Wedding Blog
Hi,
If you are having a Friday late afternoon/early evening ceremony (5pm), how much of a faux-pas is it to have light hors d’oevres and “cocktail” food reception? I am trying to figure out ways to cut costs, and most weddings I have been to, the grand cocktail hour was practically enough food to fill you up alone because they had carving stations, appetizers, pasta bar, caviar stations and the actual sit-down dinner has been mediocre / half-eaten at best.
I’m wondering if I can have light refreshments during the cocktail hour and then have all the grand “cocktail” stations in my main reception. We just wanted to make the reception less formal and more fun/relaxed since that is always our approach to things. That way everyone can mingle and dance. (Honestly, our style would be an outdoor picnic - if only we could make BBQ picnic sound and feel more elegant.)
Do you think guests will be appalled or disappointed or disgruntled about not having a full-on 3 course sit-down dinner for a late reception (starts at 7pm)?
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I think it’s ok. We just had our wedding and a lot of guests thought the cocktail hour was the dinner because there was so much food.
As long as you have an abundance of food I think it will be fine.
I’m doing the same thing. my wedding is at 5:30 and we are doing hors d’oevres at several stations. I’ve thought of adding “An hors d’oevres reception will follow the ceremony..” or something like that to the invitation so people are aware. But I agree that as long as there is enough food, it should be fine!
the last wedding i attended had a crazy cocktail hour, and honestly i was way too full to eat the dinner. cocktail hour is my favorite part anyway, and as long as there is a lot of food, i think you’ll be fine.
I think it will be fine. I personally like all the little stations much more than a sit down meal. Do it whatever way you want. I don’t think your guests will be upset at all.
It depends on whether or not you’ll have enough food to sate people’s appetites. If it’s simply a matter of having carving stations vs. sit-down service, I would say it’s fine. But if you’ll be having only light hors d’oeuvres, I would avoid a dinner-time reception. However, if you do goes this route, your invitation should say indicate that “light refreshments” will be served at the reception, so people get the hint and eat dinner beforehand.
I just went to an evening wedding that had the most amazing heavy hors’ deurves and a seated dinner that I could have gone without. In fact the other guests at my table felt the same way. So as long as the hors’ deurves are plentiful and very, very good I think you can get away with it.
I think it’s a great idea. Just make sure you let people know that there is no sit down dinner. Otherwise, some people might exercise restraint on the hors d’oeuvres so as to save room for dinner.
I think it’s fine, but make sure you note it on the invitation somewhere so people have advance notice and plan accordingly if they have exceptionally large appetites!
We’re doing what I call “fancy buffet.”
We’ll have a cocktail hour with the traditional crab puffs or whatever passed, but dinner is actually going to involve two different carving stations, pasta bar, sushi bar, salads, etc. And instead of doing a seating chart, once we go into the main reception area from the cocktail area, the food will be out and ready to go, with tables available for people who want to sit and eat.
FH is from the south, and this is how all the weddings are down there - so it will be interesting to see how it translates to the north!
That’s a great good idea! I always love cocktail hours and I get too full and end up not really eating any of the real dinner. I wouldn’t mind going to a cocktail hour and being able to stay there and try everything 
I think it’s more intimate too that way. People can flow around and mingle.
It depends on where you are from. I live in the south and stations and buffets are the norm. That being said, stations and buffets are not only appetizers, but include pasta stations, carving stations, grits and mashed potato bars (wahoo- I love the south) and more. So long as you are providing a full meal for your guests don’t worry. Talk to your caterer and they should help you decide how much food you will need. They should be able to steer you in the right direction.
I also live in the South–and seated dinners are not big here.
I like your idea of lighter food at the cocktail hour, and a variety of “heavier” food stations for the dinner.
I am sure it will be great!
I think this would be so much fun, ALTHOUGH, I’m not sure how much cheaper this would be if you are trying to keep down the costs?? When I talked to my venue about stations, they said that would be more expensive than the sit down dinner.
Good call Miss Emerald — oftentimes, stations end up being MORE expensive. Since this would be in lieu of a traditional seated dinner, as others have said before me, you would need to have heavy appetizers (carving stations, pasta bar, potato bar, etc.). However, if this is something that is cost beneficial to you, it sounds like a lot of fun and I wouldn’t be afraid to do it!
i’ve heard the same thing as miss emerald since they typically have to make more of the food to have enough to be filling. my best friend wanted to have a tapas style reception but was told it’d be more expensive than a dinner. you may want to check with your caterer.
if you’re going with real light refreshments or hor d’oevres, you can easily state that on your invites as a heads up to your guests so they don’t come expecting to be fed.
The reason that hor d’oevres tend to be more expensive than sit down dinners is that caterers make more food than is necessary in either a tray passed or station/buffet situation. Often a lot of food goes wasted in these situations. In a seated meal dinner, they know exactley how much to make of everything and can order food accordingly. If in an hor d’ourves buffet the lobster cream puffs go in the first two minutes, they need to keep repleneshing them with extra food they’ve ordered. I’d price out both and see how it goes!
As long as everyone is full and doesn’t have to chase down the food as it strolls around the room, people should be pretty happy. But if there are a lot of kids or old folks, might be nice to make sure there are some tables & chairs handy and ensure the staff covers them.
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