Weddingbee Blog

Also, if it’s outside, you can always claim what Emily Dickinson did - that being in nature was being closer to her God than anywhere else. . . I might phrase a bit differently though depending on who I was speaking to.

My FI and his whole family are Irish Catholic and my family…not so much. I attended a First Pres. church, mom is Lutheran, Dad is Catholic…it just didn’t fit.

I was going to pitch what orchid suggested. But also, you could just say that religion isn’t a part of your life at this time and that you wanted to keep the wedding open for all guests. Would you have to officially convert? Would it have been full Catholic mass? Both big considerations with Catholic weddings, I think and all the more reason to not make a harsh decision for a wedding.

But again, outdoors you’re that much closer to God.

Agree 100% with Miss BlueBell.

I also teach at the Catholic school where I grew up and I’m excited about getting married there. If I weren’t getting married in the Catholic church it might cause some problems with my job too. We have to sign a morality clause to follow the teachings of the church and I know some priests who would intepret it as breaking the contract if I didn’t have a Catholic wedding. Like I said, not really an issue for me, but I hope it’s not one Mr. Kiwi has to worry about.

It is a hard subject and I’m not sure how you should tackle it, I think what you have been doing thus far is good.

My fiance and I are both converts to the Catholic church and the fact that we had to get married in the Church was a big deal for me. I grew up in southern california so I always envisioned a beach/vineyard/garden type wedding/reception with magnificent city views, etc… Instead, we’re getting married in a Catholic church and although I still get wistful sometimes thinking of what could’ve been, I understand why the church requires marriage to take place in the church.

As Rebecca said, marriage is a sacrament in the catholic church and like the other sacraments (baptism, eucharist, reconciliation, etc) it should take place in the church by a priest. It’s hard to understand if you are not catholic, and it took me a long time to get my head around it, but these requirements are the basic fabric of the church and what makes the church so strong.

I don’t know what your fiance’s situation is, but if he is a practicing catholic, he might not be feeling pressure solely from his job and family, but also his faith growing up. If you are catholic and do not get married in the church, your marriage is technically not valid in the eyes of the church. You can get it validated later on through a process called convalidation, but until then, you are not “on the up and up” and he, if he is a practicing catholic, should not be taking communion, etc. Also, although the rules are much more relaxed now than they used to be, a nonpracticing catholic marrying a catholic is required to make certain promises regarding how they raise their children, etc…. So maybe he’s having some internal struggles on that end as well.

If you want to talk about it or ask questions, just let me know! It’s a hard issue to deal with and one that I spent almost an entire year overcoming.

I recently changed from Catholic to Protestant (Presbyterian)- which is what my fiance is. And even though I did it for me, my entire family thinks that I did it just for him. It took me months to get them to see that I’m still a Christian- I just changed denominations. So I understand the hardship. It was hard to explain to my grandma why I was getting married in a Presbyterian church and why I wasn’t a Catholic anymore.

I’m very close to my family, but they didn’t really understand at first. My mom’s side is very tradition oriented. And my uncle is a Catholic priest. So it was like….”AH!” But in the end, I know its right. I know that God is calling me closer to Him in this way. So yea, I’ll take the verbal beatings for having it in a Presbyterian church. It’s where I want to be, and its where I want to raise my fiance and I’s children.

Sometimes you just have to realize that, yes, you’re a little different. It doesn’t make your day any less special, or any less sacred. It’s still YOUR wedding. The Catholic church allows outdoor weddings. It isn’t unheard of; they just don’t publicize it. So maybe when someone asks you where you’re getting married, use church “lingo” and say “We’re having the mass/service outdoors”. You should not be ashamed, and neither should your hubby-to-be. Having the service outside in my opinion is like celebrating one of the most exciting days of your life in what God naturally made- just like how God naturally brought you two together.

Heck- my fiance and I contemplated going barefoot in the church because its a sacred time (it was later thought silly and we laughed when we thought of how we’d present that to our conservative pastor)

Hi everyone! Thank you for all the replies. To answer the conversion question, at the moment I don’t plan on converting to any religion. Mr. Kiwi is okay with this, and we have agreed to raise our children Catholic, but hoping to make it less “You are a Catholic first, something else second” to “You are a person who happens to be Catholic.” I’ve been to many Catholic ceremonies, weddings, graduations, funerals. I’m not comfortable enough in my limited knowledge to be married by a Catholic priest, therefore I’d rather do a non-denominational wedding. Mr. Kiwi wasn’t convinced by me, nor was he cajoled by any of my less religious family members. He is a man of logistics rather than faith, I don’t mean anything insulting- he is a Catholic at heart, for first and foremost he’s a man marrying an agnostic. If it’s easier and cheaper to have the wedding in the tent, so be it. His sister had a Catholic wedding, his brother had a Presbyterian (sp.?) ceremony, so we’re not really doing anything taboo.

Again, I really appreciate all your views on this. SO much.