Wedding Blog
I am not sure if the cake situation we had last week constitutes a full on bridezilla moment or not (I think not), but I definitely had one recently!
Okay, let’s start at the beginning here. I had been having some trouble with my invitations. The invitations themselves are beautiful, but they were three weeks late, and they do not have the right reply card envelope because unfortunately the designer put our current address on them instead of my parents’ address. So we had to switch to just plain white envelopes instead of the fancy ones we had originally ordered, unless we wanted to wait for some new fancy ones to come in, which of course we didn’t.
I finally started putting them together and I said to myself, “Self, you should go and see if you have the proper postage on these invitations and what kind of stamp you need on the reply cards so that our friends in the States can mail these back to us before you get too far in to the process.” So, I took one of my invites to the Post Office and it turns out that it is going to take 3 stamps to mail each invite (slap in the face #1 since when I ordered our personalized stamps I had only budgeted for 2 stamps per invite) AND the reply cards that we have are too small so the post office just plain ole won’t send them, even with proper postage (slap in the face #2)!
Grrrr! I was just so frustrated by the time I got home from the post office that I had to call my Mom and have a little sob session. Mr. Pumpkin was away for the weekend and I couldn’t get a hold of him so poor Momma had to take that hit. It wasn’t like I flipped out and unreasonably demanded that everything change because of my wedding, I was just so tired of dealing with these flipping invitations. There was a reason that I wanted them three weeks ago - I am currently in the middle of my final exams in my last year of law school so I should be concentrating on that, not my invitations. Now I am going to have to wait at least another week for new reply cards, and in order to get them to everyone before the deadline to reply, I am going to have to put them together and send them out smack dab in the middle of studying for my final exams.
Sorry to vent here but I know you all will understand how delicate the balance is when you are planning a wedding. I thought that I was prepared for bumps in the road but this really threw me for a loop! Have you had any unexpected trouble? Did you handle it with more grace than I did? Is that “So I said to myself, Self…” joke ever going to get old? I don’t think so… 
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Share this post: Bridezilla Moment #1 (Or Is This #2?)
Miss Pumpkin,
It sounds to me like your designer is to blame. The person designing my invitations is very conscientious of all the Canada Post rules etc. She even took a finished sample of my invite to Canada Post to be sure of the number of stamps required etc. I think an invitation designer should also know things like what size reply card is acceptable to go through the mail etc. I hope your new reply cards are free!
I’m with Roslyn. If you have proof that your stationer knew to use your parents’ address before printing began, not only would I demand new cards free of charge, I would also demand they pay for rush shipping, whether it be so they can get the new cards quicker, or so they can get them to you quicker. That’s a mistake on no one’s part but their own, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to hold them to some degree of accountability for it.
There’s a difference between being a bridezilla and doing what you need to do to get things done right.
I don’t think you’re being a bridezilla at all, I think you’re very understandably frustrated. We had a few hassles making our invitations too - we bought pre-cut card stock intending to print at home but our printer wasn’t doing a good enough job so we went to a local copy place and found out it’s much more expensive to have them print on pre-cut stuff instead of their sheets of cardstock. Argh!
i totally agree that these new rsvp’s should be free. also, don’t worry about a little meltdown….it’s going to happen every now and then and i’m sure any bride would be reduced to tears in this situation! invitations are one of the hardest things to get through in my opinion. do you have some bridesmaids or other friends you could recruit to help you get your invites out?
NOW is the time to advise/remind your vendor that you are a LAW STUDENT and ask her what she intends to do about the problem!
Aww, Miss Pumpkin. I’m in law school too and I can completely imagine how stressed you must already be with finals. I agree with Meridith that you should ask friends/family for help. Good luck!
I think invitations have been the biggest headache out of everything. You spend soo much time on them and it sets the tone for everything it’s hard not to feel soo attached to them.
I had my sob session two weeks ago… My loving cat decided to knock over a bottle of water over ALL my half done invites. (yes, half done, but i already logged in 5-10 hours on them). In a fit of rage when I realized all of them destroyed, I threw them on the floor, sprained a finger and went to go sob while sitting in the dark in the bathroom. My FI attempted to console me. I ended up ordering the pieces that i have to redo again and now they are sitting in a box, waiting for me. I also went on to not speak to my cat for four days.
uggh…
I am in totaly understanding with you on this one. Inviations are a thorn in my side. I curse the day I decided to DIY.
I don’t think you’re being a bridezilla–I hate that, actually. Anything goes wrong, and you complain, you’re a bridezilla. Sorry, sometimes complaints are necessary. So, here’s my quiestion: if you’re a law student in the middle of exams, why can’t MR Pumpkin do the invitations? Isn’t it his wedding, too? Any bridal party members or family members you can draft in to help?
Miss Pumpkin, I totally understand. I am the anti-bridezilla, but when I am already stressed to the max with grad school, there is only so much stress I can take on top of that. The mix-up is not your fault; it’s the vendor’s and she should fix it. As for stuffing and mailing invitations, my fiance and my parents and I did all of ours in one evening last week. It goes very quickly with more people, and I’m sure you can find a few friends to help! If your friends are all in finals, too, get Mr. Pumpkin’s to help and bribe them with food and beer. (I probably wouldn’t even ask them in advance, just invite them over for dinner and say “While you’re here, would you…”)
Hey, you are totally not a bridezilla! I’m in lawschool too, in my ast year also, and planning a wedding, and every know and then there will be meltdowns - such as two weeks ago for me when my hard drive died and I lost ALLLLL my wedding info, but I digres….
At the end of the day, lawschool is your friend. Who’s fault is this? Wrt to the errors: Designer should pay for their error unless there’s no time. Then take them to a regular printer or whoever can do the job, and get the designer to refund the cost.
WRT too small envelopes: Buy bigger envelopes that will fit the reply cards. Don’t change the RSVP card at this point. Also possibly a designer error too as they should know standard postage size.
WRT to getting this stuff out: Bridal party, fiance, anyone else but you, get thru exams.
Good Luck!
Ooops ok, so just reread my post. Perhaps I should have reread it before I submitted it. Major typos. But, hey, I was in a rush - I’m SUPPOSED to be studying, not wedding planning…..
i think most of us would be angry if we were in the same situation, so don’t worry about it. 
but your invites are still gorgeous and i bet your guests won’t even notice that you made any last minute changes.
yeah i agree with the above people - your stationery person is to blame for the snafoo with the response cards. there are definitly rules to the size the post office will send and they really ought to have known that.
but if they can’t do it in time, then i like the envelope suggestion. It’s ok! i broke down in tears when two of my friends said they didn’t like my initial idea for an invitation. i think i cried for like… a hour. but i think it was just that extra little thing after all the stress of planning that i couldn’t take anymore. (just never wanted a big wedding and yet i’m having one anyways!)
it will get better.
Miss Pumpkin
I have had a moment like that just recently (my mother in law decided a Friday wedding was not so good for her guests the weekend we were to sign the contract -and she has been MINIMALLY involved in the whole thing) and I had the same reaction (Stage 1.; Tears- sobbing, body shaking, stream of them Stage 2. IT’s MYYYYYY WEDDING!! 3. I want to call it all off!!. Because out of the 1million things to handle- each milestone achived , such as receiving the wonderful invitations you envisioned and mailing them out on time, is extrememly important.
My mother told me- relax, sleep on it and remember what is important. It took me about 4 fights with the fiance, a few days of crying, and about 2 weeks to come to terms with the fact that I needed to move on and find plan B.
Sometimes there are other surprises in life we deal with much more easily but when you plan your wedding - there is a world of emotions attached to part of it.
What would you advise your best friend to do if she was in your spot? Try to be your own best friend and follow that advise. Expect it to take a bit of time.
You learned a lesson ( that often those who are specialized, can be less experienced than yourself, and you can use that to be the controlling bridezilla everyone complains about to ensure you ask a million questions, and feel free to double check. All they can do is be annoyed, but it saves you the heartache. Its your wedding remember…
I realized I made a mistake and didn’t make it clear to everyone that their input was important, but that there are deadlines to meet after which I will make a decision and there is no turning back. I now made this clear to my fiance to follow himself and share with his mom “Speak now and voice any problems/issues with my what we’re planning or forever hold your peace…” :-D.
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Mrs. Pumpkin, Saskatchewan, Canada
Blogger Since: April 10, 2007
Age and Occupation: 28, Lawyer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Farmer
Engagement Date: July 14, 2006
Wedding Date: June, 2007
About Me: I love movies, music and I am addicted to TV. When I have some spare time I also love scrapbooking and making personalized greeting cards and above all playing Hide & Seek or Duck, Duck, Goose with my two adorable nieces!
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