Weddingbee Blog

I read somewhere (and of course I can’t find it now) that your legal name and what you’re called don’t have to be the same. I’m just so used to not only this name, but also these initials, that I don’t see myself changing–I have so much trouble getting the right YEAR on checks, it would take forever for me to start signing a different name.

On the other hand, the traditionalist in me would want to be called Mrs. C. When I was addressing invitations to my friends who hadn’t changed their names, it felt weird.

So I go back and forth with it, but my feeling at the moment is, I will legally remain Ms. A, but you can address cards to Dr. & Mrs. C and I won’t get upset.

I’m not much help to you on this, but at least you know you’re not alone!

Hmmm, I am actually the complete opposite– although I love the way my name is right now (maiden) I am excited to be changing it to my husband’s…

We are getting married and entering a new phase in our life– both individually and together… it will just be one more way for our love and intimacy to grow by sharing a name…

I’ve actually signed up for “mrs mail” at gmail and mass mailed family and friends that I’ll be phasing our my current email which is “firstname.maidenname@gmail.com” when I wed… there were some who said it was really cute that I was so excited and then there were others who said I was jumping the gun…

I don’t care, I don’t believe my identity will be lost when I change my name– I think in fact it will strenghten it… and what’s in a name anyway, would a rose smell less sweet if it was called something different?

Good luck Ms. Emerald– I know you’ll do the right thing for you! And you don’t have to change your name right away… no worries, this is an exciting time!

I kept my last name and I couldn’t be happier. I don’t think our bond or intimacy has been affected in any way by having different names - no matter what we’re a family. I often feel very proud to have kept my own name when people ask me about it. Plus, I got to avoid the running around and paperwork that comes with a name change!

I would check with the laws of the state you’re getting married in for what type of name change is allowed. For example, NY is fairly strict about what names the woman can take on on her marriage license. Anything that doesn’t meet their rules must be addressed through a formal name change process.

Don’t get me wrong. I love being Mrs. Snow Pea as a wife, but as an Engineering student, I owe it to myself, my family and all Engineers alike to keep my maiden last name. That’s what is going on my engineering license so that’s the name I am keeping. Otherwise, I would love to be Mrs. SP. Mr.SP feels very strongly about the whole thing. He’s quite adament that I change my last name. My coworker in accounts payable said I can change my last name on the license and be Mrs. SP, but just don’t change it on my SS card. I don’t know how much truth is in that really because I read once you change it on your Marriage license, it’s considered legal (obviously) and you have to go forward with changing everything else.

I am going to take on Mr. Pumpkins last name but that is only because I couldn’t convince him to change his to the hyphenated version of our names too! I had a psychology prof in undergrad who did that and then both he and his wife and their children became the blank-blank family. So cool!
I feel strongly about children and parents having the same last name (whatever that name may be) and so since we are planning on having kids I am going to change it. I thought about keeping my maiden name until we actually get pregnant but I am also just about to start my professional life and so I thought it was important to start building my reputation with the name that I will eventually have instead of starting now with my maiden name and then switching in a couple of years to my married name. It just seems easier to do it this way.
I am sad about it though! I love my maiden name and all of the positive associations that come with it in our community. And, it just flows so nicely with my first name! But, Mr. Pumpkins name fits too so it won’t be too bad of a switch. What a hassel though! I have just started thinking about all of the things that I need to change - driver’s license, Social Insurance, bank stuff, credit cards, etc. If only there was an easy way to do it all in one foul swoop!

i don’t think it’s so much of a “new identity.” i’ll still be me whatever my last name is. i’d have more issue changing my first name than my last.

i never really felt any attachment to my last name [maybe because it's so very common] nor do i have any significant academic or professional achievements tied to it either. i’m actually looking forward to taking on my bf’s name once we get married and i know that he really wants me to take his name and that’s fine by me.

maybe my opinion will change when it’s my turn to get married or maybe it won’t. but don’t think of it as “losing” something.

I too want to keep my last name. In my culture, when us girls get married our maiden name becomes our middle name. The children take on our maiden name as middle names. But I really love my middle name which was my mother’s maiden name.

I plan to keep my last name, and we also plan to give any children my last name as well.

Along the lines of what Beta wrote, I’m curious as to why so many of you just assume that any children you have must be given your husband’s surname. They could easily be given yours. Or their last name could be a hyphenation of both your last names.

Just because children in the olden days were given their fathers’ surnames doesn’t mean that it has to be that way now.

I’m not really that attached to my name, except for the fact that it’s what I’ve grown up with. That’s who I’ve always been. So I’m a little sentimental about it. But I’m still changing my name, because I do want to share my fiance’s name. I considered using my maiden name for my middle name, but I don’t want to loose my Chinese middle name.

I didn’t read all of these comments (you got a lot!) but I’ll tell you what I did and what I wish I had done.

I changed my name to: MyFirst MyMiddle HisLast. I was so excited to change that this was all I thought of doing!

I wish I had done: MyFirst MyMiddle MyLast HisLast and simply gone by MyFirst HisLast. I am sentimental about my old last name now, so after I move (next month to a different state) and before I get my new driver’s licenses, I’m going to change my name again to what I now wish it was.