Weddingbee Blog

This was our perfect excuse not to buy any flowers to decorate the church. It was such a big ornate place anyway that, guess what, NO ONE even NOTICED. So skip it. Let the other bride worry her little head off. You can make the bouquets that much prettier with the extra budget, and march right out with them.

There MIGHT be a distinction between altar flowers (well, not ON the altar, but up front near the altar) and foyer flowers. So consider where you place them; maybe you can take out the foyer flowers.

We also skipped presenting the bride’s bouquet to the Virgin Mary (in case Mary wanted to keep it, because it just wouldn’t be polite to take it back???). Actually I didn’t really get the theology of this tradition (can you tell?) and didn’t feel genuine about it.

I would definitely try to split the costs if you could - but I’m of the mindset right now that I’d take any chance of saving $ that I could! My church only schedules one wedding per weekend, otherwise I’d probably look into that myself.

If they won’t give you the other couple’s phone number, maybe you could ask the secretary (or whoever you usually deal with) to ask them about their floral plans and color scheme. If I was in that situation and asked about splitting the costs, I’d go for it. Assuming of course that the color schemes are compatible; otherwise I’d do my own thing. But point being, I’d definitely look into the option to see if it’s a possibility, b/c you can always use that saved money elsewhere - maybe for more reception flowers since you can’t take the ceremony ones.

I was in the same boat! I agonized about this for a few weeks and then decided to nix the ceremony flowers all together. We are getting married at a really modern cathedral and decided to just let the space and architecure speak for itself, and throw more money into our reception florals.

I actually shared my gazebo decorations with the wedding after ours. We had the same florist so we just split the cost of the arrangements we were both using and then paid for anything we wanted besides that. Worked out great! Don’t know how you would get the other bride’s # though if the church won’t give it to you.

I am really shocked to hear so many people have run into this issue. Is this just with Catholic churches or Christian churches as well? None of the churches we looked at had this policy.

Its not mandatory at our church, but when people do leave flowers, our church coordinators give all the moveable bouquets to local church members and others in the local “home.” Maybe they do that and you can feel better about leaving them? If they do that you may feel better about the deduction too - that would definately mean you passed them on while they were only “slightly used.” Just flat out ask the church what they are going to do with them.

Also, I don’t know the exact requirements of the brides bouquet to Mary, but the last wedding I was at they just presented her with a white rose. Much cheaper.

ummmmm that’s required at my church too….. i dont feel too bad about it - whats the big deal?

I think that’s required at my church too - but we’ve decided not to have flowers at the church because it’s such a pretty space that the flowers wouldn’t make an impact, really. I’m glad to hear others are skipping the ceremony decoration flowers too - I wondered if people would notice and think it was strange. But, if the 3pm people leave them (our is a later wedding) I need to have someone checking to make sure they look good - or move them for our ceremony. Glad to hear we’re not along in this!

Churches are so gorgeous that honestly I’ve never noticed them at the weddings we’ve been. The Deacon at our church actually told us not to bother with flowers because it would waste our money. I love him. He’s a very practical man. He added, if you want to do flowers, then they become a gift to the church. I can understand that though. The church is a place of religion ONE, before it’s a place or some “venue” to be married at. So any flowers you bring in, is seen as a gift. He also said that there are “ladies” who decorate the church each week with flowers of the season, so there’s no need for you to buy any. Miss Kiwi, see if your church already has flowers?

I agree with Dos - This is not a religious issue.

We went with simple white flowers and the candlabras were provided by the church… the space didn’t need much and our officiant even mentioned that he preferred simple touches rather than extravagant displays. I don’t think the church would just “toss them”.
Also, are you planning on taking the flowers from the church to reception and then to your house? Either way, they’ll only last for the night - right?