Weddingbee Blog

I knew so little before I started reading the weddingbee.com! Lol! I didn’t know what STD was either (I still feel icky writing it because it sounds like the disease!) And all these books, magazines, blogs, etc have definitely raised the bar for brides. But as a bride myself, I don’t believe that I’ve gone overboard. There are a few things I would do but not everything I’ve seen other brides do. As with anything, you have to make it your own and not worry too much about what others are doing.

i’m like miss violet, i only knew a small handful of stuff before i started reading weddingbee. but i do think the bar is being raised…but it’s up to the bride and groom to pick and choose what they want. you don’t have to go for everything, despite what the industry insiders will tell you.

while i’m not officially engaged yet, i am looking for little [read: practical] ways to differentiate our wedding, not because i have to be better, but because i always have to do things differently than everyone else in everything. i can’t have just a peanut butter sandwich. oh no, i have to have nutella with it just because i can. lol. so obviously that thinking has been very present in the planning.

I think I’ve commented before about how I believe it started with Father of the Bride–they put the bar up there and when it was revealed that (I think, if my memory serves me) that Frank Egglehoffer was supposed to be a hyperbole of Colin Cowie, CC became a household name thanks to Oprah and the Today show, etc.

I would add, as I think someone said above, that The Knot and the crazy wedding industry really do capitalize on brides and the idea that they need to keep up. Who had heard of OOT baskets or bathroom baskets before The Knot or magazines?

I am so guilty, just as guilty as the next, for succombing to this pressure to keep up and even then “up the bar” for my circle! Every bride just wants to be unique, classic, and beautiful and in that effort we’ve all contributed to this crazy industry.

I think there’s def. a lot more pressure today. I must admit, I did get caught up in all of it when I first got engaged. Now I’m just focused on planning a simple wedding where everyone will have fun…none of that extra stuff we don’t need…..

What I’m surprised at isn’t all the extras there are now days that have “raised the bar” (STD, OOT bags, cocktail lounge sofas etc), it’s that even without ANY of those xtras the wedding is STILL so expensive. I’m not a froo-froo sort of girl so all those things like aisle runners and tiaras aren’t apart of my wedding anyway and I actually don’t feel pressured to have any of them, but just for a nice meal for 75-100 people in a nice atmosphere it’s still thousands of dollars.

The bar has only been raised between brides. The only other people who care about the little details are other brides. Your family and friends don’t care about that stuff. They care about the food, having a good time (music, alcohol), and, most importantly, how in love the bride and groom are!!!

So the bar has not been raised in the eyes of your guests. If it has, and they expect a more impressive wedding just because the wedding industry says so… then maybe those friends should be reconsidered.

Miss Snow Pea,

I think my “bridal luncheon” will be me ordering in food the day of the wedding while we’re all getting our hair and makeup done. That way, it takes care of the something-special-for-the-girls-as-thanks and the simple fact that we’ll need to eat - all at once! It’s not going to be spectacular or pricey, just lunch and a chance to give them their little gifts.

Don’t let formal titles like a “bridal luncheon” scare you into thinking it’s got to be an EVENT.

Wow, I’m so glad that this has been brought up and that many people feel the same way. Like Mrs. Bee and some other followers of Weddingbee, I didn’t know that any of those things existed until stumbling upon Weddingbee! (What the heck is a STD for, isn’t that the whole point of the invite…to tell you about the time/date of the event?!) As I am not engaged, I started feeling this pressure of having to conform to what’s “supposed” to be in a wedding and it started to freak me out because I’m already in my mid-20s and I haven’t even really begun a career and have barely saved any money. I always think, “It’s going to take me another 5 years to have money saved for a wedding!”

But recently, I have sat back and realized that a lot of these minor details don’t really matter. I’m sure some people have mentioned before, planning a wedding really isn’t any different from planning a birthday party. And there are probably many more milestones in life that deserve a bigger celebration than a wedding. (Not to say getting married isn’t important, but what about graduations and the like?)

Once in a while though, I still fall into the trap of fawning over pretty things that I hope one day I can include in my wedding. =P I love Weddingbee!!

i think that the way weddings are today is absolutely CRAZY. i just got married in october and we had 60 people, no wedding party, no bachelor/bachelorette party, no bridal shower(s) (by the way what is UP with women having 4 or 5 showers?), no favors, no out of town baskets, no save the dates, no wedding cake (dessert buffet), no garter toss, no DIY projects, no programs, etc. etc. etc. - my husband and i just wanted to be married, have an intimate party, and be in love… we had an AMAZING wedding…MANY MANY people were FURIOUS that we decided to have such a low key affair, as if there was something wrong with us for not having 400+ and all of the extra added frills people THINK you’re supposed to have… but then after the wedding everyone commented on how wonderful it was that the focus was on our marriage… just something to keep in mind that going against the TIDAL WAVE of wedding madness is extremely difficult but the success of your marriage has nothing to do with how much money, time and effort you spend on your wedding - put that time and effort in your relationship instead!!!

We’re really working hard to make our wedding “us”. Over the past year we’ve attended a lot of weddings that were sub-par and had elements we didn’t enjoy. This wedding will be for us and a celebration of us. Some of the things we want to include but a lot of the things we don’t like the traditional things. I’m just glad we agree on the things to keep and the things to get rid of!