Wedding Blog
I’ve been meaning to blog about this for awhile, but time has sped by so fast, I haven’t had anytime to just sit and think about this particular post until now. We’ve been engaged for about 8 months, and we’ve been so busy trying to keep up with work, family functions, holidays, meetings with vendors, food shopping, cleaning house, working out, research, other wedding related responsibilities… this list really could go on indefinitely.
I remember when Mr. Apple and I were dating, we had our time managed well. We would go to work, work out, have a nice dinner together, and then maybe even a movie before we hit the sack. On weekends, we would visit local museums, go dine at restaurants and give our foodie review on food and service, visit arborteums, take nice walks around his neighborhood trail, go biking on nice sunny days, take mini trips to Austin, and our most favorite thing to do was to visit the local bookstore and read magazines and new bestsellers half the day.
Fast forward 8 months and yesterday our day consisted of visiting 3 different alteration stores for my ao dai, going to Steins in search for champagne glasses for the wedding toast, and searching online for flower girl dresses, a videographer and a Scotch ATG tape gun for our invitations. Past 1 am I replied back to some emails for the day, and Mr Apple was reading The Lonely Planet guide for our honeymoon trip. This was a normal day for us.
I miss our days together. Sometimes I wish we had one day to just concentrate on us, but most importantly just enjoy us together.
I’ve heard couples often have a “date night” once a week or once a month to refocus and reconnect with each other. Does anyone do anything special together regularly?
And how about you married weddingbee readers, does this hectic life end once you’re married (of course before children)?
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Share this post: We Need Time Alone
I look forward to spending our time, money, energy, etc. on our “real life” again soon!
We designate Wednesday nights to be our “date night”. And by “date night”, I mean - we don’t go out or anything. We cook dinner, eat it at the dining room table, have a nice convo and watch Lost (well… when it wasn’t in reruns). We’ve kept this up for over a year and its great.
this is SO what happened to us. it sucked too. that’s what our friday night before the wedding us time awesome.
ha, it ends, but for us now it’s house time. we’re in the process of buying/building a home. lots of time has been devoted to that. i’m sure when we get settled in, we’ll be us again 
Man, this is happening to us, too. Wake up, go to work, come home, wait for Mr. Kiwi to get home around 7. Make dinner, eat dinner, watch two hours of tv or video games (and blog and research), repeat Mon-Fri. Weekends are spent doing wedding errands, coaching sports teams for kids, and then watching a Netflixed movie we’ve had for almost three weeks (sorry for those of you who wanted Ant Bully right away). I am getting overdosed on veils, shoes and centerpieces.
Hope it goes away after the wedding!
Suggestion 1: You have to schedule time for the things you want to do. If you want a non-wedding day, schedule it as such. Surely your wedding won’t fall to pieces if you take a day or two off.
Suggestion 2: Will you save $x if you DIY - sure. But how much is the time costing you in personal time? Is it worth it? If you aren’t enjoying the DIY than no. Balance monetary benefit with personal sanity. You will thank yourself later. If you can’t afford to have someone else do it, is it really critical for your big day? Will the world continue to turn if you don’t have programs? Most likely.
It’s easy to get swallowed up by the wedding machine. Don’t let it eat you alive.
I agree with HC. After my initial burst of enthusiasm and excitement over being engaged, it became pretty clear that neither of us could handle only doing wedding stuff for 12 months. Taking a break will NOT affect the outcome of your wedding and you won’t look back and think: Gee, I really wish I had done more on the favors–as opposed to spending time together. So think about taking a day or two off at first–and then maybe even graduate to a week!
Id hate to say that the alone time is only with new relationships but I see how people can grow apart. When you do have 80 thousand things to do, it gets hard to remember little things that make you want to marry that person in the first place. Try to take an hour every couple of days (instead of a whole night devoted to you two) that way you’re not stressed about what fax on a bid you might miss come in and you can spend that time talking about nothing wedding or stress related. Just walk to a nearby park and enjoy it for about a half an hour. You’ll feel refreshed.
Miss Kiwi, I could have written that myself. That was EXACTLY our schedule for months! (minus the coaching )
Taking a day off once a week or even every other week definitely won’t hurt the wedding planning any. We’re married now but still pretty busy so we “celebrate” month-aversaries. Nothing fancy. No presents or cards. Just time together with nobody else and no other obligations to worry about. That could mean going out or staying in but either way it’s great!
Well, since Mike and I live about 45-1 hour from each other once a week we meet halfway, have dinner and just focus on “us.” I love it! He lives closer to my hometown and when I go home on the weekends, I focus on my family. So, plan something once a week to have dinner and just relax, it feels great! Good luck!
When we were in the height of wedding planning I would make a list of all the places we needed to go and things we needed to do on the weekend. Then I would plan out the order in which we would run these errands, but I would also plan fun stuff mixed in. We might get an early start and have breakfast at a cafe we hadn’t tried, or have a lunch break at a faovrite restaurant, or better yet a dinner out cause I sure wouldn’t feel like cooking after all the chores. A pit stop for an ice cream cone is always a good idea! This is something that has carried over well into our married life. I work 11 hour days and my hubby teaches drum lessons after work T-Th, so we have little time for errands, but also little time for fun during the week.
Wedding stuff hasn’t intruded on our personal time too much. I try to do it in short bursts and since we live 2 hours away from the wedding that alone helps to keep it in focus. However, it is typical for us to barely see each other during the week even though we live together. We both work too much.
My fiance did begin declaring random days “The Day of Alison” recently. It started during football season - I guess he was feeling guilty. But I love it. It’s basically a date night but sometimes it’s 24 hours - like a whole Saturday. Declare a Day of Mr. & Miss Apple! It’s the best.
With all our trips and friends in and out of town and his new job…me and my hubby have a date night the first weekend of every month. we try to clear our schedules (if possible). if needed, we’ll postpone it, but on our date night we’ll just go to a nice not necessarily pricey restaurant for dinner than watch a movie or go to the bookstore. even though we see each other everyday…it’s just nice to spend a quite night away from home. i love this routine and we’ve been doing it for a while now. definitely not because of any marriage problems or just finding a reason but to remember that just cause you’re married doesn’t mean you can’t still date.
We’re a long-distance couple, so I do wedding stuff on the weekends I don’t see my fiance. Once he graduates and moves closer (and by closer, I mean into my apartmet), I don’t know how we’ll avoid the wedding overload.
I guess I’d rather stay home and DIY than run errands, and my fiance usually doesn’t mind helping, or at least he pretends he doesn’t. Although most of the things I’ve had him helped me with so far have involved trying out cake recipes or favor treats…
we have the opposite- we only talk about the wedding at prescribed times and all other times are for just us. it works out that many many nights are just ours and then we are a team when it comes to getting things done for the wedding- so this way all wedding talk is rolled into one night and we probably get the same amount done as we would if we were always talking about it in little spurts.
We did like spring2008. We had wedding days and us (no wedding) days. I enjoyed the wedding days more than dh did, but I really enjoyed the us days better than wedding days! And we found that after the wedding, yes it does calm down. I would have to say that since I did so much of the diy stuff by myself, I went through post wedding depression! I was just dying to do some diying!! But now that I’m not, I really treasure our evenings together!
You are always going to have to make the time for what you need, but I can assure you it gets WAY better once wedding planning (and the wedding) is over. It added an awful amount of extra “stuff” to do, and stress, and that is now all gone — except for writing thank you notes! But we’ve re-discovered time to hang at home, cook (using all our new, super-awesome cookware), and just get away from it all from time to time. Life’s still plenty busy, but the wedding stress is a LOT on top of it all.
Also - if you have families involved, see if you can keep them in check. A lot of stress comes from unancipated calls/requests from family that catch you off guard, and force you (or make you feel like you should) to get that bit done right away - evne though it wasn’t your priority yet [bc having some non-weddng time was...]. Practice saying “I am planning on dealing with wedding stuff on Sunday (or whatever day), so I’ll get back to you after that.”
Yeah, I understand. My fiance and I have set aside Thursdays as “no-wedding-talk” days. But we should make it a date night, too!
Also, I couldn’t help but notice that you’re looking for a videographer. Please please forgive me if this is “against the rules” but I’m a videographer in Tyler and I thought you might want to check out my web site. It’s http://www.VanessaBerryProductions.com. I apologize if that’s wrong for me to do that, but I know it can be hard to find a good videographer!
My fiance is a cop, and when he went into the academy, an instructor suggested that the class think about having “sugar night” once a week with their significant others in order to maintain their sanity and keep their relationships from getting strained under the stress of becomming police officers. My guy took it to heart, and now a couple of years later, we still have sugar night every Friday (with only an occasional exception), whether that means going out for a nice dinner or just ordering pizza on the couch together. It’s been crucial in holding us together while we’ve been through some major life and career changes.
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Mrs. Apple, Dallas
Age and Occupation in '07: 28, Entrepreneur
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Police Officer
Engagement Date: Easter Day 2006
Wedding Date: May 27, 2007
Blogging Since: September 28, 2006
Venue: Marie Gabrielle Restaurant & Gardens
About Me: I'm in the midst of trying to plan a "perfectly beautiful" wedding and decorating my new home. It's been exhausting but totally worth every minute of it. Ironically, I was never the type of person to want to get married but now that I'm engaged, I get giddy over anything that is wedding related! I'll try my best to give you all unique and practical ideas.
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