Weddingbee Blog
As I am writing this post, it is late Thursday night, actually Friday morning. Mr. Raspberry and I just had a disagreement. It totally wasn’t major by any means, but it got me thinking. Our argument was over feeding our precious doggies, Gewurz and Stella, real food. I was eating popcorn and couldn’t resist giving the puppies a little treat. We always make it with truffle oil and cook it on the stove, and the doggies LOVE it. Though Mr. Raspberry, their primary walker, doesn’t love it. He says it makes his experience in walking them totally unpleasant, as we live in Georgetown (Wash, DC) and it is necessary to pick up their poop. Yet, the doggies love it and I feel like they should get a treat once in a while.
In the end, I realized that I shouldn’t be giving the doggies real food, and it is totally not worth arguing about.
What do you and your significant other argue about? And how do you deal with not arguing over things that aren’t important in life?
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What Do You Disagree On?
Since the engagement, we’ve have 2 disagreements regarding costs for the wedding. We rarely fought before that. I guess we’re all entitled to our little tiffs now and then. =D
Our biggest fight was about him not wanting to go to the Dr despite severe stomach pain and other unpleasentness (he had an ulcer). He figured he’d get over whatever it was, I insisted he see a dr. (He’s super phobic of needles and is always afraid they’ll take a blood test).
Eventually he saw that the fight really was out of love - I wanted him to get the help I couldn’t provide! Since then he’s been much better about going to the dr.
Other than that, I can’t think of too many other fights. Little things every once in a rare while - last one I think was about . . . I honestly can’t even ermember. Or even when it was. hmm. I guess that’s a good thing!
We disagree on a lot of little things, but when it comes to the big issues and values, we are on the same page for the msot part.
We’re both very stubborn, so it’s taken a long time to figure out our dynamic, but we’ve realized that we love each other, and being loving to each other is more important than “being right” or “winning” these day to day, smaller arguments. When we start arguing about the little things, one person or both just has to step back and remember we’re on the same team and in this together. When a stupid argument gets out of hand, we use the catch phrase “same team” to remind each other and calm down.
fighting is hard. we disagree so much on petty things. i am curious as to how people learn how to ‘agree to disagree’ - advice would be great!
My FI and I would fight a lot and over a lot of stupid stuff (more my issues than his). After more than 5 years of being together we’ve figured out what bugs the other person and we either avoid it or adjust to accomodate because we’re in it for the long haul. We’ve also learned to pick our fights. Lastly if something bugs us but isn’t worth a fight we calmly say to the other (very stereotypical therapist method) … “Honey, it bothers me when you ___ because it makes me feel ____. I would really appreciate it if you fix said issue by alternatively doing ____.” It works. 
sex
we have our biggest fights BY FAR in Blockbuster over what movie to rent!
repeatedly, “please don’t put cold water in the hot pan. it will warp the pan.” but he still does it every morning when he makes his oatmeal.
we don’t have a lot of disagreements actually. i mean, we never have had a humongous fight over anything. and when we do degree, it’s like a debate. and more often than not it’s just a matter of each of us getting to say what we think and finding a compromise. i dunno. i think we’re are always super accomodating to everyone else that we are that way with each other too. Haha.
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Mrs. Raspberry, DC/New York Age and Occupation in 07: 24, Owner/Chief Creative Director Fiance's Age in 07: 24, Special Investigator for the government Engagement Date: August 5, 2006 Wedding Date: July 2007 Venue: The Roycroft Inn, East Aurora NY About Me: I love wedding and event planning. I am having a great time with all of my DIY projects and can't wait to share them with all of the WeddingBee Readers (some have to wait until after our wedding)! Other favorites include: cooking, running, tennis, knitting and making crafts. Mr. Raspberry and I also have two dogs - Gewurz, a 2 year old yellow lab and Stella, a 1 year old old cock-a poo.
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