Bonding With the MOG
March 28th, 2007 @ 10:01 am by Mrs. Snow Pea
It’s a common stereotype that mother in laws are a dreaded species. I have heard some horror stories and I have heard some wonderful stories. Being a woman myself and future mother someday, I would hate to think that someday some girl out there will be thinking badly of me. But I am thankful Future Mother Snow Pea gave me Mr. Snow Pea, so I take everything with a grain of salt and just remind myself that my mother is probably annoying to Mr. Snow Pea. 
I think mothers and sons have a very different relationship than mothers and daughters. It can’t be easy for future mother snow pea with me being so particular and on top of the wedding planning. But lately, future mother snow pea and I have finally found something we have in common. I have been gardening for the first time, and asking her for gardening advice. It’s always helpful to have someone show you or tell you how to do something. Although I have been reading about gardening online, I knew asking future mother snow pea would make her feel special. Mothers like that kinda stuff. 
How do you bond with your future mother in law or in laws?
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7 Responses to “Bonding With the MOG”
my MIL is just awesome…she’s just like my mom so it helps
as for my mama she’s Korean and my fiance is white and they speak through me so only hear good things about each other hehe
I love my future MIL…she’s great. She has two sons, so I like to think that she enjoys having a little girliness (me and my future SIL) in her life! We have very different backgrounds so SOMTIMES things are “lost in translation” but overall I have a good relationship w/both her and my future FIL.
I’m learning to cook from my FMIL. She’s an amazing cook and I’ve already learned the holy grail of her cooking, the gnocchi!
I’m very happy to have her as my MIL. We bonded over my SIL’s crazy DIEE (Do It Everyone Else!) wedding when we had to drive over an hour to pick up a projector screen and run around the local Walmart buying toilet paper and cups.
My future mother-in-law died this past Thanksgiving from inflammatory breast cancer. I’m so very, very sorry that I didn’t get a chance to know her better or have her as my mother-in-law. I am glad though that we got engaged three weeks before she passed, as I know she was happy about the engagement. On the day that she died, she was not really conscious, but I sat with my fiance at her bedside, trying to let her know that I would be there to take care of her eldest son. At her funeral, when I introduced myself to her friends, they all said, “Oh, we know who *you* are” and then they’d hug me. I’m getting teary just writing this. I had no idea that she had been telling all her friends wonderful things about me since before she became ill. It’s so sad, she was only 62 years old. Inflammatory breast cancer is a terrible disease–it’s not like most other breast cancers. Most women don’t know they have it until it’s Stage III, which was the case with Joan. She went downhill fast and died only a few months after diagnosis. We’re not religious people, but we’re going to honor her in several ways during the wedding, one being a moment of silence during the ceremony when we remember her. Another is that instead of favors we’re donating money to inflammatory breast cancer research. We don’t want it to be a sad day, but we do want her to be remembered.
Almost everyone sounds like they are having my dream of a FMIL! I so wanted to like her immediately and have her like me! I think she likes me because I make her son happy, but she does very strange stuff (I think). She will tell my FI that she is going to call me (and get my phone number from him) to discuss the rehearsal dinner but then after 3 months she calls my mom and asks her the questions. My mom is helping, but not running this (as most of us on the website are) so she has to say she doesn’t know and call me. FMIL still won’t call me. I don’t get it!
Anyway, now I have given up because I am so frustrated and am leaving the entire rehearsal dinner to my FI. How do I tell her that she should talk to him about it and not me without it being super obvious that I “quit” because of her? The problem is I will be at their house this Friday for a full day before my FI comes there so this could easily come up before he has a chance to talk to her in person. I can’t very well say I don’t want to talk about it…can I?
My biggest question really is: can I possibly be that scary? Why can’t she just talk to me? Why can’t she just like me? I feel like a little kid again who can’t make friends with the cool kids. 
they live abroad so we have very few opportunities to bond. but i’m hoping that they move back to the states (somewhere nearby) sometime this year.
Mrs. Snow Pea, New York
Age and Occupation: 26, Architectural Engineer and student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Web Designer
Engagement Date: July 4, 2005
Wedding Date: August 18, 2007
About Me: I am a DIY gal. From cooking, home improvements to wedding. Mr. Snow Pea and I met in college, and since then we've been like peas and carrots! Love cooking, traveling, and fishing.
My future In-Laws are Portuguese, with my future MIL speaking only Portuguese and a bit of broken English - so, I am learning Portuguese! I’ts pretty difficult, but they are super-chuffed about it. :0)