Wedding Blog

you should list their names and boxes to select for each name. Otherwise how will you know who is getting what?

SarainSeattle covered what I was going to say! An alternative wording would be “please write each guest’s name next to the entree he/she would like”

With this, though, you’ll want to make sure that elsewhere on the response cards you’ll have a “___ of ___ will attend” line, so it’s excruciatingly clear to your invitees how many you’re asking–you don’t want it to look like a bring-your-neighbor-and-her-cousin’s-family free for all!!!

k:

No one thinks they’ll have uninvited guests, but it happens–the average wedding guest is not up on etiquette and won’t realize that the names on the envelope are the ONLY people invited. People include their kids, friends, parents–anybody who they think you would’ve probably MEANT to include. They see it as helping you out, when in reality it’s just a big pain in the neck.

So here is a question that is sort of related to this: my fiance has been invited to a wedding (invite came to him only - no “and guest”). We are in Montana and this only matters because even the average bride here isn’t up on invite etiquette from what I can tell. We think that it was a mess up from fiance’s friend (the groom) but are not sure. Fiance says he won’t go if I’m not invited but just wants to send the card back with both names (so they will know in advance) and see what they do (he does not want to call). I don’t want to piss them all off (but I will be a little ticked if I am not invited). I think I know the “proper” thing to do, but what would you guys do? What would you want your guests to do?

gji7–From the bride’s POV, you really shouldn’t ever assume that you’re invited. For all you know, it may be a VERY small wedding–immediate family and a couple close friends, etc. And even when it does seem like an obvious error or oversight (I’m sure if this was the case, it wasn’t intentional!) it’s never proper to add yourself to an invitation.

Even though your FI doesn’t want to call his friend and ask if you’re included, that’s what he’s got to do. I suggest he just say “So I noticed the invitation came to me only…is gji7 included or is it really just me?” If it’s really supposed to be just him, there’s not much you can do about it.

And if your FI isn’t good enough friends with this guy to call and ask him, then maybe he doesn’t really want to go to the wedding and is just looking for an out

Thanks guys! I finally convinced him call last night. Just as we thought, the groom had no idea it made a difference and he thought we were crazy for calling! You just can’t please everyone! This is exactly why I was anal about adding “and guest” to anybody we didn’t know and are still planning for extras!