Weddingbee

My mother is against birth control pills for some reason. My doctor put me on them about three years ago to regulate my cycle (I went 5 months w/o having my period for no reason), and when my prescription ran out, she told me that I would just have to see how it all turned out!

Since I’m getting married, I decided to get on the pill again, but I’m not going to tell her until after the wedding. It is a decision for individuals and couples to make, and no one else. But I understand where you are coming from.

While I haven’t come up against anyone that objects to my taking BCP, I do feel your pain. There are other decisions that my FI and I have made that are not exactley popular with either set of parents. We deal mostly by gritting our teeth, smiling, and reapeating the phrase “We see your point, but I think we’ve thought about this long and hard and believe it’s the best decision for us at this point in our lives.” And then trying to change the subject. . . .

On another note, if you’re getting serious nasuea with the BCP, there are other types you can try that have lower dosages that may make you feel well enough to eat dinner. Talk to your dr about it.

Good luck!

My mom doesn’t like the pill either. I have no idea why, as she used to take it herself! I think it has to do with the fact that it can make you put on weight, and also when I first went on it I was 19 which she considered too young to be having sex and she didn’t want to think about that.

I think the decision about what birth control method to use has to be between me, my fiance and my doctor, and nobody else. If my mom brings me objective information about a study about the pill or something (which she friequently does) then I’ll read it and consider it, but if she’s just sharing her personal opinion of what I should be doing for birth control, I listen to her but don’t do anything about it. She’s not looking at it from a medical point of view, and you have to take the course of action that is the healthiest plan for you within your own values.

I’ve been on the pill for 8 years with no problems - no ill side effects, no weight gain, no unexpected pregnancies and clearer skin to boot!

i have no idea what my mom thinks about bcps but she used to take them a while back. i’m sure she’d have no problem with me wanting to delay the babies AFTER getting married but i’m almost positive she’d be miffed if she knew i was taking bcps now…before marriage…for shame! i figure she’d be disappointed that i am having premartial sex but at least i was smart enough to think it through and take measures to prevent a pregnancy. unlike the others in our family.

i don’t see the difference between opting for a condom versus being on the pill. they both prevent the same thing in the end. but this was my decision that i made and discussed with the bf. actually it was me telling him i was going to and him saying okay. you’ve got to do what works best for you.

Eek! This reminds me when I began taking BCP for reasons relating to my skin (I was 16). My Dad (who raised me) was dead-set against taking any form of oral meds to help clear up my skin (we tried the topical, but had no luck). So I called my Aunt (Dad’s older sister) who can usually ‘convince’ my Dad to go for things like this, and the first thing she said was “so you want me to convince your Dad to let a 16 year old go on BC?” LOL - I think this is what my Dad was thinking too, but HONESTLY it was for my skin! Can you say awwwwkward. Anyhoo, I continue to take it today and just avoid talking about it with the parents altogether. After all, it is my body

I think perhaps *some* of our parents being reluctant to go for the whole BCP regardless of our age might have something to do with the big BCP scare in the 60/70s? Of course it could also be they don’t want to think of their “babies” needing it or it could be for cultural/religious reasons as well.

If you are comfortable with the risk/benefits and have discussed it with your doc (which clearly you have) I say continue to use the BCP and perhaps not mention it again to your Mom - regardless of how close you two are.

After dating FI for a few months:

**ring, ring** (I call home)
Mom: Hello?
Me: Hi mom, I’m on the way to the doctor…
Mom: …
Me: Nothing’s wrong, but I am going to the gyno for BC (birth control).
Mom: Are you sure that’s a good idea?
Me: Are you sure it’s NOT a good idea?!?!

In fact, this is the reason my parents have been so flexible when camping, when FI would visit, etc. with the sleeping sitch–they say it’s because they know we’re being careful. And my mom confirmed that she and my dad had made this trip together, too, and that she knew it was a good idea. No objections in general–the pill seems to work for FI and me.

My darling parents try to be strict when it comes to conventional values, but in the end praciticality wins. Example…

Me: Patrick’s getting a job in Tacoma and we’re going to start looking for a place to rent.
Mom: Well, I don’t really know how I feel about that… (we weren’t engaged at this point)
Me: Well, it makes sense rent-wise (one rent instead of two) and we’ve been dating for four years so we’re obviously really serious…
Mom: Actually, I don’t know why I said that. This makes sense.

Ah, love my mom!

I think there’s a huge difference between the condom and the BCP in both the feeling of being intimite and what they are designed to prevent. The condom is of course, also designed to be a preventer of STD’s (not save-the-dates in this case!) and pregnancy. The BCP is only to prevent pregnancy. Until my FI and knew that we’d be together forever, we used condoms and before we decided not to use them, we both were checked for STD’s (even though he’d never had another partner and I had only used condoms with other partners). I’ve been on BCP since I was 16 for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) to regulate periods and deal with some of the side affects of PCOS.

My Mom is very much in favour of BCP and she put me on them when I was 15. There was some extreme cramping that helped the decision but really it was because she knew that Mr. Pumpkin and I were “getting serious” (I know that is somewhat scandalous at age 15 but it was my reality - I in now way endorse it for others) Anyhow, I have been on them ever since and I am so glad that she did that. I will definitely follow her example when I have kids. I would rather know that they are safe no matter what happens than *hope* that they are being responsible.

“Natural” is a couple having lots of sex (maybe not exclusively with one another), and lots of babies, only some of whom will reach adulthood due to “natural” viruses, infections, injuries, diseases, accidents, etc. Funny how people want modern medicine to keep “natural” deaths from happening but then call it “unnatural” to try to reduce births. If you keep births the same but reduce mortality we would/do have rampant overpopulation.

Anyway I have lots of psuedoscience and believers in the “natural” way in my family. It makes no sense. There is a strong anti-hormonal BC strain among my parents generation, as well as a number of “accidental” cousins that have resulted from various versions of the rhythm method, withdraw, reused condoms (just fold the old one inside out and it should do the trick!), improper diligence with the pill, etc. Most of my generation seems more open to the pill.

What can you do. Keep this between you and your husband. If you must discuss it with your mother, ask her what method keeps a woman from ovulating during pregnancy. Hormones. Very important not to produce another egg when already pregnant. So hormones are a “natural” method of controlling fertility, one us smart humans now exploit for our own purposes when not pregnant.

But 100 years ago a fertile, sexually active couple would expect 1 child roughly every two years and thus a woman would spend a good deal of her adult life pregnant or under lactation-induced lower fertility aka. hormones preventing proper ovulation.

Anyway, I too had occasional nausea on the pill. I much prefer the ring. Also don’t have to remember every day.

I went off the BCP last year after a few of my co-workers were hospitalized due to blood clots forming in their lungs due to the BCP!

While I am not going to preach, I will just say, I am staying far away from the BCP. It’s condoms only from here on out.

My parents and I have a pretty, um, I guess abnormal relationship. Their belief is that if I am an adult, I need to act like an adult. If I am going to have sex, I can’t act embarassed about talking to them about it.

I talkto my dad about condoms and my mom about her experience with BCP. I suppose I should feel weird and embarassed, but parents are people too.

hmm. i think a lot of parents find bc to be something taboo because if you take them then clearly you’re doing something that would make the need to take them…

i’m not a huge fan of sharing that information with my parents. but - i did use the excuse that… “george” as i like to call it - is usually very very painful and very very present during that time without the pill - so being on the pill - aside from the side effects of bloating and feeling fat half the month - actually makes life nicer for me. and those benefits really outweigh the “living in sin” aspects.

so i’m not sure if anyone would like to use that as an excuse. but i know a lot of women who take it for certain medical benefits and not the amorous ones.

My mom also doesn’t like them…I started taking them for mupltiple reasons, but mostly to regulate my cycle. My mom doesn’t approve, but let it be (she also lives in another country). she also warned of side effects, worries that i would have trouble getting pregnant in the future, blah blah (she ignores the fact that i’m actually IN the medical field). anyway, the last time i flew to korea, she took it as far as dragging me to a hanyahk bang (herbal medicine “doctor’s” office) for something to help regulate me. She force fed me this nasty stuff — and i actually ended up getting VERY ill from the hanyahk. miffed as she and i both were, we’ve never had to discuss it again since. haha.

Haha thanks for reminding me to call in my refill just now!!

Blood clots are a risk with taking the pill, but there are risks with any medication, and of course as long as you’re healthy and don’t smoke, the risk is not that great for most women.

While some studies suggest there is a slight increased risk of breast cancer with the pill, every doctor I know has told me that risk is outweighed by the proven decreased risk of ovarian cancer. One very compelling reason is that you had a better chance of discovering breast cancer early with self-exams, or by your partner noticing a lump. By the time ovarian cancer is detected, it’s usually pretty far along.

This is a long post but I just wanted to add, while I didn’t go through every comment w/ a fine tooth comb, no one mentioned an IUD. My MOH, who’s mom is a nurse, just gave me an old copy of a journal called “The Female Patient” Heath care Provider Edtion (I don’t know if that means there is some other edition out there). It is Vol 31, No. 1, dated Feb. 2006. There are a few interesting articles - the reason my MOH gave it to me was so I could read about IUDs. The article argues that in the US, IUDs are routinely overlooked as a possible form of birth control, mainly due to a bad reputation gained in the ’70s and ’80s. The newer IUDs have fewer risks and many advantages over hormonal birth control methods (though some IUDs are used in conjunction with very low doses of progesterone). I strongly recommend that people look into it as an option if, like me, you can’t tolerate OCs. Oh, and the journal also included an article that debunks the myth that Oral Contraceptives (OC) cause weight gain, and cites at least 5 studies which show no major weight gain. Depending on the particular OC used, weight change ranged from a loss, up to 0.85kg gain (1kg = 2.2lbs).

Sorry for the long post, but there is so much anecdotal and misinformation out there, it was nice to come across concrete, reliable, and unbiased scientific information, so I thought I’d share.

I do think it is a personal choice between you, your significant other, and your doctor. Cultural differences, generational differences, scientific differences, and personal differences can really add up to different views! I encourage you to take it all in step like it looks like you are doing

I will say, whenever you do alter your body chemistry, definitely be aware of what your own body is telling you — I had a terrible reaction to BCP which manifested itself in absolutely debilitating depression. I was fine for three months, just “stressed,” but suddenly I hit a wall and began crying for hours a day. I hope I don’t scare you, but I just want to warn you! Just be aware! I’m also the only one of my friends who has been affected this badly by BCP, so don’t fear

i feel that i must add that when i said i didn’t see a difference between using condoms versus bcp i meant in a way of promoting one over the other as being better than the other. i know the benefits of using a condom [protects against stds...the bad kind and so forth] that isn’t covered by using the pill alone…went over everything with my doc and all those handy sex ed classes in school. when they still offered those classes.

I have a copper (nonhormonal) IUD. It’s not comfortable to have put in, but it’s not that much worse than a Pap smear. My periods are a little heavier, and about a day longer- but it’s hormone free and won’t fail now or affect my fertility when I am ready to have children.

yikes!!
I can totally picture having the same conversation with my mom after the wedding!
I hope she doesn’t share too much info w/ me though…haha~

Another thing that could be making you nauseous is the time of day you are taking the pill. When I took the pill in the morning I didn’t have any problems, but if I took it at night I had MAJOR morning sickness the next day.

My fiance and I didn’t really talk about the BCP. I went 3 or 4 years only having about 7 periods total. I decided I would talk to my doctor and she put me on the pill. I was nervous at first but my mom was alright with it.

My fiance was very concerned that I tell my dad ahead of time so he didn’t just see them and assume…ha ha I have never seen him so nervous talking to me and also so nervous about my dad and what he woulc think.

Other than that I don’t know if I have experienced any side effects other than some weight gain and also some moodiness.

thanks