Wedding Blog

I think it’s okay if you give an off-registry gift to someone you know fairly well. I mean, gifts are just that…gifts, and every gift should be appreciated, whether you asked for it or not.

I actually usually like to get a thing or two from the registry and find an extra gift not on the registry related to what they requested as like a nice surprise. Usually I get people the personalized aprons from Williams Sonoma. No one ever puts them on their registry, but they are so personal and useful that I have yet to come across a couple who didn’t love them.

I think off registry gifts are great if they are unique.

I think if you just decided that they need a green toaster, go out and buy one, I think that’s a little silly.

One of our favorite gifts was a quilt from my husband’s church. It was beautiful and very thoughtful. The salad bowls I recieved that were non-registry are sitting in the back of my trunk.

One other non-registry gift we loved was a gift certificate to bedandbreakfast.com. It was a perfect way for us to pick a vacation that we wanted.

I think we’ve gotten so used to registries that we forget that wedding gifts are just that - GIFTS. Not requirements. It’s lovely to get gifts you want and will use, and that’s where registries come in. But I think it’s important to realize that any gift is a generous gesture, whether it’s on the registry or not, and should be received in the spirit in which it was intended. If you hate it, you can always take it back later and then you’ll have cash instead, and we can all use cash!!

Some guests, especially from an older generation, tend to find registries offensive though, like a gift-grab. My grandparents nearly had a heart attack when they found out we wanted to create a honeymoon registry! I don’t really care and I will be creating one anyway, but for that reason, I won’t be offended if they don’t buy me something on the registry.

Having said all of that though, as a wedding guest, I find registries extremely helpful. They take all the guesswork and stress out of gift-giving and I always use them. If it’s someone I’m close to, I tend to just pick a more expensive item from the registry.

It depends on the gift. (For the sake of my response, I’m going to assume the gift was cheap - I’d love a new car even if it wasn’t on my registry!)

I feel like getting an off-registry gift (unless it is very personal/meaningful) is the giver’s way of saying he/she didn’t want to spend much money, so here’s something they either had around the house or found on sale. Otherwise, why would they get me some random gadget/trinket thing instead of something I’ve said I would like to have?

However, I think there are times when it’s ok to do so. I went to a wedding recently where the majority of the registry stuff STARTED at $150ish. (I was able to make a hodge podge gift out of random little things on their registry, but I’m sorry for anyone poor who shopped after me.) In this case, I think going off-registry instead of going broke or giving nothing at all would be a wise choice. There are still tasteful ways to do it, like getting them cute candles for the expensive candle holder they requested, or putting together a gift basket, like Miss Blueberry said.

It depends though. For my future SIL’s wedding, they had a web site that had their registry info listed, but they also said they’d like picture frames, so I felt ok giving them a frame I bought but had never used, since they hadn’t asked for a specific one. I still had the box it came in with the original “random couple” in the frame, so it wasn’t like I tried to salvage something to make it presentable. They love the frame, and use it, so it worked out for everyone.

I know gifts are supposed to be welcome no matter what they are or where they’re from. But my FH and I are living in an apartment, and will be doing so at least another 6 months after we’re married, so our registry is strategically thought out, making the most of our space, and not getting any random stuff just for the sake of having it. Gifts that weren’t on our registries (unless it was something like food or a subscription) would really just be taking up space, and we don’t have much of it to spare. Plus, what if the random gift is not your style? Then you’re stuck with something you don’t want and didn’t ask for, in the off chance the giver will come over and wonder where that thing is.

In conclusion, I think it’s best to stay on-registry, unless it’s something you KNOW they want, will use and will appreciate. The end.

I definitely think that couples WANT what’s on their registry…that’s the point, right? I know I’ve gotten stuff NOT on my registry that I just dont want, need, or cant return. I figure i did them a favor of telling them what I want…took the guesswork out. I got some very creative gifts for my shower, though, and really appreciated that!

Please don’t go off the registry unless you are 100% positve it is something the couple needs or wants. My FI and I took a lot of time to come up with a list (our registry) of things we need and want to start our new home and life together. We need dishes (we both have terribly haphazard chiped ones from our college days) and so we registered for them. I will be very disappointed if we don’t get any and instead get a collection of “stuff” people think is nice. It may be nice, but I NEED dishes.

Last year one of my friends got married and she received 3 toasters as wedding gifts. She did not even register for 1 toaster because both she she and her future husband had toasters. Now what was she going to do with 5 toasters! The fact that people didn’t take the time to look at her registry and see if it was something she and her FH wanted or needed was shocking to me.

I know wedding gifts are gifts and it is lovely to receive gifts no matter what they are- but if you’re going to give me a gift- why not get something you know I like and want? So many of us live in small homes or apartments and don’t have room for extra “stuff” and therefore really put effort into what was needed on the registry.

When one of my very close friends gets married I try and give gifts that are both on and off registry. For example a couple of months ago I gave my friends wine glasses and a decanter from their registry along with non-registry items like fun wine charms and personalized cocktail napkins. That way they get the best of both words (registry items they need and want and something special since it is from me).

I have sometimes picked something on the registry and then added to it like a few other people mentioned. Like a getting candles that go with the registry’s candle sticks or even some spices and fancy oils to go with their registry grill pan. Sometimes you can see a theme in the registry and you can find an item that is complementary.

Lucky I haven’t had to deal with the on/off dilemma…in my culture, we give money. Who doesn’t want that?

i agree with Laura S. a gift registry is a suggestion and not a requirement. i would never expect our guests to ONLY purchase items on our registry regardless of how well they know us.

I almost always shop off-registry-I just take a lot of time to find the perfect gift. However,if I don’t know the couple well,I don’t.
Most of my off registry gifts tend to be pieces of art-for one couple,I bought a genuine Navajo marriage basket.

IF (and only if) you know the couple really well, it’s great to get something off-registry to give them a surprise they will love. Especially if it is something personal/handmade. My grandmother lovingly made us a quilt — how can you beat that?

The chicken-out gift is the gift card. WTH are we going to do with the zillion giftcards we received — If you aren’t going to bother 1) picking something actually on the registry and physically get it to us or 2) get/make a special surprise we will love, please just send cash for us to use immediately wherever we need it most.