Weddingbee Blog

lol u sound like me… i told them theyre just going to have to be naked. haha

lol. so true. what bothered me the most was when the BMs seem to care more about looking good than about supporting me on the d-day. i know this is self-absorbed and all, but seriously, whose wedding is it anyway? sheesh.

I love all mine dearly, and I’ve just been too wishy-washy with them about dresses. They’ve finally just told me to be firm, choose the dress and tell them and they’ll get it. Of course, instead I’ve gone ahead and chosen five dresses, but I figure it’s the nicest way to be both compromising and firm about it. I’ve dictated color now, so no more round robin emails about that. And I’ve chosen the company and have offered to split some of the cost of the dress as it’s more expensive than what I originally had intended for them to spend. So we’re working pretty well together now, it just needed them telling me to firm up. So perhaps they’re happy with that now?

Absolutely! You had given them every opportunity to voice their opinions beforehand. They missed the chance to be part of the decision making process and so now they will wear what you pick! I fully support that. I have had some frustrations with my MOH, my one and only attendant, but the one area we have been very lucky is getting her dress. When I started looking for my dress I saw a sale rack in the boutique. I went over to look at them, found the perfect dress in her size, called her at work to come down and look at it, she did and loved it and so I bought it off the rack for $55! Done and done. I guess that is the great thing about having only 1 bridesmaid.

Mine got a bit wishy-washy on me, too. I sent out emails without reply about this dress or that one. So finally I went to the store, tried on two and took pics front and back. Then I emailed those picutres and said, which one of these do you want to wear. They agreed, and that was that.

You go girl! You let them know who the BRIDE is and that you pretty much control what goes on!!

Plus, I’m pretty sure all the responses sum up what I was gonna say! *LoL*

LOL OMG!

I second your emotion!

Your situation was much like mine, I would give them ideas they wouldn’t say “yay” or “nay” so I told them to pick one that they would like to wear and that didn’t get any response either…

So finally after 2 months of beating around the bush with them I went out without them and picked it out myself. I put it all on hold (we went off the rack @ Lord&Taylor) and told them all they need to do is to pick it up and pay for it… they didn’t even have to search the racks, they just had to go up to the register and say “I have a dress on hold for me under [bridesmaid's name]”

One week later I get a call from Lord&Taylor that nobody came and picked any of the dresses up and they were going to put it back on the floor… So I went out and picked up all the dresses and paid for it out of my own pocket… and dropped them all off to them personally…

$800 later… they love the dress and can’t wait to wear it!!! I, on the other hand, can’t wait for them to pay me back as our next installment for the caterer is due at the end of this month!!!

*nervously biting fingernails*

So I can afford to go Bridezilla on them at this point right? Since I’ve been doing everything for them!

Right?!?!?!?

same thing…also, dont you just wish there is someone who could tell BMs straight to their faces “TOO BAD..DEAL WITH IT. IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, THEN DON’T BE A BRIDESMAID”….

*sigh*

i wish there is such a person to make your wedding planning much easier…i mean money spent on BMs is a lot and what do they do for you?

This post may sum up my entire wedding planning experience. My bridesmaids/MOH have been one big disappointment. And I get that they have lives and my wedding isn’t their number one priority, but you know what? It’s my friggin’ wedding! Friendship is about being there for the person when they need you - and that means at the very least, showing plenty of enthusiasm when it’s required, being somewhat prompt when responding to emails or voicemails, and making some effort to plan at least ONE event. I am even buying their dresses and making it very easy for them. I often wish I had eloped so that my friends wouldn’t have been subjected to the test, because then I never would have had to know how much they would fail to live up to my expectations.

I am with Jessica. Lets face it, no one cares about our weddings as much as we do. I am really lucky to have BM’s that live near me and communicate well (for the most part) via email. But as a previous poster mentioned, where does it say you need more than one BM? Technically you only need a witness. I understand the pressure, believe me, of asking certain friends and what not. And I also know it’s fun to involve certian friends and family. This is a safe zone for venting, I just can’t believe how some of you are laying into women who are your friends!

I understand the frustrations and since we’re all adults I think adult conversations are in order: “So-and-so, I asked you to be a BM because I love you and I knew we’d have a lot of fun! I am trying to get this done so that you all actually have a dress to wear. Please get measured by X date or plan on walking down the aisle naked.” Explain actually getting a flattering dress that will fit, or having you order a dress that will cost more money in alterations later…

You may be paying for everything and that is a wonderful gift, BUT, again it’s for your wedding. 96% of dresses are not really able to be worn again. The jewelry usually matches the wedding…sorry ladies, I have been in six weddings and I guess if I knew any of my bride friends had said this about me, I would be mortified.

Of course, if every person involved in a wedding read an etiquette book, was online as much as we are, or took a wedding-related crash course they would know what we know and would be as helpful as we expect. Is that too much to ask?!?!