Weddingbee Blog

Kudos to you, I say! It drives me CRAZY how Mr. Bluebell still wants us to alternate who pays for dinner even though in less than 5 months it’ll all be in one bank account!!! My thinking is what does it matter if one of us contributes more now? Then that just leaves more for the other person to put in the communal pot later.

As for rings specifically, Mr. Bluebell wanted to buy the ring entirely with his own money, but since I was of the same thinking as you, Miss Kiwi, I found some ways around that. I finally “paid him back” for when I was temping several years ago and he took on the majority of our joint costs, and told him it was “traditional” for the groom to buy the engagement ring, and then the bride to buy both wedding rings. So even though I didn’t explicitly PAY for part of my engagement ring, I lessened the amount that Mr. Bluebell had to pay for other expenses (like rent) so his ring fund was able to grow that much faster. He was totally fine with it since I wasn’t “paying for the ring” and we got engaged a bit sooner since he wasn’t feeling a financial strain! Woohoo!

I helped pay for my ring, as well. My FI and I are both college students, with very limited budgets. I knew it would be a long time before he would be able to save enough for even something tiny, so I offered to help. Even with my help, we were still only able to spend a modest amount. My ring isn’t huge, but it’s mine and that’s really all that matters. Knowing that it is something we did together is a great feeling.

Miss Bluebell - I did the same thing!

After three years of grad school, my fiance took a job as a poor civil servant. He doesn’t make a whole lot and after his usual day-to-day generosity, it didn’t leave much for the ring pot to grow! So, when he graduated and moved into another apartment in another city, I bought him a bunch of furniture, saying that I didn’t trust his taste and since we would be getting married, I better just go ahead and pick it out. I also started picking up the tab more when we went out, buying him necessary clothing items, and generally helping in little ways as much as possible! I also told him that once he bought the ring, he’d be off the hook for wedding bands and the honeymoon! I’ve been saving money in the meantime and have luckily been able to do so pretty successfully, so everyone’s happy and he can be proud that he bought my ring for me!

i didn’t help with paying for the ring, but I did choose it (though i had given him options- he didn’t have to go for the fanicier band, that was all him- there was some surprise to it that he went for the one i really really loved) looking together was so sweet and fun. I am paying for both of our wedding rings, and bought him a watch engraved with “yes” and gave it to him that day- he was floored, and cried for the first time that day.

I think we will always have our own funds and shared as well. I don’t want to have everything merged.

You are the sweetest thing in glasses! I love that story and I thank you for sharing. Once you are married you can save for a BIG bed.

Josephine, that’s quite the “observation”. I hope you’re kidding. How’s life back in the stone age?

I think it’s perfectly fine to put money towards your own ring… I didn’t, but I have to admit, I kind of feel bad that my FI spent ~$5k and he only wants a ring that is less than $300.

We actually picked out my ring set 3 years before he proposed!

I picked it out completely as well….but you know that!

I’ll most likely help pay for my ring, or more realistically, it will be paid for in my name since I am the one with credit- he’s kinda bad with saving money I just told him, I want to be surprised with the engagement, so he should buy a cheap ring (like $50 if he wants) to propose with and then we will go shopping! So kudos to you, I don’t think it’s odd at all!

Wow, Josephine…I don’t think you really have your priorities straight.