A Little Favor?
January 12th, 2007 @ 2:05 pm by Mrs. Kiwi
In the last year or so I’ve been to three weddings, each one distinct in every possible way. Each one also had favors. With the non-traditional couple who had an elaborate church ceremony but a backyard reception, we were given jars of homemade jam. The jam was made by a friend (who also made the cupcakes and cake) and was a gift to the new couple. The second wedding, while shotgun and hastily put together, was the traditional hotel ballroom and picture frame/seating card favors. The final wedding we went to was extremely formal, with matching menu cards and small boxes filled with various chocolates and candies.
Now, while I love the idea of a favor, I must say that the idea of the expense of it kills me. Even if we pay the low, low price of a dollar per person, that’s still one hundred and fifty dollars to spend on something we don’t know will be appreciated, much less actually taken (we left the frame favor by accident). I really don’t want to spend what could be a significant amount on a small token like that.
In another forum I visited, someone brought up the fact that not only are we paying for dinner for over a hundred people, but we’re also giving them presents as well (favors). Sure, the “present” is something most likely edible, but sometimes it’s a shot glass, or letter openers, ornaments…
Don’t get me wrong, if we had the money for it I’d likely be raining all sorts of crap on our guests, but we can’t afford it. I’m sure $150.00 dollars may seem insignificant to most of you, but if it’s about a quarter of your paycheck (which you work very hard for), you may be a little hesitant about forking it over for cookies or candy for guests you’re already paying upwards of a hundred dollars per head. And although I do understand they are coming to your wedding, and they are giving you presents at this wedding, at what point is it enough to just give every one a hearty, “Thank you so much for coming” in person without needing to give something (other than dinner and entertainment) in exchange?
Before I get many angry replies, part of this is about envy. I envy those brides who can splurge on this one special day, I really do. But since we can only afford to give what we can to make our day special in its own way, I tend to feel bad about the favor situation. If only we could give the honey, tea bags, little boxes of beautifully colored candy to people we love and adore. Alas, we can’t. So, to stave off my feelings of inadequacy, I’m asking these question:
Are you doing favors? If so, how elaborate are they? Are they high in your levels of importance?
*A little disclaimer: I see nothing wrong in favor giving, as you saw I wish I could… I’m just questioning when jordan almonds became “not enough”…
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46 Responses to “A Little Favor?”
We couldn’t afford favors either, but we did buy little glass bowls from Walmart (22.00 for 40 of them) and filled them with M&Ms and Hershey Kisses and put one of each per table. People munched on them before dinner started and after. They seemed to be appreciated. Personally, I’ve never been to a wedding that had favors. And I went to a lot of weddings growing up as a photographer’s assistant (my mom). But I live in rural Missouri.
I complete agree with your thoughts on favors. I, too, am having an issue spending $100-$200 on favors for the guests - when quite honestly, I don’t even know if they’ll like ‘em. I hate that the packaging for these edible goods (m&ms) are already costing .13 cents each (clear pillow boxes) and then the m&m’s, time spent on making tags, ribbons and all that. I’m estimating around $160 for 100 guests - so despite it being one of the low-budget-y end favors, I’m still spending $1.60 a person which is definitely irking me. Could it be because it’s one of the only things I can cut away at in my budget? I don’t know. It has been bothering me as well, though. I envy the couples that can splurge and actually get their gifts practical gifts that can be reused - but I’ve found that they cost EVEN MORE (something like $4 or $5) a person. Wowsers. That’s 2 wedding cakes according to my budget.
I have been to weddings that have favors and weddings that did not. To be honest I couldn’t tell you which ones didn’t have them. Most of the time I forget to pick it up off the table and take it with me.
Everyone will remember the great time they had, and not remember that you didn’t give them a vanilla scented votive candle in your wedding colors. ( Not saying those aren’t nice favors)
as a guest, i honestly do not care about favors. i bet most people wouldn’t even notice if you didn’t have them at all. sure they’re nice and always appreciated, but i actually think that’s one area where you can cut back. 
i agree w/ mrs. bee -
i don’t really care about the favor. i think it’s sweet if i find one on my plate and i don’t even notice that it’s missing if a couple doesn’t have them.
I don’t think we are doing favors either. The weddings I have been to that have favors were not any more fun than ones without. I do think edible favors are preferred over a candle or something. But most of the time I forget it on the table after a night of dancing, etc. Instead of favors I’m hoping to write a short personal note on the back of the place cards. My FI and I will personalize them for each person. I think this shows personal appreciation more than a chocolate. Not that I wouldn’t love a chocolate but I’ve never known a guest who only comes to a wedding for the favor.
If it weren’t in my budget, I would be cut out the *stuff* without looking back. That said, I think of the reason favors are given and think how awesome (and cheap) it would be to give a personal note to each of your guests. Something that says why it was important that they as individuals help you celebrate. Maybe on the place cards.
Burke and I are obviously thinking alike
we didn’t have them. no one noticed.
no regrets
as a pp said, we did a candy buffet for the same reasons you stated. we also had $150 guests, and what can you give out that’s less than $1 per person? not much. the candy buffet was very well recieved and much cheaper (we borrowed most of the containers.)
I got a bunch of mini chinese takeout boxes by just asking random chinese resturaunts if they had any extras and they were happy to oblige.
Most of them had plain white, but some even had colored!
In them I plan to just put tissue paper with random types of candies that you can get in bulk at Sams Club or Costco for cheap.
just an idea! In total I’m probably spending about 30 dolalrs at the most and that’s b.c of all the candy (I have quite the sweet tooth)
Honestly, I don’t think anyone cares about favors, except maybe other brides. I’m not doing them and don’t feel bad about it at all.
We are having a huge wedding/reception (upwards of 600 people), so the logistics of doing a nice favor for everyone is WAY out of our budget. We’re doing bubbles for our dash to the limo at the end of the reception, so the guests will be able to take the leftover little bubble container home. However, we are definitely not doing 1 for everyone. Hardly any men at the weddings I’ve been to take bubbles, so that is a way we’ll be able to save money. Our florist told us to only do about 200 of them.
We’re not doing favors. We’re on a very strict budget, and, to be honest, I think most favors are stupid. At least half of the guests leave the non-edible ones behind, and the edible ones–what’s the point? We’re going to be feeding our guests for four hours straight, more food than I can ever imagine anyone eating. Why bother with some candy? I do think the favors that are for breakfast the next day or midnight snacks are cute, but I’m having a daytime reception. I did think for a few minutes that I’d love to give little jars of Block Island honey, as we spent a wonderful mini-vacation there over Columbus Day, and we bought a jar of honey there that was so good I bought several more over the Internet as Christmas presents. (Honey for my honey!) It would be meaningful, and we’d be sharing something amazingly tasty that we found. However, the cost is prohibitive. Other than that, I can’t see the point of some useless tchotchkes. There are too many useless things cluttering up our landfills, why contribute to it?
i threw away the favors we received from the last 4 weddings we went to. i don’t want shot glasses with friends’ names and wedding dates. no cheapie picture frames. and what do i do with two coasters? LOL
we might have a candy buffet instead of individual favors.
Hi Miss Kiwi!
My cousin had her favors as the place card. It was a medal heart holding the guests names on the tables real simple. But honestly my boyfriend and I forgot to take them! (oops!)
My other cousin just did small boxes of hershey’s kisses that guest ate before the reception.
I think it’s not a big thing, so don’t fret! If you want to save and spend the money on favors for something else go for it! =o)
Have a great weekend!
We’re not having favors - mostly because of money, but also because I don’t like them. I agree with you - you’re already inviting them over, they’re eating your food, drinking your booze, dancing to the music you paid a lot to even have there, blah blah.
Mom (who can stretch a grocery budget like no other) has been buying up after-Christmas (and soon the after-Valentine’s Day) wrapped candies (kisses, etc.) on the cheap. Sprinkle them around the centerpiece and you get double-duty as a decoration.
The most memorable favor I recall was from the wedding of the daughter of a children’s book author and artist. It was a relatively low-key homey wedding, and the mother hand-painted each and every place card in her trademark style on a piece of bark. A great keepsake!
Admittedly, favors are by-and-large forgettable unless they are really funny or appropriate to the couple. A friend who married a dentist gave out toothbrushes with the couple’s name & date. A friend who loves gardening made “bell” Christmas ornaments from tiny terra cotta pots. Friends who were architects and got married on July 4th gave American flag pens that read “Building Our Future Together.”
I did finally order something: peppermint lip balm with custom labels with our name & date, since the wedding is around Valentine’s Day and background story is that we had our mutual first kiss back in junior high… and I was wearing flavored lip balm. They were only 42 cents each. Point is, pick something funny/personal for it to be memorable.
We had mini wine bottles and truffles as favors but only because I freaked out the month before. Up until then I thought favors were a waste of money. I don’t regret that I did them, they didn’t blow our budget, but no one would have noticed if we didn’t have them and I certainly don’t think better or worse of a wedding because it did or didn’t have favors.
I do think that if you’re going to have favors they should be edible. No one wants coasters or picture frames that you only bought because they were $1.50 each or something.
I thought we could cut the favors, too. I mean, it really is about the dancing and the fun.
So, when I was about to cut our “CDs” from the budget, my FH disagreed. It will cost us about $150 to make the CDs for 150 guests, but it has been really fun picking out the songs and working together to make something that is a combo of us.
Another thing we are doing is printing out pictures. I’m printing about 200 pictures (about $30) of all our friends and family that I’ve collected over the years. We will have them displayed with clothes pins in between two poles and there will be a sign saying that our guests can take the ones they want to take. I have a ton of fun pictures from various places and I think people we enjoy a chance to see them. Very personal and pretty cheap. Also, I think it will make a good decoration.
I doubt we’ll be having the regular favors….Andrew & I were actually talking about this over lunch….and I came back and saw this post! lol. Right on, Weddingbee! Anyway, we were talking about just having some of our favorite kinds of candy either on each table, or up on the cake table…and letting people take some home with them if they want. Our families are very big on candy/sweets…(hehe), and would love this more than some cheesy favor, I think! We’re only having about 50-60 people anyhow, and I don’t think anyone would really even NOTICE!
I like the idea of giving a donation to a local charity in lieu of favors - the guest will appreciate the act, and you will feel great too since it’s a wedding “expense” that isn’t necessarily all about you.
We printed out labels on 3/4″ circles and stuck those to the bottoms of hershey’s kisses. Cheap, fairly simple, and if there were a lot left over, who cared?
I’m planning on having my favors doubling as seating card holders. Maybe boxes with candies inside with the guest’s name on the tag tied to the box.
Also thinking about having paper fans with the guests’ names on them (having an outdoor wedding).
I’m having 150 guests, hopefully I won’t have to spend more than $2 per person. I’ve been browsing websites and some are selling the BOXES for $3!!!!! RiDIculous!
My favors are doing double duty as escort cards. I have an art theme going at my wedding, so we are filling 16 oz paintcans with JellyBelly jellybeans, wrapping the cans in some colored paper and putting the couple’s name and table assignment on each one. This way, we are kinda only purchasing a “per couple” favor. A lot of DIY work, but fun and fits with our wedding really well. They are ending up to be about $2.50 each, so with just 65 favors, it’s not too bad.
Everyone is also getting a little can of PlayDoh, but those were leftover from Halloween, so it’s almost like its free!
I know…not your average wedding favor!
I recently posted on this topic here: http://christianweddingtips.blogspot.com/search?q=photo+frames
Frankly, I don’t think favors are necessary. Many guests just toss them, anyway, and as you’ve pointed out, you’re already “repaying the favor” of their attendance by offering food, entertainment, etc. I think it’s just fine not to give guests a favor, too.
I’ve been to several weddings where favors were not given out. Nobody seemed to mind
Am I the only one w/ family that would notice there’s no favors? I have aunts that put each favor from every wedding they’ve been to on display. I don’t know why…..
Hey guys, it’s nice to see some different perspectives on this!
Jasmin, my aunt does too. She knows we’re doing this ourselves, so she won’t say anything if there isn’t one, though.
Nope my family would notice too Jas. We are doing nice-quality magnets with one of our wedding portraits (taken fully dressed, a month before the wedding day) on it. From what I know of the vast majority of our guests, this is something they’d like to have… my parents have a huge collection on the side of their fridge that always gets comments from guests, who love looking at all of them!
hey miss kiwi, i’m sooo glad you posted about this! i was thinking the same thing and wondering if people cared. a girl i know works in a pretty well known wedding planning agency in atlanta, and when i asked her if there were some suggestions for me, the first thing she said was- no favors, that they were the biggest waste of money and people left them all the time.
mr. peach and i have decided to take that money and dontate it to a charity on behalf of all our guests.
I think that favor, along with just about every other part of the wedding, should be totally up to the bride and groom. Don’t feel like you have to have something just because some magazine, vendor or website tells you to. Your guests will enjoy the day because they care about your marriage, not because of a box of candy they may or may not eat.
I don’t think favors are a big deal-I’m only doing them because I found some frog prince chocolates that are like a joke drawing i have of my FH. before that,i wasn’t going to bother-I wouldn’t worry about it.
I don’t know why, but I always thought that wedding favors are kind of like advertising for a couple. One thing I’d like to do is have little business card pictures made with, like, our website and contact info on the back. Like Moo Flickr Cards http://www.moo.com/flickr/ and they’re only $20 for 100 cards, which is pretty good as far as cost goes. It would also help everyone to keep in contact with you.
We’re skipping the “favors” and are donating money on behalf of the guests. I think this would be the best gesture and gift to give. we’re not yet sure which org we will donate but we’ll be researching soon.
We’re only doing favors because it’s something that people adore and crave (cookies) — and they’re super special to us as the site of our first date. Plus, it’s only $.54 for the cookies and the bag per guest.
i think the best favors are the pictures the guests get from the wedding. my uncles wedding had the photographer take photos of the guests with the couple at the beginning of the reception, and by the end of the night, they were back and handing out the professional photos to everyone.
i can’t imagine any wedding guest being disappointed because there were no favors. favors are like many other wedding details - fun to plan for but totally unnecessary. mostly, it’s because the OCD planners in us like to add all these cute details that add to the “theme” or say something about ourselves.
miss lemon - are those diddy riese cookies you’re talking about? totally craving those now…
SP, I was going to say that about Diddy cookies, too!! I don’t care cold it is, I want a cheap and tasty ice cream sandwich!
As a guest, I don’t care too much for favors. They’re nice but I wouldn’t be upset if there weren’t any. I’ve never really came upon any favors that I really liked, so I rather have the couple save money. I remember when I was a kid and attended my cousin’s wedding. They had these little glass bells with their names on it for favors. Even as a kid, I was wondering….what am I going to do with this. I can’t find it anymore so I’m sure I didn’t keep it. Pretty much, the same sentiment goes with most of the favors I’ve seen escept for the tea I got at one wedding. I love tea so that’s probably why I love it, but you can’t please everyone and most people leave their favors on the table.
Favors definitely aren’t a necessity - like any other part of your wedding. If there isn’t a purpose behind the favor, then you’re better off without them. However, when done properly, they can serve as great mementos and will add to the ambience of the party. When I consult with brides, we focus on the overall feel of the wedding, and sometimes favors work and sometimes they don’t…it all depends on the situation.
Okay, so unlike some girls who dream of their wedding day for years and know exactly what colors they want or dress or cake…or insert stressful item here. I am debating on burning CD’s of our favorite love songs with the guest’s name on each CD as a name card or doing a donation to http://www.worldvision.org which I did for the holidays. I just sometimes feel people wonder how much you really donated on their behalf, etc. Then with the CD’s I don’t want to be left with fifty leftover ones after all the work I put in. UGH.
we are not doing favors either. i don’t recall ever bringing favors home, and when i asked fh about them, he said “why would we spend our money on that? we have beer to buy!”
I don’t care for them as a guest. Didn’t do them at our wedding. If there were favors, as a guest I would most appreciate Jordan Almonds, actually, because they seem wedding-y to me. I would least appreciate non-edible favors except for the donation or note idea…those sound nice.
i totally agree- favors are really expensive even at $1.00 per person- and at that price, it’s not likely to be something a guest appreciates it. we’re skipping favors, unless we make a small donation to a charity…. many weddings are very expensive and ALL the bridal magazines/etiquette books i’ve looked at indicate favors are a good place to cut corners….
good luck!
Well said about shot glasses there is one more site which explains about Custom imprinted shot glasses make great wedding favors. They are also great for restaurants and bars. Coming soon, we will have recipes for our favorite shooters…….
For more information http://www.squidoo.com/shotglasses
Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA
Engagement Date: March 31, 2006
Wedding Date: November 3, 2007
Venue: Radisson Hotel
About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
We’re having a candy buffet, and so guests will be able to assemble their own favor. It’s all about choices and local costs though….our food/alcohol totals around $20/guest, so we have some $$ to play around with decor and favors. I definitely wouldn’t feel bad about choosing to spend the money a specific way if that’s what was more important to you.