Wedding Blog
Mrs. Bee here. It’s been a little more exciting than usual here on weddingbee huh? 
One of the points that a couple commenters made on Miss Broccoli’s recent posts was why someone would blog on a wedding site if they didn’t love weddings. Well that’s an interesting point, so let’s talk about it!
I started cutting pages out of wedding magazines when I was in high school, and had certainly given some thought to the details of the “big day.” But I didn’t become “obsessed” until I started planning my own wedding. I’m a tomboy who’s a hopeless romantic at heart… plus I love planning!
But I know many brides-to-be who have never dreamt about their wedding day; haven’t considered their dream ring, dress, venue, etc. They hadn’t given much thought to the wedding planning process at all until they became engaged. Mrs. Butterfly for example would always say that she was more than happy to allow her matron of honor plan the whole shebang. She wasn’t a wedding person at all - in fact she’s never even purchased a single wedding magazine. But she was a blogger who became a bride. She loved blogging about her wedding because it enabled her to share her ideas, and get feedback and advice from the weddingbee community.
So can you not love weddings and still blog about them? Certainly! Besides… what fun would it be if everyone on weddingbee was absolutely gaga over weddings? We want to have all kinds of brides with all kinds of opinions!
Tell us - have you dreamt about your wedding day since you were a little girl? Were you never and still aren’t really a wedding person? Or did you become a wedding person after you got engaged?
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I think I fell somewhere in between. I had a wedding dress picked out in high school, but of course it’s nothing like the one I ended up getting! I was also one of those kids who planned Barbie weddings complete with receptions and dancing 
But until I got engaged I didn’t buy any wedding mags or look seriously for ideas.
Honestly, I didn’t consider anything until when I knew the proposal was coming, after we’d looked at rings. I know on here I seem obssessed with details, but that didn’t happen until after I was engaged. Growing up and during HS, I don’t remembering ever planning, though I did think this one church that some family friends got married in was beautiful. I guess that could count as premature planning, ’cause it’s the one we’re getting married in! (I brought Mr. Plumeria there and crossed my fingers, hoping he’d love it too, and he did!) But other than that… nope.
I’d also like to comment that I think being a blogger on a national blog doesn’t necessarily reflect who the writer really is — I know that being aware of my audience affects the way I write to them, you know? My personality is out here but no one except people who interact with me outside this blog really know me. I can see this issue with Miss Broccoli’s posts and people being quick to judge based only on her published words — while some of their reactions I can understand, it is a bit far to tell someone they need therapy etc based on one post. I can’t wait to read more of her posts to get a more rounded-out, albeit not complete, idea of who she is!
I think I am a lifer! I used to watch Days of Our Lives with my older brother when he got Mono and had to stay home from school for a month or so and that was right around the time that Kayla and Steve (Patch) got married. Well, I LOVED that wedding! It was all yellow and white on a boat with flowers everywhere and “lello” had been my favorite colour since I was a practically a baby so that idea stayed with me for a while.
Later (I’m not sure if it was in high school or not but if not, very shortly after) I started buying Martha Stewart Weddings magazines regularily. After a couple of years I added In Style Weddings to the mix and my dream wedding ideas came from Rob Thomas and his wife Marisol’s wedding. And, of course, my wedding now is turning out to be unlike either of my two previous models. LOL!
Anyhow, it was interesting for me once I actually started planning and started having to make choices. In all honesty I think I may have been better off if I hadn’t seen all of those wonderful weddings in magazines over the years because I had so much trouble picking everything! How could I possibly choose between a snowy, heartfelt, intamite ceremony in a ski lodge by a roaring fireplace OR a fun summer ceremony in a park with fresh flowers everywhere OR a beautiful fall harvest wedding with pumpkins lining the path to the ceremony and beautiful leaves all around us in varying colours…? You get the point.
Then choosing a dress was a nightmare because they are all so beautiful! It got a little easier when I actually went to try them on because there are just certain styles that do not look good on me but I still couldn’t answer people when they would ask me what I was looking for.
So, long story short - I loved looking at all of those magazines and dreaming about my wedding day for all of those years (it helped that I had the same boyfriend through all of that too!) but when it comes right down to it, they are just inspiration and most often you and your FI make decisions based on where you are today and, regrettably, what you can afford. I still love looking at those magazines though, and obviously I still love blogs and anywhere else I can get cool and unique ideas to make the day special.
miss plumeria i certainly agree! i’ve met a ton of people in real life after having read their blogs (sometimes for years). you see a glimpse or facet of someone online, but it’s really different when you do meet them irl and you see the whole person.
I definitely have been dreaming weddings since I was old enough to know what one was, though I don’t think that I gave serious thought to my own until I hit adolescence.
In particular, I remember lying in a hammock with my little sister one summer when I was about 15 and she was 5, imagining what we thought our weddings would be like. Hers, of course, would be pink and glittery, and mine would be peach and blue. And although it turns out that I won’t have much peach, there will definitely be a lot of blue in my upcoming wedding! I also remember designing various wedding dresses for myself, starting in high school.
Once I FI and I got serious in college and my best friend got married, I got very interested in weddings. I bought copies of MS Weddings way before I ever got engaged. Ditto with cutting picures out of magazines. Getting a ring on my finger only meant that I no longer had to *hide* my obsession.
For me, I think the interesting thing will be to see how into weddings I still am AFTER the event goes down. FI certiainly hopes that my obesessive tendencies will turn to cooking or something else productive once we have walked down the aisle.
No, I definitely did not dream of my wedding day as a child. Good grief, I had a ton of guy friends and liked it that way - keeping them as guy friends. I never in a million years thought that I would get married. Once I had a serious boyfriend for a few years, that changed and I would think things like “Gee, this would be a nice spot for a wedding.” Then I would slap myself around (not literally) and remind myself that I wasn’t interested in weddings.
After I broke up with that boyfriend I really thought that was it. I wasn’t interested in finding another and getting married at all seemed like something I was just not destined to do. Once I got engaged to my next boyfriend, I took it all in for a couple of weeks before perusing wedding magazines. The first one was Martha Stewart’s Fall 2005 magazine. I was hooked. It’s been a headache ever since, but wedding planning has become a constant in my life for the last year and a half.
I was never a wedding person until I met my fiance. I never dated in high school, so when I got to college and finally got a boyfriend, I started to think about it just a little. But everytime I thought about my “maybe” wedding, my groom didn’t have a face. Then I met my fiance. I knew he was the one after five weeks (two of those weeks were before we started dating). After dating for three months, we started talking about getting married, and then I started thinking seriously about what I wanted for our wedding.
The wedding has changed over the last year and a half, but now I can officially call myself a wedding person.
i’m along the lines of miss tulilp. i am a bit of a tomboy still but a huge hopeless romantic but never really put serious thought to my future wedding while i was younger. sure i’d look through the odd ms weddings mag or watch a show but i never actively seek the material and never did i cut anything out. when it came to thinking about my own wedding all i could see was me in some big white dress, the pastor, and a guy with a fuzzy head whom i’m assuming was supposed to be my fiance. how awesomely vague is that? lol.
i was never in a relationship where marriage was ever a possibility so i didn’t think about it. but when i started dating my current bf and had one of those thoughts [right before two of my college friends got married] i suddenly saw his face and everything just fell together. while i’m not a total wedding person, i’m looking forward to being able to plan our own wedding.
though i’m also in the middle of a mad marrying season too with a lot of my friends either married off or are getting engaged [plus i'm helping my best friend plan her wedding as we speak] so i think about it a lot more and have started a binder but that’s only so when it does get time to planning i already have my ideas. plus it is a little fun but it doesn’t run my life. i don’t think i’ll ever be considered a “wedding person.”
besides, dreaming about my wedding when i was little? yeah right. i was a tomboy growing up. you practically had to sedate me to get me into a dress!
what you said is very true - i always thought i would be happy to have someone else plan my wedding. until i actually started planning, i could not have cared less about linens, lighting, themes, cardstock and everything else. its only when i got engaged that i started researching and planning. and i KNEW that i was going to get married to my husband for like 2 years before we got engaged too!
I came across Wedding Bee a few months ago. I really enjoy it, but it is as close as I care to get to the Wedding Industrial Complex. In fact, there are entries that I won’t even go near because reading them would likely make me feel conflicted. I am not having letterpress invitations, or floral centerpieces, or a designer dress, favors, bridesmaids, or even a rehearsal dinner… all things that *most* wedding-related media (TV, magazines, websites) present as Must-Haves for your wedding to be The Best Day of Your Life. I don’t subscribe to this view. It’s just not for me. But even I in my steely resolve can’t help but succumb once in a while to the overwhelming message that if I don’t match my Thank You cards to my invitations, my wedding won’t mean as much. (Don’t worry, it’s usually a temporary lapse in judgement that I get over pretty quickly!)
You couldn’t pay me to frequent the Knot boards. They do not speak to me at all… in fact, most of the sentiments on there actually contradict the things I am trying to stay focused on for my wedding. And maybe that’s a big fat stereotype, and I am willing to concede that because I have only visited my local board (Boston) I can’t say diddly about other Knot boards… but this is my experience of it. And it’s my perception that the Knot really does hold the monopoly over online wedding resources.
So after that long diatribe, my short answer is: Nope. Not a wedding person. Never started thinking about the wedding till a few months after getting engaged. I did not spend my youth fantasizing about dresses and colors and such. But we’re planning our wedding now, and I come here for ideas and inspiration, and I would love to see more bloggers like Ms. Broccoli talk about how they’re negotiating personal decisions that go against the grain, because as a bride-to-be, I find myself more often than not in that position.
Hi Mrs. Bee! I’m not sure if you remember me, but as you know I’ve been addicted to weddingbee since I was in high school! I am currently a first year in college and I think my dream internship would be one in the wedding industry! I love thinking about what I want my wedding to be like. Although, a friend of mine once said to me “you know, girls that are obsessed with this kind of stuff ironically never get married” oh no!
Christina
Have you dreamt about your wedding day since you were a little girl? Absolutely, since Father of the Bride! It seriously was the catalyst and ever celebrity wedding thereafter was a secondary obsession. I didn’t ever plan my own or clip anything I like (save a ring from Tiffany…hmmmm…may be the wedding band…).
Did you become a wedding person after you got engaged? Once I was engaged I finally felt it was okay (and wouldn’t be alarming to the significant other!) to buy the magazines and planners, which I did with my mom the VERY next day. I love weddings so much I nearly became a PR person/planner, and everyone thought it was already planned, but they would be wrong. 
i never had any thoughts/visions/ideas about what my wedding would be like growing up.
even now during my wedding planning process, i still consider envisioning and planning out details for the wedding tedious and taxing. While I buy wedding magazines, visit vendors, and read weddingbee religiously, my general approach has been to get things done as fast and as economical as possible.
I’d much much rather have someone plan everything for me, but we can’t afford a wedding planner.
I wonder where little girls get the idea about fancy weddings from. When I was growing up, the most important things were my friends and my toys. Getting married… to a BOY.. did not even cross my mind. I never liked wearing dresses anyway.
My thoughts on wedding planning now? It’s like planning a party, so why does the word Wedding send all the ladies into a buying frenzy? Must you have monogrammed coasters that will get thrown away? Must you have a “bridal” tissue paper for blowing your nose? It’s all very silly to me, but I still do love a good party and that’s all I’m focusing on. Have food and friends, will party. Easy peasy!
Jaycee asked, “I wonder where little girls get the idea about fancy weddings from?”
I know what the answer is for me: Princess Diana.
One of my earliest memories (we’re talking 3-ish) is of watching Princess Di’s wedding to Charles. I think my babysitter had it on tape.
i’m not engaged and i have not been dreaming about “my wedding” since i was 5. i however, love to plan things and the thought of weddings are a great outlet for me to work out my creative muscles. wedding websites and dreaming up weddings for me are more of a hobby based on personal interests and that is why i’m here.
personally, i can understand that to some people, weddings are just a chore but that doesn’t mean that they want to be married any less. i’ve known many people that while being very detailed wedding planners, opt to have something low key when it comes to their personal day.. how many detailed b2bs have wanted to jump ship and elope in the last minute anyway? its a matter of preference, and for a lot of these brides to be, their wedding is a symbolic event, and the details and planning isn’t that exciting for them. to each their own… i just wish everyone could be respectful of that. there are always appropriate ways to express your differing opinions in a respectful manner… and unfortunately, some people haven’t learned that common courtesy.
I’m not even engaged yet! But I am a wedding photographer - so I breathe weddings.
I have been imagining about weddings since I was five. I honestly don’t know what started it… probably watching tv shows and seeing all the loveliness of it all.. I only remember attending one wedding when I was a child - and the only thing I remember about it was that my parents met me stand on the pew cause I couldn’t see.
Growing up, I loved watching weddings and being in weddings though, the joy, the festiveness, and me, being the type to “eat with my eyes” I ate it all up. I love them and I always will, I think!
when i started planning my wedding, i wished i was one of those girls who dreamed about her wedding day since she was 4… but that’s because i’m the type to have lots of things i like but hard to pick out the things i love! so when it came time to put together my “perfect” wedding, i feel like i didn’t have enough time/ resources… i really wish weddingbee existed many years ago =P then i feel like i could have gathered many great ideas and have a better idea for what i want! but then again, maybe it would have made no difference. ^_^
i thought i was a wedding person… but maybe not. haha. i realize i enjoy helping others with their wedding more than mine. maybe bc then i don’t have to be as budget conscious??
I actually never thought I’d be ready for marriage until Mr. Violet proposed. In addition, I’ve never been a “wedding” type person either… never looked at dresses or wed. zines either. But that changed once I got engaged. Just a little. Wedding planning is a lot of work and I certainly am not going to have a half-assed wedding, but that doesn’t mean that I’m obsessed. I do what I think I need to do and try to skimp where I can and splurge where is needed.. but overall i’m happy to be engaged and excited to be Mrs. Violet!
I didn’t dream of my wedding date since I was a little girl. I started when we talked about marriage and after the proposal.
i always thought about my dream wedding pre-engagement…but now that i am actually in the process, i am over the whole wedding planning hoopla and starting to cherish more the life that will come after the big day.
I didn’t give a thought to my wedding until my fiancÆ’© and I started talking about getting married. Even then we didn’t really start planning for about 5 months after we got engaged. It was interesting and frustrating at the same time as I had to do tons of research to come to a decision about what I liked or didn’t like. But now, with less than 6 months to the wedding and most of the “big stuff” out of the way, I enjoy reading about other brides experiences. The little stuff is hard for me as I’m not very craft but feel like I have really good taste. I’m a bit too detailed focused, but I feel like if I’m going to decide to do something it should be lovely.
The weddingbee was brought to my attention a few months ago from a knot message board and I must admit, I check in a few times a day. I even toyed with the idea of applying to be a bee but thought I wouldn’t have the time to dedicate (still wishing I could).
woah i just read the posts and comments that you’re referring to and i guess i missed all the action! as long as it’s all fine now and everyone can breathe, let’s have a more peaceful weddingbee shall we? =)
i’ve never been into weddings as a teenager and even now as an adult, despite been recently engaged. i’m not even excited about planning it either!! i would so pay someone to take care of everything if i could because i don’t have the time or the energy to plan all that stuff out. this is why i’m going to leave most of the planning to my fiancee and i’m going to help HIM. LOL. i think it’s because i have no patience and planning in general gives me stress. yes, i’m one of those girls that’s never been interested in weddings so i can kind of understand broccoli’s position. =)
i’ve never thought about weddings until my good friend got engaged last year. then, all these people i was subscribed to on xanga got engaged. that’s when i caught the wedding fever! i started reading more wedding blogs and wedding magazines. i’ve started to gather ideas for my own wedding. this is actually going to be very helpful because i won’t feel completely overwhelmed and lost when i do plan my own wedding!
i wasn’t ever really a wedding person until a nice handful of my friends got engaged.
i helped one out here and there with her planning, so i ended up finding theknot.com, its messageboards, and mrs. bee’s blog online to help her out. i couldn’t bring myself to buy a magazine since i myself wasn’t engaged. at around that same time, mr. lime and i started talking engagement/marriage and a bunch of our friends started getting married. that is when the obsession began.
i have a love/hate relationship with planning my own, but i now love looking at wedding-related eye candy.
I do love weddings. My mom worked in fashion and I had to go to work with her when I was little. She kept me busy with Vogue magazines and sketching on scrap paper. Designers took me on outings for fabrics and treated me to ice cream. I started to save magazine clippings. It all started with Disney’s Cinderella I think. Then I saw a ¢¢â€š¬…”real¢¢â€š¬? princess¢¢â€š¬¦Princess Diana.
Having said that, weddings are such a small facet of my life (and will be over in 6 months). These blogs don’t fully represent who the writer is. As ¢¢â€š¬…”obsessed¢¢â€š¬? as I am with the wedding related tasks, it’s such a small fraction of what I do. If it wasn’t because I was blogging regularly, I would go for weeks without thinking/talking about my wedding. I went the opposite way¢¢â€š¬¦when we got engaged; I became disinterested in my wedding.
I blog because I have found a niche where other people ¢¢â€š¬…”like me¢¢â€š¬? can share their ideas and experiences. Weddingbee is a wonderful resource whether you’re a wedding person or not.
most definitely since i was a little girl. i guess bc aside from dreaming of becoming an actress. i have always been wanting and will be coming a wedding planner and coordinator. ask any of my friends - they’d vouch for me. im obsessed with details - even more so now that i am planning my wedding. despite the fact i’ve always dreamt of my dream wedding - that doesnt mean - i have had any sort of details or big fat binder of ideas nailed down before hand - mainly i think bc new and fresh ideas are always surfacing and to be learned. =)
I was never into weddings as a child, and I loved making fun of my mom for crying at weddings because “they’re not sad!” Hehe. But then in high school I would occasionally doodle a picture of a wedding dress (but never anything poofy) and when my mom let me try hers on once I kind of went “ooooh!” I also always knew where I would get married, since EVERYONE in my family gets married at my family’s summer house which has always been my favorite place in the world, so thinking of having all my friends finally get to go up and see it has always been appealing. As for the real wedding-y stuff though, I didn’t really catch it until a year or so before we got engaged when we started seriously talking about “when” we get married. When I went to a friend’s wedding I was SHOCKED to realize that III was crying at a wedding now too! Haha. I started reading the knot (info pages not messageboards) a lot pre-engagement but refused to actually BUY anything wedding related until it was official. Now I’ve gone craaazyyy, but I too go through phases where I just don’t think much about it for a while, and am trying not to get sucked into random unnecessary details. (EXCEPT PERSONALIZED RIBBON. I REALLY REALLY NEEDED THAT.) Now my wedding obsession is more about thinking of how they’ll be spending the rest of their lives together! And then I cry like a baby
I was so not into weddings. Ever. A friend of mine got engaged about 6 months before me and all she could talk about was “wedding this, photographer that, flowers this, venue that”. I told my then boyfriend that she was exhasting, boring, and self-involved. Then I got engaged. She called me and said “oh- I’m so excited that we are engaged at the same time, now we can talk all about the planning and details!!” I was like, “what has she been doing till now?!?” Then she sent me the link to this blog and I told my fiancee “she’s rediculous and definitely has too much time on her hands. She said she checks that blog SEVERAL times a day!” But then, I startred calling her when I needed price comparisons or flower ideas or vendor info and she kept saying “go check out that blog- they always talk about that stuff!” more and more I got into the details, and now, 5 months AFTER my wedding, i still check this site pretty much daily. I love the crafts and ideas, and I like posting when I think my perspective offers some interesting variety to the posts.
I never thought I would get married. I never once dreamed about my wedding. The obsession did start once we were engaged. Once Mr. MS went to get his glasses fixed, I went shopping at a bookstore. I was suppose to go get a gift and meet him back at the car. Instead he came into the bookstore because I was taking too long. He found me in the wedding section. It has been less lately, but I feel an upswing since I went an looked at dresses last weekend.
I never really gave my wedding a thought as a child beyond the “i’m getting married in a church because that’s what everyone does and i’m going to wear a white dress…” (mind you, i grew up in iowa & church weddings with indoor receptions were the norm)
even now, i’m fairly relaxed about the wedding. while i care, i also am willing to let others do some legwork for me. like my aunt found my florist….and my baker….and my photographer… i’m really just trying to not be the “bridezilla” that we are all afraid of being.
i love weddingbee! i’ve been a follower since the original bee blog and can’t imagine not reading about all of this! you guys have given me more ideas and inspirations than any other place online or in magazines. i’ve recommended it to all my friends and cousins. they read this as much as i do. we call and ask if we’ve seen such-and-such or say ” weddingbee has an idea you’d like”
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