Wedding Blog
Mr. Pumpkin is very attention adverse. He is NOT looking forward to having everyone watch everything he does for a whole day and night, so he was very against a traditional head table at the front of the room on a riser. While I didn’t really have an opinion either way, the Moms felt strongly that we should be set apart somehow and be able to be “seen” by everyone.
The compromise that we have come up with is to have a long banquet table with the wedding party (including ushers) and their spouses, as well as our parents and grandparents, all sitting with us (on both sides of the table) in the middle of the tent. Meanwhile, everyone else is seated at round tables around us. It’s different, but I think that everyone is now happy with this decision.
I have noticed that a big trend these days is to have the sweetheart table. While I totally love the idea of getting some quiet time with Mr. Pumpkin in the middle of the whirlwind of the day, I don’t think I would like being so separated from our guests. In an effort to prevent Mr. P from running away, I didn’t even bother suggesting a sweetheart table to him!
What kind of set-up are you having for your reception? Have you considered a sweetheart table? Why did you choose the set-up that you did?
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Share this post: Sweetheart v. Traditional Head Tables
From what I understand, the sweetheart table really ends up inviting people to come up and stand and talk to the couple - rather than fostering any kind of private moment.
Maybe having the wedding party with you will be helpful. I remember being a MOH and cracking jokes with the bride about guests when stressed and diverting guests from the table when she just wanted a few forkfulls of food. The groom was under rapid extended family assult and his brother/best man did the same for him.
As for me and my FH, we are having 12 people max at our wedding and will all sit at one huge table in a manion conservatory for our reception. 
mansion, that is (not manion)
*really wishing for a built-in spell check*
I like the sweetheart table for one reason- it doesn’t split our wedding party from their chosen dates- if we had a huge table, it would never fit the entire party AND their guests. So we choose not to split them up.
we’re having a sweetheart table b/c we want our guests to come up to us, say hi, etc. figured we won’t get a chance to talk to everyone, this will allow us to be more “accessible”. and, i love the look of a sweetheart table.
My FI and I went to a wedding recently, where he was part of the wedding party. I didn’t know a lot of people there, so I was really happy to find that they sat at a sweetheart table and let their party sit with their dates/significant others.
Knowing how I felt then, I am planning on doing a sweetheart table at my wedding. That way noone feels uncomfortable.
i’d prefer a sweetheart table. that way the wedding party can sit with their SOs and whatnot. besides, they would have been by my side all day…i can afford them a break
i do enjoy having that moment with the bf all to ourselves for sure, even with people coming up to talk. it fosters a little intimacy even in the middle of a group.
We are doing a head table with our bridal party, and then their dates will be at the table immediately next to ours. We hate the idea of a sweetheart table because we want to celebrate with our closest friends on our big day — the people in our bridal party. I live rather far away from all my bridesmaids and rarely get to see them, so I want to be able to spend as much time with them as possible on such an important day! There would be too many people if we included dates, but both my fiance and I have been to weddings where one of us was in the bridal party and the other sat at the “date table” and we never minded or felt “left out”. It is particularly convenient since the spouses/significant others of most of our friends know each other, so it is not like they will be strangers. I’ve never complained or been unhappy at the “bridal party date table” so I don’t feel bad having one at my own wedding.
We’re planning on sitting at a regular table. The best man and date and Man of honor and date will be seated with us, along with two other people…haven’t figured those two out, yet.
I *love* your compromise idea, though.
We felt uncomfortable being at a table by ourselves also and didn’t want to split up our bridal parties from their spouses. We decided to sit at a round table (where the sweetheart table would have been) with our parents (which is actually what my parents ended up doing too).
We’re trying to figure this out. We don’t want a sweetheart table, we want to sit with our guests. I read on the Knot that a young guest at one wedding referred to it as the “Time Out Table.” 
However, our other options are round tables that best sit ten, or a long dais table that goes in front of all the windows and ruins the view. The round table would be difficult, as it’s not big enough for both our immediate families or for the bridal party (who are mostly kids, anyway.)
We had been planning on a sweetheart table because we, too, didn’t want to separate our bridal party from their SOs (who are not in the bridal party). However, it would be nice to get to spend more time with friends and family. So yeah…we have no idea what we’re going to do 
Our venue only offers round tables that seat 8-10. They recommend someone that rents out sweetheart tables but the way our room will be set up, there’s not really a practical place to put it. I really love the idea of one long head table (I was in drill team and was always jealous of the officers at formal who got to sit at the raised table!) and so far, none of our wedding party have SOs to worry about. We’re not doing any “and guest” so we just have to find a few long tables to bring in (there are only 6 of us) and a way to cloth/decorate them and we’re set!
I’m not sure if we’re going to do a sweetheart table or a traditional head table with the wedding party. I know we won’t do a round table for the head table people, my fiance wants our table to be “different” from the rest in some way, he loves being the centre of attention! I like the idea of a head table best, but have a couple of concerns about the guests of wedding party members. The husband of one of my BM’s doesn’t speak English too well, so I don’t want to leave him on his own without anyone he knows - he’ll be so uncomfortable! The date of my other BM doesn’t know anybody there… and my brother who will be at the head table would be stuck on the groom’s side and he doesn’t know any of my fiance’s friends. So I’m not sure what to do yet!
Although I felt the sweetheart table might look a little funny/rude, it actually worked out great. Each member of the bridal party was married or in a serious relationship so it made no sense for them to sit apart from their SO. Also it really was the first moment of peace we had together and it was really fun. Our table was very close between the “parent/godparent” table and the wedding party (sitting with their SOs all together), so it was like our cluster of tables was the head table. Worked great and we got some wonderful photos.
We sat at a giant table with all of our wedding party AND their guests. There were 23 of us at this giant table. It was fun.
We’re going to have a sweetheart table… Our bridal party is big (6 on each side, plus 2 junior attendants), I hate the thought of separating attendants from their dates (I just imagine myself in that sitation, being the shy person that I am), and one of my girls has kids, so she may need to be with them. I’d love to sit with our parents, but since mine are divorced, that won’t work. In the end… us at our own table (which is also a little less intimidating for guests to approach vs. a head table, I think), and then designated immediate family and attendant/attendant guest tables close to our table.
We’re also doing a sweetheart table - three of the ten people in our wedding party have children, another is married, and I hate to split up couples at an event like this. Plus, I don’t anticipate us spending much time at the sweetheart table — likely just long enough for most of the guests to get through the buffet line, then it’s off to greet, talk, dance, and mingle!
sweetheart table for us.
i dont think it segregates us from our guests..but allows people to come to us and chat or take pictures. i also don’t want to separate the bridal party from their significant others and friends..
We too are using a sweetheart table for easy access to the ladies room…I really don’t think I would be climbing over 20 people to get to the ladies room and have the whole room stare as they wonder “where is the bride going?” Of course there’s always the option to crawl under the table…hmmmmm=)
i like the idea of keeping the bridal party with their dates. none of our party is in a serious relationship, so i don’t even think they will bring guests. i won’t do a sweetheart table, because i don’t think i’d ever sit down then! i’d feel the need to keep getting up and talking with people who came to the reception.
We’re doing what WeezerMonkey did…there will be about 12 of us–BP and their SO’s–and it’ll be great! I have been in a wedding where they did this and have seen it at a couple weddings–it worked out perfectly well!
The ONLY time you’ll be sitting down is when you’re eating or listening to toasts, and that’s usually when everyone else is seated as well….. so….. I don’t think the type of table really matters other than choosing who gets to eat when you do! The biggest reason for being seen while sitting is simply for your reactions to the toasts.
We spent a lot of time on this, and ultimately, it didn’t make much of a difference.
We had 22 people at a destination wedding, so we all sat around a giant table. Rather than be seated next to each other, we chose to sit across from one another so we could look at each other. It made for some very interesting (and beautiful) wedding photos.
We aren’t doing a head table or a sweetheart table. I agree that the sweetheart table is for the guests to come up and talk to you. We don’t like this idea. Instead we are going to go to each table and talk to all the guests. As for the head table, I don’t like the idea of sitting in front of everyone.
Instead, we are going to sit with the bridal party at a table that is with the rest of the tables.
i decided on a sweetheart table for several reasons.
1. I like the idea of being able to be just with my fiance.
2. Not all the people in my wedding party want to be the center of attention, and since we are the bride and groom, we accept that everyone will be watching us anyways. Also, our BP can be together with their sig others.
3. For some reason I feel like it is less awkward for guests to walk up to us if they feel like it.
4. We will probably spend most of the time walking around and dancing anyways.
Hate the sweeatheart table, would prefer to be with my guests not seperate from them.
We’re sitting at a regular 8-person table like all of our other guests. My FH is also very attention adverse (as am I!) and we’d like to be able to sit with our friends. We’ll sit with our best man, his date, my MOH and her date, and some other random couple.
I’m from the East coast, but am getting married in Minnesota. In the process of wedding planning, we were introduced to the idea of a harvest table and decided we love the idea. (Perhaps it’s a midwestern concept?) Anyway, from what I understand, it’s generally oval shaped (made up of two rectangular tables placed side by side, with semi-circular tables on either end) and is placed in the center of the room. That way you are still set off from the rest of the room, but are also not too separate and get to sit with your close friends and family. We are figuring 14-16 people can sit as this type of table, so it can include us, special family, bridal party and their dates! (If you have even more, make the table with four rectangular tables and the semi-circles on the ends).
I have a major issue with bridal tables that do not include guests. Not all bridal parties are filled with close friends that know each other and one another’s sig others. It can be VERY awkward for a sig other to sit at a random table with other sig others and random guests. Hopefully brides would want ALL of their guests to have a good time and not need a royal set-up to make them feel special. Additionally, rectangle bridal tables are a terrible decision since you can only converse with two people - MAX.
I am a little uncomfortable with the sweetheart table but am going with it because I can’t think of a better way. All of my bridesmaids have dates and 2 of them won’t know anyone else. On my guys side, they are all close friends except his brother, who would probably prefer to sit with his friends/family. I like the idea of putting family, bridal party tables near the sweetheart table, so it isn’t like we will be all alone.
LOVE the sweetheart table for so many reasons.
Here are a few:
1. You and your new husband really share the wedding experience together.
2. Your guests know where to find you, toast to you, etc.
3. It’s easier and more cost effective to decorate the smaller table (and adding unique, personal touches)
4. You get the best seats in the house!
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Mrs. Pumpkin, Saskatchewan, Canada
Blogger Since: April 10, 2007
Age and Occupation: 28, Lawyer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Farmer
Engagement Date: July 14, 2006
Wedding Date: June, 2007
About Me: I love movies, music and I am addicted to TV. When I have some spare time I also love scrapbooking and making personalized greeting cards and above all playing Hide & Seek or Duck, Duck, Goose with my two adorable nieces!
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