:59 pm (reply)