Wedding Blog
It’s been a little over a year since we’ve been engaged and I’m a really blessed girl. I’ve got a great fiance, great friends and my family is numero uno. In the beginning of wedding planning, I was OCD about everything - I must have this done now, I need to do that soon etc… I thought I had things under control but in reality I felt like I was falling apart.
I had some people complain to me about not being involved with the wedding and guilt tripping me… which I could handle at first. Then I had some people who wanted to invite their in laws to the wedding (whom I’ve never met) and I thought I was going nuts! I was so overwhelmed with people telling me what I should or shouldn’t be doing, or what people didn’t like about the location or whatever else…. I ended up getting really upset and fell apart and cried.
So I stopped writing on Weddingbee not because I didn’t want to share our wedding planning, but because I was really stressed and put most of the wedding planning aside. I wanted the focus to be off the details of the wedding and wanted to emphasize relationships. Instead of eagerly deciding what flowers or centerpieces I should have… I had our wedding party over for a wine tasting and it truly made me smile. Instead of racking my brain over the cost of the wedding, I had some friends come over for dinner and sure… we talked about the wedding but we just enjoyed each other’s company.
It’s been working. I feel like I’m more connected with my friends and much more happier. Although the stress is still there, I can handle it much better because I don’t feel like I’m at it alone. I admire you ladies who can plan everything down to the smallest things, and I wish I were that organized but I’m not. 
Now I’m looking forward to the wedding and getting back to the planning. Don’t worry most of the major details are worked out. So hopefully this means Miss Poppy will be back more often sharing my wedding planning with you.
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I just noticed that your reception site is Astoria World Manor, what other places did you look at in NYC and how did you decide on this one?
We decided on AWM because we had friends of friends who had their wedding there and they loved it. The location was good since it’s easy to get to by public transportation. The staff is really nice and informative and the room we have our reception in is beautiful. We used to live in Queens so it was a good location for us as well.
We looked at a few places in the city and the prices were all very expensive and we didn’t want to spend a fortune on the wedding. The price was nice, we get a wedding planner and the food, cake, favours are all included with the price at AWM. It made it really easy to decide since it includes a ton of things. Good luck Fallon!
I’m glad your having less issues with stress, I easily stress and I already forsee this being an issue so i’m working right now to make sure that the wedding doesn’t upset me while I’m planning because I want it to be a joyous time. Any suggestions on how to best keep from letting everything get to you. I have some really pushy relatives that I know are going to cause problems, but I honestly haven’t a clue what to do when those times come.
Hi Miss Poppy,
If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know. We’re here, even if it’s to lend an ear 
I actually went through the same thing although you wouldn’t know it because my blog just went live recently. On the flip side, I am so organized that people felt left out! Go figure. I do DIY projects to relax. I just had to put certain people at arms length until I was ready and able to deal with them again. Then I had to remember some of my close friends probably feel neglected. Between school and wedding planning, it’s just not easy. I too invite them over for dinner and just chit chat and ask them how they are doing and now yap about my wedding too much.
Huggs to you!
I’m glad you came up with a great solution to refocus and de-stress - it sounds like a really fun idea actually to have all our wedding party hang out together for an evening, we might do that too.
I totally relate to the stress you mentioned about having to please everyone. My first choice colour scheme was shot down by my mother and all 3 of my bridesmaids. My mother refuses to consider any venue that she didn’t think of herself, which sucks because she’s not the one who thought of the place I want to book. My mom in fact isn’t really supportive of any of the things that I envision, she wants to suck all the personality out of the wedding and just make everything fancy and “impressive” - which ends up being super bland and unmemorable. It’s driving me crazy. I don’t know how to explain to her that I need her to let up and let me make some decisions that she may not agree with.
Why do we sound so alike? I think I went through the same rut the same time you did, ha! I’ve since learned to relax more too. We just took a short weekend trip to Rhode Island, and next month we’re going to Virginia.
Glad you are back and doing well!
Aww…I’m sorry to hear that Miss Poppy! You are one of my favorite “bees”, probably because you always seem so positive about everything and truly appreciate what you have. (That story about your MIL totally got me! It was so cute!) I am glad things are going better for you now. It’s good to see your posts again!
thanks everyone for the support but it’s not really a sad story it’s more of a encouragement one. i know that wedding planning isn’t easy at all - but i thought i’d share my struggles along with my happiness! you all are so kind and so loving and i’m even more blessed to have all of you be so kind and understand!
I can totally understand! I love planning and planning… yet I started having terrible stomach problems and allll my doctors said I was too stressed. I refused to believe I was stressed– but now that I’ve found nothing wrong with my insides, I’m starting to believe that it’s true!
Even people who love to plan like me are getting signals from their bodies saying “help me! stop going crazy!” My mind is going faster than my body so I need to relax!
I have a massage appointment tomorrow morning.
i can see why you were so stressed out, it sounds like you had information overload and lots of pressure from everyone. i’m glad you’re back, fellow annie!
I’ve just recently gotten engaged but I’m a meeting and event planner so I’m way on top of things. Over the past year I’ve looked at what venues I like, what things I don’t like and traditions that detract from the end result. My FI and I have already discussed what we want and what we don’t want. Because of this I think my mom and his mom feel left out, but at the same time I don’t want to change things just to make them feel included in the planning. It should be a reflection and celebration of us, not of traditions.
Also since we’re really details oriented, the DIY projects that we are doing are going to be used as bonding for us rather than worry about getting upset at someone else for not doing it the way we’d want it done. I think this goes for a lot of what we’ve planned for that day, we’re both really picky about things and I don’t think our respective families understand that.
We’ll have to try some of the ideas you suggested though!
Thanks for sharing a topic that is somewhat swept over in the busy bride-to-be’s life, Miss Poppy! My boyfriend and I just picked out a ring a couple weeks ago (so no formal announcement has even been made yet) and I am already having trouble sleeping because my mind is racing about everything I want to do or decide about our wedding (which is like, a year away)!! I’ve had to stop reading about weddings at least an hour before bed, but between work, school work, changing careers, boyfriend in school- I wonder how it will get done! I hope once I can share the news and involve my friends I will be less stressed about the decisions to make. Like you’ve found, I think it is crucial to remember WHY all this is being done, and spend time w/ friends and family.
again you ladies are wonderful and I’m proud that weddingbee is a community that supports and cares for one another. I’m feeling great and things have been wonderful Hope it is on your corner also! xo
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Mrs. Poppy, New York
Age and Occupation: 27, PhD Student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, High End Retail General Manager
Engagement Date: February 25, 2006
Wedding Date: July 2007
Venue: Astoria World Manor, Queens, New York
About Me: I'm a graduate student majoring in Piano Performance. I love knitting, crochet, cooking and learning languages ( I know six so far!). You can find me at your local karaoke bar, yarn shops, sheet music store or any store with Hello Kitty!
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