Weddingbee Blog

We’re paying for it ourselves, and we expect it to be between 25K and 30K. We’re a little older than the national average (34 and 33), so that’s a big difference; also, between graduate assistantships and the Army’s College Loan Repayment Program, we don’t have the debt that many young couples are facing. I’ve also had two unexpected windfalls in the past ten years (a grandparent left me a startling amount of money, and I received a substantial insurance settlement after a small car accident), both of which I socked away. That’s hardly useful financial advice for anyone else, though, is it? “Get hit by a car.”

I know some friends that put some of the wedding costs on credit cards that didnt acrue interest for a year and just paid off the credit cards with money they received as wedding gifts. I wouldn’t pay for everything this way, but it does help to not have to pay for everything up front… but only if you know that your guest are the kind to give cash gifts.

I am very lucky that my dad is paying for the wedding. My FI and I covered the cost of the honeymoon. But I am doing my invites myself just because I cannot justify the amount it would cost otherwise. We did luck out and booked our reception locally so we got 50% off. Even though its not my money I still think I am spending wisely.

I’m 27 and my FI is 31 and our wedding budget is 60-65K. We’re paying for it on our own. Both FI and I have high earning professional careers. Our wedding budget represents our life savings.

I think our wedding budget is fueled by the images that I see in bridal magazines, the knot, etc. - what I like to call the ‘bridal industrial complex.’ I know that if these sources werent around I wouldnt care so much about the centerpieces, the dress, etc. I watch ‘Whose Wedding Is It Anyway’ and envy those girls with $80K+ weddings and berate myself that I’m not more successful professionally.

My advice if you’re feeling overwhelmed is to step back and stop buying magazines, watching shows, reading WeddingBee (sorry Mrs. Bee!). Also, never go into debt to purchase anything wedding related.

I have to second what Kim said actually - if you’re feeling a lot of pressure to have the “perfect” wedding and the “perfect” dress and “perfect” centrepieces etc, stop reading bridal magazines and watching wedding shows. I love to read/watch these things, but I have to admit that when I first got engaged and hadn’t read any of that stuff, my initial thoughts involved:

-iPod for music
-DIY wedding day makeup
-I didn’t care about the reception venue, I just wanted an outdoor ceremony
-I thought save-the-dates were a waste of money unless you were having a destination wedding
-I wanted as few decorations as possible because they only last for a few hours and I just wanted to have fun

I now have to actively keep reminding myself of those initial priorities because I keep seeing these really cool (but expensive) ideas that I love once I’ve seen photos of the final product, and all of a sudden these things I didn’t care about seem really important to me.

I WOULDN’T say stop reading Weddingbee though, because you gals post lots of $$$-saving ideas and DIY instructions!!

In answer to your question though, my parents are paying the majority of the bill, my dad’s been saving for it since I was born and has a really well-paying career. My grandmother unexpectedly sent a cheque for $2500 when she heard of our engagement, which helped, and my fiance and I are chipping in for a few items such as wedding rings, bridal jewelry/accessories, groom accessories, bridal party gifts, parent gifts, favours, and we’re paying for our own honeymoon.

Like Sarah, we are a little older than the average young couple getting married, so we’ve been out in the workforce a lot longer and we were able to pay for it ourselves without going into debt. No matter what age, we would not have gone into debt for our wedding. We would have adjusted accordingly…a more modest, smaller wedding/reception or eloped and then had a kick-ass party. Remember, there are no set rules of what you have to do, just make it meaningful. And since you’re paying for it yourselves, you two get to call all the shots. That can be very liberating. It’s so much better to start off a life together without carrying more debt than necessary (a mortgage being the great exception). Good luck, farmgal.

My FI and I are fairly young…26/27 and we are paying for our own wedding. We currently have budgeted 35K for the wedding and lucky for me, he has planned for the future when we met 5 years ago…I was too busy trying to run from my parents and decided to become a rent paying idiot by moving out…so there goes my paycheck. It’s not easy, but we are managing by pulling in the OT, not using our bonuses and saving our tax refunds. All this and we are going to buy our first home prior to the big day. Things work out in the end and there are definitely areas that can be trimmed and cut some more to make it work. It’s not easy, but you’re in plenty of good company when it comes to financing the wedding between just the bride and groom.

Laura S - your grandmother’s generosity would cover almost our entire catering bill - and that’s for an estimated 130 person guest list!

jmnz - way to be a bargain hunter!

I definitely think it’s in the mindframe of the couple. My FH are paying for mostly everything (my mom is paying for dress/alterations and FH’s parents are paying for rehearsal dinner). We manage through waiting for bargains, using coupons and applying for credit cards with a 0% interest rate (when the period is up, like if it was a 6 month offer, we just transfer the balance to a new 0% card.) We weigh the options with every purchase: do we want it enough to justify not only the expense, but putting it on our credit card? It’s good that we agree when it comes to finances that we don’t mind going into a little debt for the things we really want.

Here’s the best part - we both graduated college in December and I STILL haven’t found a job (I graduated summa cum laude for crying out loud!) So we are working off of FH’s weekly paycheck and my ability not to spend money during the day when I’m job hunting. (Shameless plug: if anyone in the DFW area wants to hire me, PLEASE let me know!)

SKK we are in the exact same boat. Me and FI are 2 years out of college, our engagement has been long (over 2 years) and we are paying for 95% ourselves. I am in the finance industry and FI is a teacher so we are living ok and socking away as much as possible. I put my entire bonus towards the wedding and both our refunds. We havee been strictly saving for a year an will be able to fund our roughly $25k wedding (200 guests) and honeymoon.

We have worked really hard at not spening money on things other than the wedding (i.e. random shopping, eating out, happy our, etc.)

We’re older than most of you, we’re both 40. This is my fiance’s second marriage, my first. We would have never gone into debt for this wedding. We decided that we would spend $10K on it, no more, not including the honeymoon. We’re considering the honeymoon to be our vacation this year, and it’s our first real, long vacation together. Previously, the most we’ve taken are four or five day trips to Block Island, Florida, and Chicago (we’ve been together a bit over two years.) Anyway, we had the money for the wedding, and probably the money for the honeymoon, and we talked about buying a house but knew it would be a few years. Then my fiance unexpectedly inherited some money. We haven’t increased our budget at all, and we’re still watching expenses carefully, but I’m not squeezing *every* penny until it screams, which I would have if this were still just our savings. We’ll have our wedding, our eight days at Sandals, and still be able to buy a house later this year (on Long Island, where houses are expensive.) The sad part is that I’d rather not have inherited the money, I’d much rather that the person were still here, but I have to admit that it’s made wedding planning easier. I’m still wearing my $750 gown, still doing my own flowers and lots of other DIY, but I did hire hair and makeup professionals when I had thought to save on those items.

I personally think it’s very foolish to go into debt for a wedding. It’s just one day, and people rarely remember the decor or flowers unless they were Preston Bailey spectacular. What people remember is if the food was good, if they had fun, and how much in love the couple looked. We’ve got the good food, I hope it’s going to be fun, and we’re definitely in love!