In the last year or so I’ve been to three weddings, each one distinct in every possible way. Each one also had favors. With the non-traditional couple who had an elaborate church ceremony but a backyard reception, we were given jars of homemade jam. The jam was made by a friend (who also made the cupcakes and cake) and was a gift to the new couple. The second wedding, while shotgun and hastily put together, was the traditional hotel ballroom and picture frame/seating card favors. The final wedding we went to was extremely formal, with matching menu cards and small boxes filled with various chocolates and candies.
Now, while I love the idea of a favor, I must say that the idea of the expense of it kills me. Even if we pay the low, low price of a dollar per person, that’s still one hundred and fifty dollars to spend on something we don’t know will be appreciated, much less actually taken (we left the frame favor by accident). I really don’t want to spend what could be a significant amount on a small token like that.
In another forum I visited, someone brought up the fact that not only are we paying for dinner for over a hundred people, but we’re also giving them presents as well (favors). Sure, the “present” is something most likely edible, but sometimes it’s a shot glass, or letter openers, ornaments…
Don’t get me wrong, if we had the money for it I’d likely be raining all sorts of crap on our guests, but we can’t afford it. I’m sure $150.00 dollars may seem insignificant to most of you, but if it’s about a quarter of your paycheck (which you work very hard for), you may be a little hesitant about forking it over for cookies or candy for guests you’re already paying upwards of a hundred dollars per head. And although I do understand they are coming to your wedding, and they are giving you presents at this wedding, at what point is it enough to just give every one a hearty, “Thank you so much for coming” in person without needing to give something (other than dinner and entertainment) in exchange?
Before I get many angry replies, part of this is about envy. I envy those brides who can splurge on this one special day, I really do. But since we can only afford to give what we can to make our day special in its own way, I tend to feel bad about the favor situation. If only we could give the honey, tea bags, little boxes of beautifully colored candy to people we love and adore. Alas, we can’t. So, to stave off my feelings of inadequacy, I’m asking these question:
Are you doing favors? If so, how elaborate are they? Are they high in your levels of importance?
*A little disclaimer: I see nothing wrong in favor giving, as you saw I wish I could… I’m just questioning when jordan almonds became “not enough”…
We’re having a candy buffet, and so guests will be able to assemble their own favor. It’s all about choices and local costs though….our food/alcohol totals around $20/guest, so we have some $$ to play around with decor and favors. I definitely wouldn’t feel bad about choosing to spend the money a specific way if that’s what was more important to you.