Register or log in —

Newer blog post
more in Blog
Older blog post
Newer blog post by Mr. Monkey
more by Mr. Monkey (oldest)
No older blog posts
Mr. Monkey's Picture
Mr. Monkey, New York Age and Occupation: 27, Internet Wedding Date: September 2007
About Mr. Monkey

It Begins

January 11th, 2007 @ 12:01 pm by Mr. Monkey

I’m beginning to understand what Steve Martin felt in Father of the Bride. There’s just so much stuff to think about when planning a wedding. I’m utterly convinced that males are lacking a gene that allows them to be able to plan a wedding.

I can plan a 20 person movie night. I can plan a beer pong party. I can even plan a star wars 100 person convention in someone’s backyard. But when it comes to 1 wedding - I’m completely clueless….rather useless.

My only litmus test if something is good or not is whether or not it’s squishy enough. Regardless of what it is, this is my only measure of quality. If it’s squishy - then it’s good.

Prior to this whole experience, I thought the wedding only needed 3 things to be planned.

1. food.
2. booze.
3. some minister dude.

But man - there’s so much more. There’s the valet guy, the servers, the ’stations’, the cocktails, the runner, the ring boy, the flower girl, the photographer - whether or not you want a videographer, the color theme, the picking of the groomsmen, the transportation, the orientation of the tables, who gets to sit where, the reception hall reservation, insurance on the DJ, type of music to play, whether or not there will be a live giraffe at the party, the after-party, the napkins, the invitations, the save the dates, the lights, the cameras, the action afterwards, the in laws, the paperwork, the dress, the shoes, the buttons….the list goes on.

And guys - lemme give you a rundown how it works in this business.

Let’s say your wife-to-be sends you out on the important errand of buying a pencil. Now normally the transaction goes like this

you: Hi, I would like to buy a pencil
pencil seller: Sure, that’ll be $1
you: (give buck and take pencil) Thanks!
pencil seller: No problem. Please come again!

But when it comes to the ‘word’ wedding - it goes down like this:

you: Hi, I would like to buy a wedding pencil.
pencil seller: Sure, that’ll be $143.14 with the optional insurance and cancellation fee of $32.56 cents
you: wtf mate!? It’s a stupid pencil!
pencil seller: Well - this is in high demand right now, it’s one of a kind. Your wife will think its perfect. We have many happy customers (whips out photo album with random names scribbled in and dates)
you: ok ok. ugh…
pencil seller: Before you decide, would you like to purchase the “deluxe package”? Most of our grooms and brides go for this package. It comes complete with lead.
you: Wait - it doesn’t come with lead? How can I use a pencil without lead?
pencil seller: Oh - no. There’s no lead in the package you’re getting. But you’re in luck. Normally if you were to buy wedding lead elsewhere it’s $55. We have it on sale for $54.99
you: ….
pencil seller: All I need is your email address, phone number and your first down payment of $80.
you: *sigh* (signs weird forms, takes pencil.)
pencil seller: Please come again!
you: I hate you

2 days later you get a bajillion phone calls and emails from photographers asking you if you have a photographer yet.

If you think about it - this market is crazy. It’s like how all these electronics are adding the letter “i” to everything and then jacking up the price. iPhone! iSpeakers! iEarbuds!

Now imagine adding wedding too - that’s MAD bank you can make there! Wedding iPod! only $120983 dollars!

Bottomline - I’m thankful, cause I’m with someone that doesn’t really stress too much for the wedding to be perfect. In fact, we’re always laughing at the idea that our wedding will be an utter disaster. People on fire, ceiling caving in, bears running amuck. In the end, all I can wish for, is a little bit of fun, a lot of love, 2 dogs, and some cheese. If I have that - then it’s a perfect wedding to me.

GROOM’S WORD FOR THE DAY:

Bustle - (buhs-uhl) the back end part of the brides’ dress that needs to be tied up and shackled to your bride’s badunkadunk so she can dance.

Tags: |   Link for this post | Share this post: It Begins      
Newer blog post
more in Blog
Older blog post
Newer blog post by Mr. Monkey
more by Mr. Monkey (oldest)
No older blog posts
advertisement below

37 Responses to “It Begins”

1.
Guest Icon
Guest
Miss Blueberry

Hi, ChrisChoi! You’re so funny :-D

I always love seeing what our “better halves” think of the whole wedding planning process…Mr. Blueberry tends to get veeeeery silly. It has happened before that while I was mulling over two different place settings for our registry, I turned around to see him with a fork sticking out of one ear and a spoon out the other. :-P

 
2.
Guest Icon
Guest
fizzy

haha so cute :D

 
3.
Guest Icon
Guest
kristine

hehe :)

 
4.
Guest Icon
Guest
Jenny

What an accurate depiction! I know better than to send my fiance out for the wedding pencil.

 
5.
Guest Icon
Guest
Mike D

Preach on brother!!

hahaha loved the story!

 
6.
Guest Icon
Guest
Katie

so funny, laughing so hard I spit coffee out my nose all over the monitor and all my cube mates “prairie dogged” to see what the hell is going on over here!

sublime thinking and right on the $$….

 
7.
Guest Icon
Guest
jen

You r hilarious!!! We brides definitely don’t cut the grooms-to-be enough slack sometimes! LOL.

 
8.
Guest Icon
Guest
Mrs Ant

oh man, you got ripped off! i got my wedding pencil, complete with lead mind you, from an ebay seller for only … dun dun dun.. $75!

 
9.
Guest Icon
Guest
hm

totally. one of the truly enjoyable things about wedding planning was watching fi’s face as he did the math on the estimated cost for a reception.
“no … that can’t be right … wait, SERIOUSLY?”

 
10.
Guest Icon
Guest
Carissa

Any post that uses “badunkadunk” in a sentence is a winner with me!

 
11.
Guest Icon
Guest
tristan

That was great!!!

 
12.
Guest Icon
Guest
Miss Kiwi

Dude, you are HILARIOUS. Why aren’t there more men on here??? Although… maybe I’ll be less twitchy (insane) with a man here to witness my descent into white/ecru/ivory/diamond white insanity. :) Very glad to see Chris here! And wait, are you saying that wedding pencil wasn’t WORTH IT??? Oh no you didn’t… Anyway, welcome! You rock!

 
13.
Guest Icon
Guest
Pepper

That made my day! Hilarious!

 
14.
Guest Icon
Guest
Miss. Orange

I forwarded to Mr. Orange — LOL Thanks and welcome Chris!

 
15.
Guest Icon
Guest
GK

hahaha… Chris, you’re freakin hilarious!!!

 
16.
Guest Icon
Guest
Miss Lime

i remember reading your touching engagement story awhile back via xanga. one of the best entries on weddingbee in awhile (and much better than mine)!

i also love the little injection of testosterone/guy’s POV here.

 
17.
Guest Icon
Guest
Tea

i love it. we need more of his posts. hehe, i can TOTALLY hear my bf saying the same thing! good call about the ‘i’ in front of electronics!

 
18.
Guest Icon
Guest
lori

what’s a wedding pencil????

 
19.
Guest Icon
Guest
miss apple

Great post, puts a great and realistic perpective to this site. Great idea B to add him on. Can’t wait to read more.

 
20.
Guest Icon
Guest
tina

good god, chrischoi invades yet another website. before you know it, he will ditch his job to work for weddingbee full time.

 
21.
Guest Icon
Guest
wsukarebear

That was great! Thanks for sharing (and yes, I’m forwarding that on to the fiance as well). :-)

 
22.
Guest Icon
Guest
Miss Plumeria

LOL. I love it!! So true too. Thanks Chrischoi for the laugh.

 
23.
Guest Icon
Guest
kanipark

too funny… i just loved the entry.. and love the wedding word of the day :)

 
24.
Guest Icon
Guest
gaby

omg! you are hillarious!

****Note to weddingbee:

Must start a group of groom bloggers!! Mr. [insert witty name here].

 
25.
Guest Icon
Guest
Tabitha

Hilarious. I was just getting sleepy. Thanks for the wake-up call!

 
26.
Guest Icon
Guest
L

Hahah I love you Chris! (Obviously not in that way since you are getting married. =P) You are hilarious. You haven’t been updating your Xanga as much, is it because of wedding planning?? I think I actually found Weddingbee through your Xanga!! Yaaaaay

 
27.
Guest Icon
Guest
katerose

Great post. We want more!! =)

 
28.
Guest Icon
Guest
Jason

c’mon man! you don’t know bustle?!

 
29.
Guest Icon
Guest
lindsay

hilarious!!!

 
30.
Guest Icon
Guest
kp

hahaha - great post!
hope you continue being a guest blogger~
and i must say, although i don’t know you either, i hear about your proposal story left and right!

 
31.
Guest Icon
Guest
ddalgi

haha what a great post!! i remember reading your fantastic proposal story on xanga….i dont think i ever met you in person but i was in the same korean class at columbia with your fiancee!! it’s great to see you posting on weddingbee!

 
32.
Guest Icon
Guest
Angie

OMG! Nearly fell out of my chair with your bustle definition!
You have a xanga? Must find and subscribe!

 
33.
Guest Icon
Guest
thea

OMG THAT WAS AMAZING! you should be a regular contributer to weddingbee! if i had been drinking something, it would have been out my nose! and that pencil thing is so very true! sad. but true.

 
34.
Guest Icon
Guest
Ashley

Ah, how I love your posts…and seriously, you’re completely right. Sean keeps telling me not to go bridezilla about the small stuff, and the scenarios you described are exactly what MAKES me want to go ‘zilla.

Godzilla, that is.

 
35.
Guest Icon
Guest
miss violet

awesome post! now i gotta get mr. violet to write something, haha!

 
36.
Guest Icon
Guest
K

Haha, I loved it, and can’t wait to read more. Brightened up my day here at the office. :)

 
37.
Guest Icon
Guest
Second Fitting » Weddingbee » The Wedding Blog

[...] mock up of the bustle. We thought it would be pretty to have 3… as Mr. Monkey said, “Badunkadunk“. It will start higher though. It’s too low here. The bustle reminds me of the dresses from [...]

 


You can also just...

Newer blog post
more in Blog
Older blog post
Newer blog post by Mr. Monkey
more by Mr. Monkey (oldest)
No older blog posts
Visit our sister sites Project Wedding
Wedding Songs
eHarmony Advice
Dating Advice
JustMommies
Pregnancy Calendar
Fertile Thoughts
Infertility Support
Copyright 2004-2009, eHarmony, Inc., Advertise
 


Sponsors
Mr. Monkey
Mr. Monkey Mr. Monkey, New York Age and Occupation: 27, Internet Wedding Date: September 2007
Weddingbee PRO
 
Boards
 
Classifieds
 

Blog Calendar
November 2009
SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930

Weddingbee Bios
Wiki
More