Wedding Blog
In today’s hive:
To add your question to the beehive, leave a comment below and we’ll update this post to include your question. See all past beehives here.
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Some readers have mentioned that the beehive feature is a little confusing to use. Perhaps listing the number of the question you’re answering at the beginning of each comment will make navigating the answers easier. Besides building an entirely new feature, does anyone else have any suggestions on how to make the beehive more user-friendly?
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Is it okay to ask my guests what hotel/venue they are staying and their date of arrival via the response card? I’m planning to provide welcome bags and it would be helpful information.
i’m not sure how hard this would be to implement, but it might make it user-friendly, if answers could be posted below the questions
so the beehive would look like
1. Question
Answer 1
Answer 2
2. Question
Answer 1
Then people could read the answers easily to certain questions.
Perhaps there could be a single daily question instead of multiple questions every few days?
and an answer to Joan (Question #1): the Conservatory in Central Park is where a lot of ceremonies take place. It’s in the northern section, I believe.
2- I ordered my dress (and bridesmaids dresses) online for a HUGE discount. My dress from House of Brides (just received it and am so happy with it) and bridesmaids from Netbride. Try dresses on at salons and find what you like and then check out the online options.
3) That’s what I’m planning to do - we have a small number of rooms blocked at one hotel, and we can get a list of people who have reserved rooms. For others, we will wait until we get the RSVPs and then ask them where they are staying.
Question for the hive: I made my own design for my STD magnets that I plan to order through vistaprint.com. I downloaded the template they offer to make sure your design fits, but I’m confused by the various margins: the full bleed canvas size, the “trim” size, and the “safe” size. Could anyone please explain this to me and let me know which I’m supposed to follow? Thanks!
For OC2NJ: Question #2: Have you tried Mon Amie in Costa Mesa? They seem to have a wide variety of dresses in a different range of prices.
#1 - Joan - try Staten Island. There is an awesome Asian Scholar Garden there. My cousin got married there and it was so nice.
Why not just make sure you answer a question by addressing the person who asked it?
Laura - if you are including info for specific hotels with your invitations (like if you reserve a block under your name) then call those hotels a week or so before and see if you can drop the bags off and the staff can either hand them out when your guests check in or put them in the rooms for you.
penguin– for vista print, the full bleed canvas extends beyond the actual magnet (the “bleed” is so that the edges look crisp before they “trim” it). the trim size is where the actual cut will be.. and the “safe” size is just a suggestion for the area that will 100% be printed (the space btwn safe and trim is very narrow).
also, question for the group:
is it normal etiquette to pay for the hotel rooms for all out of town family members? my fiance’s mother just asked us to reserve 10 hotel rooms… and this was not originally in our budget. if so, do I need to reserve for both the night of the rehearsal (Friday) AND the wedding (Saturday)? what do I do about family (my side) who already reserved their own hotel rooms and are not expected us to pay for them? it seems unfair.
The beehive has always seemed like a message board type thing to me anyway…just controlled by Mrs. Bee as to which “messages” made it to the “board”. But then it seems like everyone here doesn’t want a message board…
Becky - we post every question that gets posted in the beehive. the beehive is a substitute for a messageboard where these type of questions would typically be answered. as we do not have plans to add a messageboard any time in the near future, we’d like to have some sort of method to answer reader questions, as we can’t answer every email we receive.
we’re looking into threaded comments now, so hopefully that’ll make the beehive a little easier to navigate. 
For OC2NJ - have you tried Ferndale’s and Mary Me Bridal? They’re both in Orange and they both have decent selections on both wedding gowns and bridesmaids dresses. There’s also the Dresser in Fullerton - more boutique type and pretty small, but they have a decent selection with reasonable prices. Hope this helps!
Lisabaobei - I don’t think it’s customary to pay for all the hotel rooms. Are your fiance’s parents paying for any of the rest of the wedding? Are you sure your FMIL didn’t just mean when you talk to the hotels about reserving a block to make sure you have at least 10 for that side of the family? Especially if your side is paying for their own, it’s not fair to do that them. Sure, you could reimburse them, but it’s the fact that it’s already done that matters, illustrating how you hadn’t budgeted or planned to pay for them to begin with.
Unless it’s the only part of the wedding you are paying for, I would have your fiance talk to his mother about how it wouldn’t be fair to your family and how you simply don’t have the room in your budget for it (especially considering house payments or other things you are saving for, etc.)
I’ve got family coming in from everywhere, and I don’t think anyone is expecting us to pay for their accomodations. That’s the reason we are sending save-the-dates and invitations is to alert people that an event is coming up and to start saving or regretfully decline.
THANK YOU “m” and “helen.”
kandaceand jason,
unfortunately, it doesn’t quite work out that way in asian culture. although i agree with you that paying for your family’s accomodations is not quite fair. however, it is considered ettiquete and often expected that it should occur. my poor dad is not only providing for their hotel accomodations, but he is also paying for a large portion of the airfare for our overseas relatives. (not to mention paying for 1/2 the wedding, and the expected wedding gifts that are to be exchanged). trust me, i’ve fought with my parents about the injustice of having to do so, but it is polite. and saving face and having good manners is very important to some asian families, such as mine.
lisabaobei, i think asking your FI to talk to his mom about what she means by reserving a block of rooms is a good idea. maybe it’s best for him to get clarification first. and hopefully, she doesn’t expect your family to front the bill. good luck!
lisabaobei - Whether you’re responsible for your OOT guests’ accomodations depends on your culture (or in your case, the culture of the person telling you that it’s your responsibility). But whether you do it or not should be you and your FI’s decision.
I’m a Japanese- American currently living in Japan and here in Japan, it’s usually standard for the bride & groom to pay for ALL travel expenses (plane and hotel) for any guests who will be traveling from another prefecture. This can get quite expensive but the invited guests are aware of this and try to ‘pay for their own travel’ by giving a more generous monetary gift to the couple.
I’m not sure about other Asian cultures though.
We will be inviting several people from Japan to our wedding but will NOT be paying for their travel because we simply can’t afford to. If they’d like to attend the wedding, they’ll be responsible for their own travel arrangements.
I hope something can be worked out with your FMIL. =) Perhaps she’ll be happy with some sort of cheaper group rate or extra assistance helping her side of the family find affordable accomodations. Good luck!
-Lisa
I have a question: My FMIL is plus sized and we are now looking for an afternoon appropriate dress. Alot of what we are finding online are cheap looking, dowdy and outdated. It’s really sad the lack of choices out there. Does anyone know a good and fashionably plus sized website to check out? Or are there any great places to look in NYC or NJ? Also, she can only spend around $200.
Thanks
Carrie (#18)–my mom is also plus-sized, and we found her dress at a plus-sized dress shop. The ones designated as “MOB/MOG” were, like you said, all very dowdy and shapeless. This is because the people who design those dresses don’t have experience or knowledge about the plus-sized body, and just make looser versions of their regular-sized dresses and call it “plus size”. So when we started looking at my mom’s favorite everyday plus-sized shop we had much better luck
Alas, it’s in Kansas City so it wouldn’t do you much good…
Sorry if this isn’t that helpful!
I’ve just gotten engaged and am just starting my search.
NYC is so expensive…and I’m on a budget…so far. 
I’m looking for loft spaces in NYC that have outdoor space as well (ie, Penthouse 15) that will allow roughly 150 people. Also, if anyone has a decent caterer that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg in NYC too.
Thanks a bunch!
Carrie - try igigi.com, kiyonna.com, Lane Bryant, sydneyscloset.com, plussizebridal.com (they have a mother of the bride/groom section), edressme.com (they have a plus size section), bluefly.com (you can search by size), and nordstrom.com. Your FMIL can also look into bridesmaids dresses; Watters has some that would be great for mother of the bride/groom, and sizes go up to 24. I like this one: http://watters.com/product.php?coll=watters&showid=404
Good luck!
for the beehive…having a bit of trouble with the schedule of the wedding day. how much of actual dancing/party time was alotted for your wedding?
mrs. bee, i love the beehive and have asked quite a few questions and appreciated the answers, so keep ‘em coming.
i actually have another question - i have a friend who is lesbian and was married in canada (she lives in ohio now). she didn’t take her partners name, but they live together. does anyone know how to address the envelope? thank you!!
Future Mrs. C - just as you would any other married couple with two different last names; you use the appropriate title for each along with her name, and put everything on one line.
Ms. FirstOne LastOne and Ms. FirstTwo LastTwo
(or
Dr. FO LO and Ms. FT LT
or
Ms. FO LO and Prof. FT LT
etc.)
Are there “normal” wedding times and days of the week? For instance, would it be wrong to get married on a Friday in the morning?
Question for the beehive:
Please help! A friend of a friend was supposed to perform our wedding ceremony (in June) and alas…. yet another “free” item on my list that didn’t work out. Anyway, I am in desperate need of an officiant for our wedding. I don’t have $250-$300 to spend - as we’re having a tiny wedding. So finally, my question:
Does anyone know of any youth pastors or officiants that may be able to perform our ceremony and sign our marriage license for around $100? Is that unheard of? The entire ceremony should be no more than 15 minutes (I think)… and we’ll feed him/her…. =( Help!
woops… I’m in Los Angeles and the ceremony is in the Beverly Hills area.
Galphoto-
Try the Seamens Church Institute in NYC..www.seamenschurch.org.
I have heard great things about this space- you can rent it out…I am pretty sure you have to bring in your own caterer/vendors, but it may be worth looking into…
Good luck!
Carrie-have her try Coldwater Creek, they have a website and a catalog-that is where my Mom found her outfit and it was gorgeous and fit very well.
Definitely do what my mom did..she found some beautiful and believe it or not, affordable dresses by going to nordstrom.com, going to the wedding shop and going to mother of the bride…$5 shipping and stores do alterations that my mom loves…she is also plus sized, and there were many beautiful options..and customer service was GREAT-hassle free returns, free exchanges, etc…good luck!
“Are there ¢¢â€š¬…”normal¢¢â€š¬? wedding times and days of the week? For instance, would it be wrong to get married on a Friday in the morning?”
Amy, as far as I am concerned, there is no right or wrong time to get married! However, most people choose to be married on a Saturday afternoon to allow out-of-towners travel time (Friday and Sunday) and to prevent guests from needing to take time off of work.
On the other hand, your venue and vendors are more likely to be available, and your guest list will shrink (which can be helpful if you are on a budget).
Ask your closest family and friends, who you couldn’t live without, if they would still be able to attend before committing to the date.
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Beehive
Feature Launched: Aug 31, 2006
About: A forum for readers to post questions and get feedback from the hive, aka the weddingbee community.
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