Open Question: Alcohol Debate

Open Question: Alcohol Debate

February 8th, 2007 @ 12:18 pm by Open Question
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Hi There!

My Fiance and I are planning on getting married in September and we had always assumed that we would have an open bar at our reception. However, one side of his family is Mennonite, and they do not approve of drinking. I also have several family members that feel the same way. So, in light of this information, we decided that we will hold two receptions. Or more, one reception at the church with an after-party following later that night at a different location.

Now here’s my problem…How do I go about inviting people to the after-party without making any family members feel like they are being left out. I would love for them to come, but due to the circumstances my fiance and I do not think they would be comfortable around everyone else drinking and would not enjoy the party. How should I word information about the after-party in our invitations without making family feel unwanted?

Thanks for all your help!

Sarah W.

Tags: advice, alcohol |

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7 Responses to “Open Question: Alcohol Debate”

Guest

thistleorchid

I would invite everyone to both but make it clear that there will be alcohol at one of the two parties and that the one without alcohol is the “main” reception so that people don’t feel like they’ve missed the main reception. Plan to do all the regular reception things at that one - cake, bouqet toss, etc, and treat the other one like an after party. So say something like:

After the ceremony, please join us for a dinner reception at Blah Blah Place. A champagne (or coktail, or whatever) after-party will follow for those who wish to attend at Blah Blah other place.

That way they’re aware that there will be alcohol at the second place and can opt out without your not inviting them. And an after-party always sounds a little like somethign for the friends and die-hard party fans.

Good luck!

2/8/07 @ 12:24 pm (reply)

Guest

Tea

is it necessary to invite family to an after-party? after-parties are definitely a “young’n” thing as they would say in my circle. i do plan on having one just to get more comfortable face time with friends and would just send separate invites or do the whole email spam thing.

but if you’re not comfortable with that approach, i totally second thistle’s more inclusive suggestion. as long as you make it clear that alcohol will be served then no one will show up where they won’t be comfortable.

2/8/07 @ 12:36 pm (reply)

Guest

I agree with thistleorchid. I might also word the invitation to the after-party as: “Please feel free to join us after the reception for a nightcap at…” just so that it sounds more “optional.”

Either way, I’d invite everyone to both to avoid hurt feelings.

2/8/07 @ 12:36 pm (reply)

Guest

I agree with PP. I’d call the first thing the “reception” and the second a “cocktail party” so people who do not approve of the drinking will opt out of their own accord.

2/8/07 @ 12:41 pm (reply)

Guest

Miss Peach

I knew of a few couples that did an afterparty. None of the family members came, kinda like what Tea said.

We sorta had this problem too. So we’re doing a reception at the church with the adult guests(no alcohol) and then a seperate reception for our young friends and also family.

2/8/07 @ 12:44 pm (reply)

Guest

Lixue

my mom was adamant about no alcohol, so we’re also throwing an after party.

For the after party I made seperate invites to insert into the invitations of the friends I want to invite

2/8/07 @ 9:12 pm (reply)

Guest

Sarah W.

Thanks for all of your help guys!

My biggest problem was that all of my family members will be invited and have already mentioned that they will be there (what can I say..my family likes a good party)..so I didn’t want it to feel like we were completely forgetting about his side of the family. But I will definitely be going with the suggested wording..about joining us after the reception for a drink!

2/9/07 @ 11:10 am (reply)