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Yesterday Mr. Kiwi and I each got magazine order forms from his “niece,” or actually his sister who is my MOH. She wants us to order some magazines so her daughter can get a prize. 
As much as I’d love to subscribe to bridal mags, by the time they would finally come it will be past the wedding already!
As I’ve blogged before, my MOH is really more of a hands-off wedding party member. While I’d love to be able to share this with her, she seems to have other things of importance. That’s all fine, but the woman could at least get me her measurements!
Anyway, I am so thinking of just slipping in a picture with the BM dress I want her to get, and a note saying “Let me know your measurements - and THEN I’ll buy some magazines!”
Okay, I’m kidding. Partially. Would it be rude of me to send her a newsletter or package of the places and things I’d like to go/do before the wedding? Possibly include some pictures of the dresses she might like?
Have you tried any tricks, incentives or other methods to get your bridal party into action?
I had a measuring tape in hand, went over to my BM’s apt and said COME HERE! lol
I kindly ask when they are available. They tell me. Then I say, Well, I would like to do this, would you like to come? I break up the duties/errons. One BM for this. MOH for that another week. We usually go out for lunch and to the mall.
The attitude that has worked best for me is not to assign duties to those who are “supposed” to do certain things. I ask each girl to do things that I know she would most like doing.
If your technical MOH is not the most responsible or self-motivated individual that’s OK, ask your other girls to help organize your events. Passive aggressive hinting is futile. If you ask her outright to plan something, and she’s not, do it yourself with your other maid’s help.
You’ll be a lot less frustrated if you just find the best way to get things done and less time trying to make someone be something they’re not (i.e. selfless or responsible.)
(Also I tell them a lot how much I appreciate them and how much their help means to me, no matter how much of their time they give to me.)
i don’t know if i can offer much help with the duties part, but for the dress you should definitely broach the subject. let her know the dresses you have in mind and get her measurements or what have you. you can’t always depend on the bms to be forthcoming with help and may have to nudge them a bit. good luck!
Most of my BMs are sweet and volunteer to help out, but to keep everyone on the same page, I added To Do Lists to their BM newsletters. I had a column of things that I needed them to do as well as a list of things that I might need help with. They all liked it because it helped them see what was coming.
I don’t think it’s rude at all. I certainly think that the promise of a magazine order would set a fire under her a$$ and if it didn’t I would certainly think twice about asking her to do anything else. of course your wedding is a bigger priority to you than to anyone else but to ask someone for measurements and have her respond with a “buy a mag from my kid so they can win a prize” is downright rude. i wonder if the table were reversed how she would feel?
i used my bridesmaid newsletter to set deadlines for everyone to send me measurements and other info i would need from them (ie. when they would be in town). they are coming from several different states so there was no way i would be taking them to get measured at once. i was specific in telling them what they needed to get measured b/c most of them have never been in a wedding before.
Maybe you could say something along the lines of “Thanks for letting me know about the magazines. What is the deadline to order? Speaking of deadlines, I really need your measurements. Can we get together soon so we can exchange the information we each need from each other?
lol tell them to get it down NOW or else you’ll beat them up :-p
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Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA Engagement Date: March 31, 2006 Wedding Date: November 3, 2007 Venue: Radisson Hotel About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
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