Wedding Blog
It’s official–we’re on for my second bridal shower! This one is being hosted by my beautiful and amazing bridesmaid Katie :). All the key parties compared our calendars, and we came up with April 14th. This shower will be in Kansas City, for my friends and relatives, while the other shower will be in St. Louis, for Mr. Bueberry’s family and family friends. That one is on April 7th–just a week before the KC one! 
IMHO, two showers is just perfect: I get to celebrate with all my closest friends and family without making either group drive across the state in an already-busy season.
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Okay, can someone explain the bridal shower situation to me?! Your guests are already getting you wedding gifts, they probably also got you an engagement gift, and then there’s a bridal shower as well. How many showers are too many to ask your guests to give you gifts? I personally don’t get it and don’t want anyone to think I’m just out for a gift-grab, so I am not holding a bridal shower or an engagement party. We’ll just collect wedding gifts and that’s it.
And yet, it’s become so common. Does this not offend guests to be asked for several gifts for what is essentially the same event (your wedding)?
To be fair, most engagement parties and bridal showers are not hosted by the bride or groom or even the bride’s family. They are hosted by bridesmaids or aunts or family friends.
Traditionally the bridal shower was to equip the bride with the necessary tools for keeping a house. That would not have been a good gift for the wedding itself. The wedding gift itself was for entertaining purposes - china, silver, etc.
some people are having 5+ showers? i only have like 5 friends total. 
Ahhhh ok I knew there must be some reason for having both. I know that the engagement party and bridal shower is not usually hosted by the bride & groom or their families, but I was still really concerned about appearing tacky or gift-grabbing! Especially since we already live together so we have most of the major stuff we need.
yeah, wow. I never heard of having more than one shower!
Mrs Bee–lol! I just figured I’d cover all the bases.
I think the main reason most girls have more than one shower, is that multiple groups–often in different parts of the country–want to honor the bride by throwing a shower. Since Jeff’s family and mine live several hundred miles apart, his aunt is hosting a shower in their city, and my MOH is hosting one in mine/hers. It’s more a matter of convenience than anything else.
you get gifts at an engagement party? i’ve never heard of engagement parties until i started reading the knot. i’ve always just gave a couple gifts, one big one for the wedding and then usually a smaller personal one for the bride at the shower. nothing too extravagent but always funny [i gave one friend a "husband survival pack" with footie pjs, an aromatherapy candle and eye mask for those nights where it just ain't happenin...that went over big with the older married women].
i figured most people had two, one for family and friends and then, if they’re close with their coworkers, one with them.
Since we’re on the topic of showers … I have a small family and small circle of friends so I’m having one shower with just close family and friends. A family friend wants to host a lunch for me (maybe 10 people), but those guests would be invited to my shower. Is that OK to put “no gifts” on an invite? Or can I verbally tell people not to bring gifts? I don’t want them to think they have to.
I actually realized I miss voted.
I had one with my church in NJ, one with his church in TX, one with my co-workers, and one my bridesmaids had for me with my college friends. We were just so spread out, it was much easier this way. The latter two were very small, but special.
I will be having 3 or 4 showers but none of the same people will be invited (except the moms).
1)My MOH (sister) is throwing a shower for my side of the family in my hometown.
2) My fiance’s mom is throwing a shower with her side of the family 4 hours from my hometown.
3) My bridesmaids would like to throw me a shower in Oregon (I’m in California)
4) My coworkers typically throw a shower for anyone getting married/having a baby.
In my circle you don’t do multiple gifts for the showers, weddings, etc. There’s one gift, and if you give it at the shower then that’s great. It definitely keeps it from feeling gift-grubby, and allows the gift to feel more personal because they can be there to give it to you.
I haven’t had any yet, but if I do, it will be no more than three of them. One in East Texas where I’m from, thrown by my aunt (since we threw my cousin’s when she got married), one in Central Texas thrown by his grandmother (where we live now, and where his family lives), and then one in West Texas by our former roommates. It’s the issue of wanting to include everyone, but too many people to all have at once. Plus, we have to consider our college friends and older relatives who don’t need to be travelling all over the state except for the wedding itself.
The one in West Texas is really more of an excuse to go out there and do engagement pictures on the campus where we met. If our friends want to do something, we can make a weekend trip out of it, and kill two birds getting the things done that we need to do.
As for gifts, I’d prefer to get help with aspects of the wedding itself, since we are paying for it ourselves. It would mean more to have someone volunteer to make something (and buy the materials for it) than to have gadgets that are nice but unnecessary. My FH and I have lived together since college (with other roommates) so we definitely have our home built already.
We’re just having one…and we didn’t have an engagement party (I know some people expressed that and engagement party + a shower + the wedding was just too much gift giving/getting).
I am fine with having one shower. That way I don’t feel guilty about having 4 bachlorette parties!
I’ve given engagement parties for friends, and they’ve never been gift-giving parties, just celebrations with friends. I think I like that better than showers, not just because of the gifts, but because it is about the couple (not just the bride).
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Mrs. Blueberry, Kansas City
Age and Occupation in 06: 21, Full-time Student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, Full-time Student
Engagement Date: September 10, 2005
Wedding Date: May 25, 2007
Venue: Wynbrick Center - a historic mansion in my hometown.
About Me: We're having an intimate, 125-ish person wedding with a full-blown dessert reception. When I'm not obsessing over wedding stuff or studying for my BA in English, I'm usually playing with our two kitty cats, blogging, doing crafty things, or hanging out with Mr. Blueberry!
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