Weddingbee Blog

I don’t know - even if all we wanted was cash I think I would register at somewhere like BBB and then return the stuff. Then again, what do you do when Aunt Sally comes over looking for that crystal punch bowl? Hmmm. There has to be SOMETHING you need, even if your registry isn’t 27 pages long…

I think everyone should have a registry to help ensure that you don’t receive completely useless things that you DON’T want. Some people are just not comfortable giving cash as a gift, and won’t even if you request it. On the other hand, cash givers will generally give cash even if you are registered all over the place. A registry is a courtesy for your guests.

Except in cultures where giving cash is the norm, it seems to me that there will always be some people who want to give gifts, not cash. Because of that, it’s a good idea to have a registry, so you’ll get some things you want, or at least some things you can easily return. Even though we’re older and have been living together for more than a year, and therefore have most of the household things we need, we created a registry, as there are still plenty of things that would be nice to have. And things are disappearing off the registry, so it looks like we’re going to receive them, too. We have nice friends and family. OTOH, cash always fits! I’m still a bit weirded out by the whole idea that so many people are going to give us gifts. But I like it!

Hmmm.. Suzy, you’re in a tough spot. I do think it’s an inconvience if you don’t register, but you’re right, what should you register for? Maybe it could be passed around that while you do appreciate any and all gifts, it’s just too hard to ship and use while in another country. I know I’ve spoken out about the honeymoon registries, but perhaps you could register for something to allow you guys to fly back and forth? Honestly, I don’t know!

I respectfully disagree with the notion that you have to register for SOMETHING, ANYTHING. We’re not registering. We don’t need anything. (I’d elaborate, but it’s really that simple.) It’s far more important that our friends and family who will be spending a lot of $ to get to our wedding, simply show up and celebrate with us. I understand the situation with your friend is different, Ms. Kiwi, but when did not registering because you truly don’t need anything start to mean “give me CASH!!!”? From my perspective, in this age of crazy consumerism, and pressure to buy a gift for (1) the bachelorette party (2) the shower or showers, and (3) the wedding, I’ll happily oblige the couple who doesn’t register.

I also have to disagree. We registered for just a handful of things. This is not our way of telling our guests to give us cash; it is our way of telling them that we have nearly everything we need.

Robyn, good point about consumerism. There are plenty of valid reasons for not registering. Couples shouldn’t have to register “just because” and not registering should not be seen as an automatic gift grab.

I think it’s a sign of our young age that some people in their 20’s think it’s rude NOT to register. So many of my relatives think the notion of a registry is a disgusting gift grab and refuse to buy any items from a registry! I respectfully disagree with your opinion, Miss Kiwi. I think a little perspective is helpful. When it’s your birthday, do you create a gift registry for your friends that you expect them to choose from? No, you happily accept the gifts they choose for you without your input.

People can do the same at their wedding if there’s no registry. But honestly, after the expense of a wedding, I can sympathise with the bride who probably genuinely needs money more than things. She’s saying cash is appreciated, not required.

When people ask where we’re registered, they always get a much, much longer response than they expect. First, coming to the wedding is going to be a healthy expense for many people, so we do try to acknowledge that. Second, we suggest contributions to the American Cancer Society and American Diabetes Association, to “contribute to a long and healthy marriage.” And third, for the people who just cannot handle the break in tradition, we have tiny little registries at two national chains, listing only things we genuinely feel we need–thus, the Crate and Barrel site constantly sends me “low gift reminders” because we have fewer than ten items listed.

So far everyone who’s mentioned gifts has said they’re making charitable contributions.

Sarah, I think it’s awesome how you are registering. Honestly, it’s great. Kudos.

Hopefully everyone can remember what I blogged about yesterday- how I was raised to not ask for anything. This is why when people ask about the wedding, I’ll say what I think- that I’ll just be happy to have them there.

Yes, while we are extremely broke right now (I’m sure all of you remember the random posts about it), I wasn’t raised to say, “Money is appreciated” when people ask us what we want. Maybe I’m showing my age. I just want the loved ones there- gift or not. We’ve registered because that’s one of the first things we were asked “Where are you registered?”

Perhaps I reacted to the request oddly because I’ve never heard that from anyone- wedding, anniversary or birthday. Sure, everyone would love money, but who actually asks for it? I didn’t add that she said, “Whatever cash you can give us is fine.”

There’s always the gift card. But actually who wouldn’t rather have the same amount in cash? It can be spent anywhere, anytime (or saved!), and it won’t expire.