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Open Question About: Do you have a question for the Weddingbee community? Please email us at ask@weddingbee.com with your question!
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I have been following Weddingbee religiously for the last 3 months as I’ve waded deeper and deeper into the planning process. One of the biggest turn-offs to planning, however, has been the unbelievable cost involved! We are paying for the wedding ourselves (I have no parents, his are not interested in being financially involved), and are saving as much as we can from our scant paychecks, tax returns, and bonuses. Our savings account is still ailing from buying our first home last fall. I have taken every short-cut, DIY’d all decorations, shopped sales and discounts exclusively, trimmed the guest list, and scouted the caterer that will give us the most bang for our buck. But in the end, I am still left wondering: how do brides pay for their weddings?

Thanks!
farmgal

Tags: advice, budget |
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54 Responses to “Open Question: How Are You Paying For Your Wedding?”

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Miss Bluebell

Farmgal - I did a poll on wedding budgets and how people are paying for them a looong time ago - here’s a link if you’re curious how the results came out!

http://www.weddingbee.com/2006/10/25/wedding-budgets/

 
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Sarah

We’re paying for it ourselves, and we expect it to be between 25K and 30K. We’re a little older than the national average (34 and 33), so that’s a big difference; also, between graduate assistantships and the Army’s College Loan Repayment Program, we don’t have the debt that many young couples are facing. I’ve also had two unexpected windfalls in the past ten years (a grandparent left me a startling amount of money, and I received a substantial insurance settlement after a small car accident), both of which I socked away. That’s hardly useful financial advice for anyone else, though, is it? “Get hit by a car.”

 
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L8Blmr

We are also paying for our own (destination) wedding. We have kept the guest list very small. I designed DIY’d the invitations (I know Illustrator & have access to good printers, etc.) and I am DIY’ing everything I can on the net from favors to flowers. We both have good paying jobs, but don’t want to spend our life savings on one day. I am saving every penny and have not bought anything unrelated to the wedding since we got engaged. I get a bonus from my job in the summer that I will put towards the wedding. Other than this, I am putting what I can on credit and paying it off as soon as I can to avoid interest. It’s hard, very hard, but I know it will be worth it in the end. I actually considered getting a PT job, but this would only add to my stress since most of my planning is done at night!

 
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jg

I know some friends that put some of the wedding costs on credit cards that didnt acrue interest for a year and just paid off the credit cards with money they received as wedding gifts. I wouldn’t pay for everything this way, but it does help to not have to pay for everything up front… but only if you know that your guest are the kind to give cash gifts.

 
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Karianne

We split the main expenses in three between my fiance and I, my parents, and his parents…

We both come from large families, and we have a ton of friends so this was the ONLY way we could think to keep the guest list reasonable - with each of us paying for one third each group gets to invite 40 people, or 20 couples (which is really hard). If any one of us needs to add people we have to pay an additional agreed upon price of $175 per person to cover all additional expenses (food, favors, decor, invitation, etc, etc)

On top of the main expenses we (my fiance and I ) are paying for our rings, our honeymoon (Maui - YAY), our pre wedding pampering, and our gifts to the wedding party… SO we have had to come up with A LOT of money this year, but I think that this experience will really help us in the future. We are doing great, and we still have 6 months until the big day!!!

 
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bliss

I am very lucky that my dad is paying for the wedding. My FI and I covered the cost of the honeymoon. But I am doing my invites myself just because I cannot justify the amount it would cost otherwise. We did luck out and booked our reception locally so we got 50% off. Even though its not my money I still think I am spending wisely.

 
7.
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sarah king

My fiance and I are paying for our wedding. Our budget was 30K and it seems like we will stay within our budget. :) good luck!!!

 
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Kim

I’m 27 and my FI is 31 and our wedding budget is 60-65K. We’re paying for it on our own. Both FI and I have high earning professional careers. Our wedding budget represents our life savings.

I think our wedding budget is fueled by the images that I see in bridal magazines, the knot, etc. - what I like to call the ‘bridal industrial complex.’ I know that if these sources werent around I wouldnt care so much about the centerpieces, the dress, etc. I watch ‘Whose Wedding Is It Anyway’ and envy those girls with $80K+ weddings and berate myself that I’m not more successful professionally.

My advice if you’re feeling overwhelmed is to step back and stop buying magazines, watching shows, reading WeddingBee (sorry Mrs. Bee!). Also, never go into debt to purchase anything wedding related.

 
9.
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sarah king

btw, i was able to plan the whole wedding without purchasing a single brides magazine. hehe although I used the internet to help find things and get ideas and etc. Make a budget and try to stay within that budget and you will be fine.

 
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Laura S

I have to second what Kim said actually - if you’re feeling a lot of pressure to have the “perfect” wedding and the “perfect” dress and “perfect” centrepieces etc, stop reading bridal magazines and watching wedding shows. I love to read/watch these things, but I have to admit that when I first got engaged and hadn’t read any of that stuff, my initial thoughts involved:

-iPod for music
-DIY wedding day makeup
-I didn’t care about the reception venue, I just wanted an outdoor ceremony
-I thought save-the-dates were a waste of money unless you were having a destination wedding
-I wanted as few decorations as possible because they only last for a few hours and I just wanted to have fun

I now have to actively keep reminding myself of those initial priorities because I keep seeing these really cool (but expensive) ideas that I love once I’ve seen photos of the final product, and all of a sudden these things I didn’t care about seem really important to me.

I WOULDN’T say stop reading Weddingbee though, because you gals post lots of $$$-saving ideas and DIY instructions!!

In answer to your question though, my parents are paying the majority of the bill, my dad’s been saving for it since I was born and has a really well-paying career. My grandmother unexpectedly sent a cheque for $2500 when she heard of our engagement, which helped, and my fiance and I are chipping in for a few items such as wedding rings, bridal jewelry/accessories, groom accessories, bridal party gifts, parent gifts, favours, and we’re paying for our own honeymoon.

 
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jmnz

We’re payng for everything ourselves too and it is hard. FI owns his own business and that just about everything to keep it running. I am DIY’ing everything I can, used “free postcard” deals for RSVPs and contacted manufacturers for my favors-I paid $.85/favor + shipping by dealing with the manufacturer compared to the $5.00/favor that the retailer wanted!

Also, I don’t use change and try not to use $1 bills. In 6 months I’ve saved about $500. If you don’t mind it, eBay is also another great option. I found my wedding dress there (a Pronovias w/tags attached) and bought it for $200. The gown came w/a lace jacket which I won’t need for Vegas so I turned around and sold it for $175 on eBay. Now I only paid $25 for my Pronovias!

 
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nopushover

Like Sarah, we are a little older than the average young couple getting married, so we’ve been out in the workforce a lot longer and we were able to pay for it ourselves without going into debt. No matter what age, we would not have gone into debt for our wedding. We would have adjusted accordingly…a more modest, smaller wedding/reception or eloped and then had a kick-ass party. Remember, there are no set rules of what you have to do, just make it meaningful. And since you’re paying for it yourselves, you two get to call all the shots. That can be very liberating. It’s so much better to start off a life together without carrying more debt than necessary (a mortgage being the great exception). Good luck, farmgal.

 
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Iris

Longer engagements = more time to work and save money, bargain-shop, DIY, spread “assignments” to avoid burning out close friends & family, etc.

I hear you, it’s a no win! Pay for it yourself and you are spending your nestegg. Let others pay for it and there are strings attached.

Check bridal consignment, borrow stuff, use ebay and Craigslist. Communicate on email to save on stationery and postage (except for invitations of course). Get the digital negatives of your photos so you can make copies how and when you want, not at the mercy of the photographer.

Best tip: Off-season (Jan, Feb, March) is also huge savings offered by many vendors and there is more selection since there is less competition for those dates.

 
14.
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Miss Blue Bear

My FI and I are fairly young…26/27 and we are paying for our own wedding. We currently have budgeted 35K for the wedding and lucky for me, he has planned for the future when we met 5 years ago…I was too busy trying to run from my parents and decided to become a rent paying idiot by moving out…so there goes my paycheck. It’s not easy, but we are managing by pulling in the OT, not using our bonuses and saving our tax refunds. All this and we are going to buy our first home prior to the big day. Things work out in the end and there are definitely areas that can be trimmed and cut some more to make it work. It’s not easy, but you’re in plenty of good company when it comes to financing the wedding between just the bride and groom.

 
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Andria

My parents and my fiance and I are paying for the wedding. His parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner only.

Mind you, I’m from Minnesota, and the town I’m getting married in a very small, which keeps costs low. Our budget is 10K. However, I am a recent college grad paying my life away in student loans, on a job that doesn’t require a four-year degree with a salary to match. I am currently still living in my smaller college town (40,000) and waiting for my fiance to get done with school this summer, hence the random job (I will be finding something better paying and within my education range after we can move).

The only reason I am able to really pay for anything is my tax refund, which is a nice chunk of change but nothing ridiculous. I only have $200 left for living after each paycheck, so anything I pay for on the wedding has to come from there.

So, even though our wedding doesn’t cost as much as it could due to the location, I am pretty much selling my kidney to pay for this wedding, which is a very simple one at that. For those of you that are able to pay for 30K weddings by yourselves, I envy you :) I can see where a more expensive wedding may add a certain kind of stress in itself, but it is also stressful when in addition to normal wedding planning stress, you have to conjure up ways to even pay for the basics.

 
16.
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kandaceandjason

Laura S - your grandmother’s generosity would cover almost our entire catering bill - and that’s for an estimated 130 person guest list!

jmnz - way to be a bargain hunter!

I definitely think it’s in the mindframe of the couple. My FH are paying for mostly everything (my mom is paying for dress/alterations and FH’s parents are paying for rehearsal dinner). We manage through waiting for bargains, using coupons and applying for credit cards with a 0% interest rate (when the period is up, like if it was a 6 month offer, we just transfer the balance to a new 0% card.) We weigh the options with every purchase: do we want it enough to justify not only the expense, but putting it on our credit card? It’s good that we agree when it comes to finances that we don’t mind going into a little debt for the things we really want.

Here’s the best part - we both graduated college in December and I STILL haven’t found a job (I graduated summa cum laude for crying out loud!) So we are working off of FH’s weekly paycheck and my ability not to spend money during the day when I’m job hunting. (Shameless plug: if anyone in the DFW area wants to hire me, PLEASE let me know!)

 
17.
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SKK

We’re both a year out of college, and I’m paying for our August wedding completely on my own. Our budget started at an arbitrary 20k, but it looks like the final number will be close to 25k. (~100 guests attending)

I was lucky enough to score a great job in the finance industry right out of college. I work hard, but the monetary rewards are amazing. I automatically route a big chunk out of every paycheck to a savings account (essentially wedding money), and put all bonuses and tax returns in there as well.

Our engagement will be about 15 months, a little on the longer side, which has given me plenty of time to save. Neither of us have any student loans or credit card debt, and we’re determined to start our marriage debt-free.

My financial “diet” requires sticking to a strict plan, but it’s allowed me to purchase the Monique Lhuillier dress of my dreams, not to mention a handful of Diane von Furstenberg dresses for wedding-related events.

Good luck!

 
18.
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sm

SKK we are in the exact same boat. Me and FI are 2 years out of college, our engagement has been long (over 2 years) and we are paying for 95% ourselves. I am in the finance industry and FI is a teacher so we are living ok and socking away as much as possible. I put my entire bonus towards the wedding and both our refunds. We havee been strictly saving for a year an will be able to fund our roughly $25k wedding (200 guests) and honeymoon.

We have worked really hard at not spening money on things other than the wedding (i.e. random shopping, eating out, happy our, etc.)

 
19.
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wormy

We paid from our savings - about 2K. I tried to think of it as more of a party than what the media says a “wedding” should be because at the end of the day that’s what it is: a celebration with your friends and family where you get dressed up, eat some food together and listen and/or dance to music. If you start from the party mindset then anything extra you (within a reasonable budget) do will make it feel special vs. starting with a “wedding” mindset and feeling like you have to cut a thousand corners or spend more than you can afford.

 
20.
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Pencils

We’re older than most of you, we’re both 40. This is my fiance’s second marriage, my first. We would have never gone into debt for this wedding. We decided that we would spend $10K on it, no more, not including the honeymoon. We’re considering the honeymoon to be our vacation this year, and it’s our first real, long vacation together. Previously, the most we’ve taken are four or five day trips to Block Island, Florida, and Chicago (we’ve been together a bit over two years.) Anyway, we had the money for the wedding, and probably the money for the honeymoon, and we talked about buying a house but knew it would be a few years. Then my fiance unexpectedly inherited some money. We haven’t increased our budget at all, and we’re still watching expenses carefully, but I’m not squeezing *every* penny until it screams, which I would have if this were still just our savings. We’ll have our wedding, our eight days at Sandals, and still be able to buy a house later this year (on Long Island, where houses are expensive.) The sad part is that I’d rather not have inherited the money, I’d much rather that the person were still here, but I have to admit that it’s made wedding planning easier. I’m still wearing my $750 gown, still doing my own flowers and lots of other DIY, but I did hire hair and makeup professionals when I had thought to save on those items.

I personally think it’s very foolish to go into debt for a wedding. It’s just one day, and people rarely remember the decor or flowers unless they were Preston Bailey spectacular. What people remember is if the food was good, if they had fun, and how much in love the couple looked. We’ve got the good food, I hope it’s going to be fun, and we’re definitely in love! :)

 
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