Weddingbee Blog

Miss Kiwi - I hear year.

My fiance’s brother got engaged one month after we did (to a girl he had been officially dating for about 2 months). They planned a wedding for last December (6 months before our wedding). Although the weddings were to take place 2,000 miles apart, I was still peeved, and I remained peeved the entire time leading up to the wedding, and even for a good amount of time afterwards!

Now that it’s over and done with, I realize:
1) nobody will compare our weddings, so stop thinking it’s a competition
2) it doesn’t really matter if someone is married before you — or at the same place you are — if you and your guy are meant to be and
3) sometimes it’s better to come second, because those who will compare, will know yours is better!

As you can see, there’s still just a tad of spite left in me, but I’m almost over it!

n-I had the same exact thing happen to me! I’m taking that little Postsecret confession of “You stole my theme idea for your own wedding. Now my theme is ‘everything better than your wedding’.” to heart! I came to the same realizations…it’s not crazy though…a wedding is a lot of hard work, money & time, and you want it to be special. The thought of someone trying to usurp that will make anyone spiteful!

I find it amusing that my ex from high school/early college (we were together almost 4 years) is getting married exactly 24 hours after we are in the same church!

It cracks me up :)..but we have no invite overlap.

There’s really only two choices for the number of people and quality of food in my hometown - the Marriott and the Intercontinental, unless you’re going to do it at home with caterer/tent/etc which is goo-gads more expensive than the two previous choices. So my sister got married at the Marriott nine years ago and I will be having my wedding in the same place (same rooms, etc), but enough time has lapsed that it won’t be the same really at all and those who will compare will only compare in the sense of - we had a great time at your older sis’s so we know you’ll have a great time at yours and a great party every ten years just isn’t often enough!!

Also, just about every high school friend of mine who has graduated has gotten married here too. Oh well, they’re different every time b/c of the people (we all married guys from out of town so not only them but that whole side of the guest list is different), music choices, menu options, flowers, etc etc. And we’re all happy for each other and treat them kinda like mini-reunions. So far one of us has been married each year and none of us live down there anymore, so it’s nice to be home and see everyone. This time at least I don’t have to stress about what to wear, it’ll be different than anything anyone’s ever seen me in, that’s for sure!

Some friends of ours are getting married six months before us, and we have the same reception venue. However, the two will be on different floors, so really it will be like two completely separate events.

And yes, we booked after they did. Oh well — it doesn’t seem to bother them!

You are too funny! I do hear you, part of the reason I am getting married in a small church with the reception under a tent at a private home.

Heh. I’m getting married at the same venue my friend from high school got married in… but I mean… that was years ago… so hopefully I’m not upsetting her….

But, I have to admit. I have a couple of realtives who are getting married before us. And one, sent out the invitations - and they used chocolate covered envelopes. Now most people would probably not care, but the fact is I had been planning on using chocolate envelopes! Heh. So for about five minutes I was bummed because I can’t do that now… heh. But it seems silly doesn’t it? To care about things like that. I’m over it now. But at the moment I really was quite sad about it. Heh.

I went through this with TWO of my FI’s friends! We planned our Italy DW for almost 2 years & made the mistake of telling his friend (who is a known copykat). Suddenly he and his FI were doing just about the same thing! Another of his friends chose the same date and “style” reception: backyard BBQ party. I fumed for almost a year over their “idea stealing.”

The story ends perfectly though because, while many of their closest family members can’t make it b’c of the expense, we have everyone we love and cherish sharing our day! (But I still get that twinge of annoyance when I think about it….)

You’re not crazy…that is, unless I’m crazy as well! A close friend of ours knew we were having our wedding at the venue months before they even announced they were engaged (they met up with us for drinks the night we signed). They proceeded to act shocked that we had chosen the same venue (rolling my eyes right out of my head). Their wedding is now a month and a half after ours. After the initial shock (I know, I’m a little disgusted by my own shock…as if we are the ONLY ones who can get married there) but they have copied several other wedding related things we’re doing and still ask for our advice. The best thing to do is let it go and hard as it is, stop comparing because it is just one day and you probably don’t have all the same friends attending both. We have 5 out of 200 so I think we’ll be fine.

This happened to me, where a friend of my fiance’s booked the same venue after we had already booked ours for the weekend before. It bothered my fiance more than it bothered me. I think it would depend on the venue; my venue lets you bring in your own caterer, and you can pretty much design the tables, reception flowers the way you want. We also have different ceremony sites, so the few overlapping guests won’t mind. After all, one of my fiance’s labmates also had his reception at the our reception venue a couple years ago, but it was totally low key and quaker style, which is not us at all. Ultimately, you and your fiance make the wedding, not the venue.