Although this has probably been blogged to death, I have a question about registries. As has been mentioned before, many couples don’t feel the need to register. I understand the reasoning behind this, but still question the gift angle.
For weeks leading up to the wedding we recently attended, I asked any and everyone where the bride and groom were registered. I figured they may want something off that for the wedding. No one knew. So, Mr. Kiwi and I went to the wedding sans gift. *Gasp!* Since she wasn’t taking her honeymoon until this summer, we knew she’d be at work the following week, so we’d just get it for her then. Well, I asked her where she was registered, and she said, “Nowhere.” What? She didn’t register for anything? Okaaaay…
So, while we were planning to get her something off registry, we figured giving them cash would be easier. Until she said that “Cash was appreciated.” Hmm. It’s all well and good when it’s our choice to give them cash. We like giving cash. When there is no other choice, I feel cornered into giving money or nothing. Who wants to be an ungrateful guest? So, we’ll give her cash.
Still, now it feels like we’re grudgingly giving something because there was no other option. What do you think of having only one option: Cash? I mean, we could get her a set of mixing bowls or something, but seriously, who wants something they didn’t ask for?
ms. kiwi, i think etiquette is more about custom than anything set in stone. i’m in asia right now and everyone gives cash and that’s totally cool. we’ve asked three couples who’ve gotten married in the past year what they wanted and all said — red envelope (customary way cash is given)! so, if you can register for a mortgage or a trip to disney, and big wedding gift stores such as crate & barrel let you exchange your gifts for whatever you want, why not just ask for cash?