Let it Be- Settled

March 20th, 2007 @ 12:41 pm by Mrs. Kiwi

Yesterday we had our meeting with the Father. And… we’re going to be getting married in the church after all. I was given a book called “How to Survive Marrying a Catholic.” Seriously, they GAVE it me. Not only does Mr. Kiwi get to be the only family member to be married in the family’s parish church, but we even managed to get the Father to marry us earlier than the 11am usual.

As you all know, I was very nervous. In fact, my stomach was in knots. We were asked many questions, mostly about ourselves, and why we’re choosing to marry the other person. I must say, it was very nice to know why Mr. Kiwi wanted to marry me, even though I’ve never doubted it. When he said that I was the only person who makes him feel at home, I melted.

I think a big part of why I was nervous was my fear of being judged. Yes, this was incredibly silly, but nevertheless, I felt that way. Once we sat down and really discussed what we were there for, I felt increasingly at ease. We spoke of my lack of religion and why I would like to marry in the Catholic Church. He reminded me many times about how I don’t need to convert to marry there.

So now I need to read more in my “How to Survive Marrying a Catholic” and cancel the tent with our reception venue. I also need to choose readings and who to read them. I am so new to this. Some of my worries include studying up on the ceremony, my nonreligious family reacting to the ceremony, the music the organist will play… So, any advice for a newbie??

Tidbit: parts of the movie Million Dollar Baby was filmed in this church. Sweet.

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10 Responses to “Let it Be- Settled”

Guest

Aliya

Miss Kiwi, I am also a non-Catholic marrying a Catholic in a church. In Wisconsin (where we’re getting married), priests give couples a book called “Together for Life.” The point of this book is to help you on a “journey of prayerful reflection as you plan your wedding ceremony.” Take that how you will. But what I found most helpful is that it outlines the ceremony for you (i.e. pick this type of reading for this, you can have x or y after that, here’s when z happens, etc.) and suggests passages. You can have any passages you want from the Bible, but at least this gets you started.

Hope this is in someway helpful…I feel ya, sister.

3/20/07 @ 1:50 pm (reply)

Guest

Miss Snow Pea

Miss Kiwi,
I am glad to hear it went well. Just as I thought. I don’t have any suggestions. I won’t know until I start getting into it myself. We’re doing precana next and then meeting with the Deacon again after that. When Mr. Snow Pea’s aunt asked me how it went. I answer, oh great, they gave me a pamphlet on marriage. She laughed. Do you have to do precana?

3/20/07 @ 2:04 pm (reply)

Guest

Joy

Wow. I have felt like the only non-Catholic girl marrying a Catholic boy. It has felt so unusual to get married in the groom’s church. My FI is doing all the church scheduling, but the secretaries always call me back to confirm everything–like they’re not used to dealing with the groom. I was so nervous to go through the marriage prep (I thought I would be bombarded with religious questions), but … mostly they wanted to see two people committed to the marriage.

3/20/07 @ 2:14 pm (reply)

Guest

Miss Kiwi

Aliya, we also got the book “Together for Life” Interesting. It’s hard to choose the passages, ya know?

Miss Snow Pea, yeah, it went well! I was still shaking when I got home from it, though. Nerves.

What is precana? We DO have to do an “Engaged Encounters” day- 8:45am-5pm. on a Saturday.

Like everyone else said, our photographer has to check ahead where she can photograph, and the organist is non-negotiable. That’s cool, though. An ORGANIST!! And… we’re probably going to use the school’s choir. I’m excited about that.

3/20/07 @ 2:15 pm (reply)

Guest

Iris

Miss Kiwi: You got off EASY. We had to do a whole pre-cana “Engaged Encounter” weekend at a convent! It was fun and we got a lot out of it… but if they tell you that you have to have a roommate (i.e., some other bride; it won’t be your fiance) say that you snore, and you get your own room, hee hee.

3/20/07 @ 4:00 pm (reply)

Guest

Iris

Keep track of the church-related wedding expenses… you can get a tax write-off for all those checks written to a church.

3/20/07 @ 4:01 pm (reply)

Guest

Iris

Pre-Cana just means pre-marital. (Cana is the town where there was a wedding where Jesus performed his first miracle — turning water into wine and then serving the good wine at the end of the wedding reception.) Needless to say, we LIKED this reading!

3/20/07 @ 4:04 pm (reply)

Guest

Iris

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_at_Cana

3/20/07 @ 4:05 pm (reply)

Guest

Julie

I would take a look at a few things with the readings.
1) The length. I loved 5 lines from one of the verses and then 2 at the end. 7 lines will be so much more meaningful (and shorter!) than the 30+ that were there already
2) sex. Some of the verses like to talk about sex and in front of family…awkward!
3) male/female roles. I don’t want verses that make it sound like I’m just there to please my husband.
4) the meaning. I want them to be important to us.
5) the reader. Would you prefer a priest, deacon or family member read?

3/20/07 @ 4:23 pm (reply)

10.

Guest

Courtney

The Knot bio Catholic_Bride has TONS of info on Catholic weddings. I am in the process of converting to Catholicism, since my FI is Catholic, and I LOVE it!

If you have any specific questions, you can e-mail me at luckyblues12@yahoo.com. I would be happy to help you out.

3/20/07 @ 7:43 pm (reply)