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Next weekend, Mr. Bluebell and I are doing something we should have done a looooong time ago… introducing our parents. While my parents have visited New York a number of times in the four and a half years that we’ve been together, and Mr. Bluebell’s parents live here, my parents almost always bring their (& my too!) black lab who has a bit of separation anxiety. Both my brother and I have been banned from having him in our apartments because he barks so much when we leave him alone! He never ever barks normally, but being alone in a strange place really stresses him out.
Of course, we’ve had a looong time to figure this one out so that’s really just an excuse, and the “real” (unofficial) reason we’ve kept postponing is more likely the language barrier (upcoming Part II of my Parent Introduction Blog Series).
Yikes, just writing poll options is making me nervous!!! But all four parents are really very nice so the worst fear I have is just that there will be lots of awkward silence. Anyone have any tips for making this as seamless as possible? Or any encouraging and/or horror stories to share about your parents’ relationships with each other?
Our parents get along great… they meet for dinner every couple months or so and email each other all the time!
Our parents first met just a couple months after we started dating, when they realized how serious we were. And they arranged it themselves and met without us, which cracked me up. Bob Evans has become their spot.
I think what worked well was that we gave them each other’s email addresses, and they began to chat via email, before meeting. That’s a great way to break the ice!
I didn’t know what to pick, so I said right after we got engaged. However, we got engaged 8 months ago, and they are meeting for the first time this weekend. I am a nervous girl!
My mother met his parents (my father is deceased) at an engagement party my sister had for me. I was completely nervous about awkward silences also since my mom doesn’t speak italian and thier English is sketchy. she busted out the baby album of me and that crossed all languages barriers. I highly recommend bringing along some photos of who you are and where you’ve been…a picture is worth a 1000 words no matter the language.
Our mothers met first back after a year of us dating. We decided to move in together, so the mothers met to discuss that with each other and us, and it worked out fine. Our entire families spent Christmas together at my FI’s parents’s new home. It was great. Their family is like a mirror American version of my family. They talked for hours even after we left.
FI and I got engaged in August 06 and our parents just met a few weeks ago (we’re getting married in June), so there wasn’t really an option for me to pick.
my parents pretty much refused to do any planning until they met fi’s parents. they weren’t being mean; they just didn’t want to make any big decisions until they had met his family and cleared the locations with them!
we were both really worried about them meeting. his parents are really exuberant, whereas my parents are quiet little reserved asians. fi’s brother also came in for the meeting.
overall, it went really well. fi and i share a lot of the same values and background, and our parents really connected over that. our parents still live in the same small quaint towns that we were raised in, and they also had similar backgrounds. our dads work in similar fields, so they had a lot to talk about.
it was really lovely!
Haha whoops, it seems like the option I had for “after we’d been engaged for a while” got left out! That was my answer too, so I didn’t even know which to pick out of the poll options that showed up here. 
Hehe. We will have been engaged a year and a quarter by the time our parents meet!
And I’m glad to see no horror stories yet!! Let’s hope that really means everyone in the hive has great happy family relationships!!
Our parents live 1200 miles apart, so they’ve only met once. They get along fine, and the moms occasionally email each other, but with the distance, there’s really no opportunity to develop any kind of relationship.
yeah, i’m another, “they met after we’ve been engaged for awhile.” but i chose the option right after we were engaged, since it was the best fitting choice. my parents are in california and his in philly, so it’s been hard getting them to meet together. his parents have expected that my parents make the effort to come out to the east coast to meet them.
my fi’s mom is…..something else. what could have been a lovely meeting turned sour b/c she’s nutso. =(
My parents live in Miami (sometimes Costa Rica), his outside of Boston. My parents come and visit me (now us) probably about once to twice a year and so they met his parents the first time they came up to MA while we were dating for my college graduation and my future in laws invited them over for dinner. It was nice, my sister and nephew were in town for the graduation too so there was a baby in the room which always makes everyone happy and excited.
My suggestion is have things to do other than just eat dinner. Go see a museum show or a street fair or something that will spark conversation at a meal later on. Bringing photos is a great idea too because again - it’s a conversation starter.
my parents have a language barrier…his are american, mine are korean so I act as the middle man and translate
it’s not that bad, b.c this way they only hear good things about each other 
Our families have a language barrier too! His family (mostly) only speaks Spanish and my family only speaks English. We both try our best to act as translators for each side.
They all got along quite well and are looking forward to seeing each other at the wedding.
Don’t stress too much about the first meeting. You will all be fine!
We started dating before either of us could drive, and my FI grew up on a farm 20 minutes outside of the city I grew up in, so one set of parents was always driving one of us to see the other so they met really early on in our relationship. They have always got along but if we were not together there is no way that they would be friends if they had met on their own. Not that one set wouldn’t like the other but they are just very different people with different lifestyles and different interests. It is always fun when we all get together though. We are very lucky…
Like Miss Mouse, we started dating before we could drive, and one or the other mother were always driving us back and forth. Our moms actually became very good friends, but they go through bouts of argument entirely separate from us. It can be kind of awkward; we joke that they’re like second grade girls, always fighting then making up.
His parents (immigrants) are so prejudiced against me that they won’t interact with me. They aren’t going to get the privilege of being introduced to my parents until they first acknowledge me. Although, strategically, they would love to meet my parents to try and aggravate them to the point that my parents would encourage me to forget it. Sigh…
But among normal human beings (lucky you), the photo album is a great idea.
My parents are polite but hate fi’s parents because they are perfectly horrible to fi. I unload about how badly they treat him to my parents (serious issues, not little ones) so they were never going to like them. I imagine they will very rarely be together in the future, so it hardly matters.
My parents love fi though and think he deserves real parenting, so they have just adopted him. To the point that I’m pretty sure if we broke up they would keep him!!
oops! sorry miss bluebell! yet another late night. 
our parents met at our rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. since mr. bee’s live parents live abroad and mine in la, it was hard to get together before then. they each brought gifts for one another (which i def think would be an great gesture on your part). it was a bit of an ice breaker.
as far as awkward silence, go prepared with stories to share about you and mr. bluebell, and like thistleorchid suggested, pictures are a great idea. good luck!
Our dad’s knew each other before we knew each other. Our dad’s have golfed together since before I was born. My parents love him, I am so glad too, in the past when a boyfriend wasn’t a favorite, they were not very nice to the parents either..EEk!
My SIL’s MIL & FIL are both deaf. So… after a few meetings of very amicable but strained communication, they are pleasant but didn’t feel any need to build a friendship outside of seeing each other at their mutual grandchildren’s birthday parties, etc. It really takes the pressure off my sister to have to get everyone together all the time, even though they all live nearby.
Our parents met each other 2 years ago at our college graduation, and they haven’t spent time together ever since. I thought it was a good opportunity to meet since it was a low-stress, no-expectations kind of meeting. The day was really about graduation and not about the parents feeling pressured to be best buddies. I’m sure the dynamic will change as wedding planning progresses. I am starting to stress out about it, but there’s not too much I can do given the language barriers (Korean and Taiwanese, and a smattering of Chinglish/Konglish!).
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Mrs. Bluebell, New York Age and Occupation in 07: 26, Finance Manager Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Playing with the cat and/or Consulting Engagement Date: December 25, 2005 Wedding Date: June 2007 Venue: Bride's family summer home in the Adirondacks About Me: Trying to find the perfect balance between family tradition (marrying at the house everyone else in my family gets married at), making our's modern, interesting and different from everyone else in my family's, and incorporating some Chinese tradition for my Chinese fiance. I really have no idea what it's going to end up looking like! Also, I picked Miss Bluebell for my name because I have blue eyes and I'm a loser like that.
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