Wedding Blog
I figure that one positive thing about having gone through the process of wedding planning before is that I can reflect on my experience to help all brides-to-be. With that said, the one part of the process that caused a MUCH bigger headache than I ever anticipated was our wedding registry.
We started our registries online and, in the case of Crate and Barrel, went into the store for a Sunday Morning Engagement to complete the registry (and, lets be honest, for the free glasses and knife).
My advice:
1. Start your registry online ahead of time: Being online gives you the fabulous opportunity to look through the stock that the store has, but doesn’t constrain you if your local branch of the store doesn’t carry the pattern. It also helps to narrow down your likes (and dislikes), enabling you to spend even less time in the store (shockingly, registering is a tiring process).
2. Save all your packing slips/receipts: My aunt bought Mr. Pearl and I a nice vacuum off our registry from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. However, the vacuum came in its original box (not a BB&B box) and had no packing slip. I had to call customer service to figure out who bought it for us. Unfortunately, when we had to return it, we had no proof about when she bought the vacuum. In the interim, the price went down about $50. I had no proof that she bought the vacuum at the higher price point, so we had to eat the cost.
3. Register for useful items, not cutesy gadgets: A lot of people use the registry to put fantasy type items that they have never used before — from something as small as an apple corer to an ice cream maker and beyond. Don’t do it. You have limited cabinet space. And let’s be honest — if you haven’t used it in twenty or thirty-something years before, you’ll likely never use it. If you really want gadgets (or at least something at a lower price point for a variety of guests), register for upgrades of gadgets you already have — an upgraded set of measuring spoons, a nicer garlic press, etc.
4. Don’t be afraid to throw in big ticket items: When you go to register, a lot of people are afraid of looking like greedy goblins by putting a $2000 couch or a $1200 bed on their registry. However, it is very true that people will go in on gifts together to purchase a larger (price-wise) item. And even if people don’t chip in to buy that beautiful buffet you put on your registry, it doesn’t hurt to get that registry completion discount on the item!
5. Be considerate of your space issues: A lot of people register for voluminous amounts of STUFF just because…well, you can. Everyone hears that you’re “supposed” to have 12 place settings of china, silverware, glasses, etc. For many people, particularly those who live in Southern California, it’s just not practical to have so many pieces when you live in an apartment and there’s not a lot of kitchen space (or cabinet space, in general). Skip getting impractical cordial glasses or a set of 12, when in reality, a set of 8 will definitely suffice.
6. Bring water with you: Registering is exhausting. You will likely start to feel run down and start to get annoyed with the little things. The weater helps to soothe your throat (and nerves) 
For the ladies who have done this before…what’s your best registry advice?
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We already created our registry, and I agree with all your tips!
I have one suggested addition, and one small quibble.
First, the quibble: in the case of kitchen gadgets, we did register for lots of stuff that we don’t currently own a version of. But that’s just because on our college student budgets, we coudln’t afford those things. Since I come from a strong background of cooking, and always take over my parents’ kitchen when I visit them, I know we’ll take advantage of the gadgets in our own kitchen, too
Suggestion: Have fun! A lot of people, especially the men, think that registering is a total drag. But we were having scanner wars, joking the whole time, and just generally goofing off. We added lots of “silly” stuff to our registry (like an Ab Lounger and a Marvin Gaye CD) the day we created it, which we removed before we told anyone about the registry’s existance. 
What had intially seemed like a chore, ended up being a really fun day for both of us!
the one thing i will say about “sets of 12″–when it comes to china, unless you are pretty sure that your pattern won’t be discontinued you could end up scrambling. in a few years you may find that you *want* enough china to host a holiday or a dinner party and then, lo and behold, your pattern is no more. also, if you get but 8 plates and then you chip or break one, you might have a search ahead of you just to maintain the bare minimum of dishes. (though http://www.replacements.com/ does have a lot of long gone patterns).
the other thing i would note is that for limited storage (a situation with which i am familiar, living in NYC) it’s usually the item’s footprint that is what takes up the most space. for example, if i have a place for a plate shaped thing, then there isn’t a difference when stacking 4 more on top of the 8 already there. maybe that’s just me, but i haven’t found height to be as limiting as the lack of space for the china’s footprint.
like Miss Blueberry, i agree with what your saying about gadgets to some degree (esp. big things like bread makers or ice cream makers). on the other hand, i definitely registered for things that had been on my mental wish list, but i’d never pulled the trigger on and am glad i did. (i.e. a Microplane box grater, juicer attachment to my food processor, lemon reamer, fat separator, electric knife, splatter screen…)
Do it online. It’s SO much easier and at stores like BB&B and Macy’s, their online stock is very much like their in store stock.
Registering that way was a breeze.
To the bees: Yes, I agree…poor college students don’t have some of the gadgets that you’ll ultimately end up using. To that end, I would definitely put those on a registry…*IF* they are things you would end up using (not just putting them on because you’re “supposed to” have them. I’m thinking more along the lines of ice cream makers, bread makers, etc. To a certain extent, rice cookers too (unless you eat rice daily, which not everyone does).
Also re: china going out of stock, this leads to a tip that I didn’t put on here. I strongly recommend getting classic china pieces because, one day, you might look back and realize your china looks extremely dated because you bought it in a fit of fancy in your twenties.
Remember to get a print out of your original registry because some places (ahem, TARGET) will discontinue an item and you’ll never notice it disappeared from your registry.
Also, know that most stores can provide a print out that provides: name of gift buyer, location of purchase, date of purchase, and original price. This helped me get the original value of a bedding set back - instead of the 12.50 I might have received without the receipt.
I know that LNT and Williams- Sonoma BOTH can provide this list.
Good post!! I was gonna tackle a registering post sometime soon too!
What I’d reeaaally like to know is if people register for BOTH fine chine AND everyday stoneware. And silver flatware AND everday flatware.
Anyone? Anyone?
going through the registry process i have seen a bunch of couples fighting in the stores about what color to get of this or what model to get of that - I was embarrassed for them. What FH and i did was register for everything we “disagreed” about and then talked it over calmly like adults when we got home.
since in the end we couldn’t agree on china patterns at all (i’m traditional he’s modern) we registered for 6 place settings of 2 matching patterns. both happy!
Thanks for all the awesome registry tips! Does anyone have any suggestions on specific places to register and definitely to NOT register? I have heard great things about BBB, and I saw some previous posts about the hassles and drama with Target . Any other places that you would highly recommend?
i recommend both BB&B and C&B. i don’t recommend target. i’m also on the fence about recommending honeymoonwishes.com because there was no way to tell who the gift giver was.
FI and I are registering this weekend! A Seattle Knot gal offered this advice (take what you will–just throwing it out there in case it helps someone):
1) Go through your house first and make a list of the stuff you don’t have or needs replacing. Then note things that you don’t have but want (but don’t totally need).
2) Think long term on what you will want to have but also keeping in mind how you will store everything.
3) Go by yourself first and possibly with a friend who has recently gotten married to help. Scout out the things on your list you think you’d like to add and the stuff you want your FI opinion about. Keep those items for him in the 2-3 option range as generally that’s all they can handle in the bed, bath, kitchen shopping department.
4) Limit the stores you visit in one day. It gets overwhelming quickly and harder to make decisions.
5) Research things like electrics, cookware and knives first.
6) When you go w/ your FI, bring snacks. They will last through the process longer if you can keep them from getting hungry. Funny, but true.
7) Register with stores that have a completion program and easy return policy and if possible (interchangeable gift cards - Williams Sonoma, Pottery Barn).
Don’t use anything until after the wedding a) etiquette calls for that b) you’ll change your mind on things you thought you wanted (would rather take back for credit to apply to something else). Keep all receipts, packing slips etc once you get the gifts in one envelope in your planning files for returns.
9) Use online registries and go to the stores only for things you can’t get online or to take a closer look at like (cookware, electrics, china, knives). Much easier.
10) Whenever you have the option to make an appointment for anything wedding related in general, you’ll likely get a better experience b/c you get devoted time from a sales person who works with brides & grooms often.
11) Guests will buy things not on your registry regardless of the range of stores, prices etc. You will also get cash.
12) Ask your FI before you delete or add anything. He might not care but then again, many do.
I agree with katiey424’s suggestion. We registered at Target and they discontinued our color of plates a MONTH before the wedding. I was so upset. Keep checking on your items to make sure they aren’t discontinued, especially if you register at a place like Target that changeds a lot.
We had a good experience with BB&B (besides the whole vacuum incident) and C&B. I’ve heard awful things about Target from pretty much everyone. Macy’s is a place that’s kind of on the fence — either people have great experiences or horrible because their things tend to go out of stock fairly often (at least on the website), which can make it difficult for gift-givers who prefer to purchase the gift ahead of time and have it sent.
Katie, I couldn’t agree with you more about the arguing in the store thing. Mr. Pearl was adamant about registering for cordial glasses, even though in the then-three years prior of our dating history, I’d never seen him drink a cordial, much less use a cordial glass! We put it on the registry, but talked about it the next day…and then he was like “Oh yeah, we probably wouldn’t use those.”
I am thinking BBB, Macy*s and PotteryBarn…and I have been doing research so we kind of know what to scan (hopefully)! I have been thinking of a fourth: Williams Sonoma, Restoration Hardware or Amazon. We have a TON of OOT and just want to make sure they have options.
Also, each of those websites has a checklist of suggested items…of course you should do what’s right for you, but it’s a jumping off point!
And the GENERAL, most important remider (that I got a few times but felt was unnecessary): weddings aren’t about gifts, but forming a happy marriage! 
Miss Emerald - I am registered for both fine and everyday. First, I do plan on doing a lot of entertaining so I know I will use both. Second, we are having a HUGE wedding (ie more than 700 invites) so this was a way to add additional pieces to the registry so we wouldn’t have to worry about running out of items and people feeling like they were buying leftovers.
wsukarebear mentioned that you should try to register at stores with a completion program and preferably interchangeable gift cards. What are the stores with a completion program? And what are “interchangeable gift cards”? Thanks!
Miss Emerald, we registered for everyday stoneware and fine china. We also registered for some expensive silver-plate silverware.
The stoneware was a 45 piece set (service for 8 plus extra pieces) for $49.99 on Bed Bath and Beyond. Since that was uber cheap, we registered for Vera Wang China (gold lace) and Royal Albert silverware - both service for 8 also.
We don’t expect to get much from the registry, but it will give us something to collect after the wedding.
gracie - a completing program is when a store has incentives for completing your registry. If you haven’t received some of thos emust-have items after your wedding, some stores offer discounts for those items still on your list.
Interchangeable giftcards, I wouldn’t know…ha ha, I posted it but it was C&P’d from a Seattle knottie. I would assume it very literally means yuo can use it in a number of stores (maybe they are in co-hoots or something).
Emerald - As previously mentioned, I think I’ll be doing every day and china dishes on the registery. We’re inviting about 400 people and I’m having 3 showers…and I do want guests to have options. That’s mostly my rationale, but also even if you don’t use your china (hopefully you pick a classic design) for 15 years…my mom started using her china after about that long for luncheons. Even 12 is not big enough for our family holidays, but for other little fancy occasions.
other tips, wear comfy shoes/clothes and take breaks! i helped a friend register and it was pretty exhausting. luckily i’m all about breaks so i forced her to sit out an hour for lunch and she had a much better attitude about registering afterwards.
We aren’t registering for everyday plates since we already have a nice set, but before we did, we planned to have both fine china and everyday plates. Ditto with the silverware.
I don’t know what an interchangeable gift card is, but one of the things I liked about BB&B is that they send those 20% off coupons quite frequently (and also accept them after their expiration date). If you save up a bunch of them, you can use them to purchase items from your registry Your guests will also use the coupons to purchase gifts occasionally, which is why you shouldn’t be afraid to put some more expensive items — with a 20% off coupon, the gift may be down more in the price range you envisioned! Also, BB&B and LNT take each other’s coupons, so that’s another money saver.
Another upside to registries: most of them stay open for about a year or so after the wedding, so family and friends may purchase birthday or Christmas gifts from the registry if it hasn’t been exhausted.
We still haven’t decided if we’re registering or not. We’re only having about 50 people and it feels a little presumptious. Plus, I feel like people should have to figure out their own presents. If we were having a lzrger wedding with extended family, coworkers and aquaintances I could see it.
BUT on the kitchen debate: my rule of thumb is if I’ve used it other people’s homes and thought, “Why don’t I have one of these?” For instance: my MOH & I make apple pies at her house because she has an apple peeler/corer. Or my fmil who has a cherry pitter- possibly one of my favorite gadgets ever. If you want to save cabinet space don’t register for sets of pans, mixing bowls, knives etc. Just get one or two nice ones. If you need another down the road buying one pot won’t break you, but you’ll have more cabinet space in the meantime. I know the rule is don’t buy things with only one use, but if you’re um, lazy a good apple peeler/corer will go a long way to actually making a pie.
I assume an interchangeable gift card is one that will be accepted at many stores. For instance, I got a gift card for Gap, Old Navy, Banana Republic - apparently all those stores are owned by one company - so the card could be redeemed at any one of them. I believe Pottery Barn and some other store are linked in that way…hope that helps!
Emerald:
We inherited fine silverware but we registered for everyday. We also registered for fine china AND for everyday dishes.
We registered for individual 5 piece place settings and once we had received 4 settings, they were worth more than an advertised 42 piece set (for 8 plus two serving bowls).
It was easy and we were able to buy more with the leftover money.
I think a lot of your tips are great, but I totally disagree about the breadmaker / ice cream maker thing. I have one of each. I did not buy either for myself, though I’d always thought they’d be cool to have. I use them ALL THE TIME. In the summer, I make tons of ice cream, sorbet, sherbet and even occasionally margaritas (though I have not yet mastered frozen yogurt). Bread I make year round and I also use my breadmaker to make lots of different doughs.
Just because you don’t already have something doesn’t mean you won’t use it.
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Mrs. Pearl, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation: 26, High school history teacher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 37, Software engineer
Engagement Date: No official date, we just decided :-)
Wedding Date: July 2007
Venue: St. Anthony's Greek Orthodox Church, Ritz Carlton Huntington Hotel
About Me: Mr. Pearl and I have been together for about four and a half years now. We've been "engaged" since 2004 and were originally supposed to get married in June 2006, but postponed the wedding to July 2007. I love shopping for housewares and office supplies, music, reading chick lit, football, and the diverse world of Los Angeles dining.
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