Wedding Blog
In my “Gimme Gimme Money!” post, Suzy posted a difficult question. What do you register for when you live in Asia, but your wedding is in America? Ever since my brother moved to Australia, I know it’s hard and costly to ship things back and forth from here to there, and the outlets aren’t the same. So sending a blender their way wouldn’t make much sense!
Suzy has the same predicament. While she’d like to register for things in the States for their guests’ convenience, it would cost a lot to ship these items back to Asia, when they already have most of their housewares anyway. I know I’ve publicly blogged about honeymoon registries and things like that, but it sounds like Suzy has no other options: cash, honeymoon registry, or nothing.
I don’t know Suzy, but I do know most brides aren’t marrying for the gifts/money that come with it, and we’d all love for our family and friends to enjoy themselves at our weddings, and that’s gift enough. Most guests, however, want to give a gift of some sort, so…
What do you think she should do?
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I’ve heard of couples having weddings cross-country from their current residences who registered at national chains with good return policies. After their wedding they returned all of their gifts before going home, and then purchased them all again with the store credit. That might not be helpful for internationals, though.
I would say if you’re coming from a culture where red envelopes are the norm, run with that, but do gently let the guests who are of other cultures know that you do have a darn good reason. Actually, two darn good reasons.
An alternate plan might be to register at the largest possible chain where you’re living, and hope they have a really good [and ideally bilingual] website.
We registered at Amazon.com- you can ship everything right to our home address. Other registries online also have that option. I think particularly if you pick a registry that is for a store in Asia and has an online store as well- your U.S. guests won’t be able to do in-store purchases, and won’t want to pay to ship it to themselves when the item will just be going back to Asia anyway.
There is still a danger that people would order to their own addresses and carry things to the wedding- but you can also put a note on top of yoru registry for guests to (hopefully see), and spread the word that people shouldn’t bring any gifts you can’t easily carry home (i.e. cash) to the wedding.
Good Luck!!
That is a tough one. The one couple I know in that situation is having a honeymoon registry.
My blogger pal Tiffany actually registered in Italy. Perhaps Suzy can find a store in Asia that is also accessible online for guests in the U.S. This is tough. For the most part, Asia has lots of homegoods already, small living spaces, and different electrical outlets. It’s custom anyway to give money in Asia. I know this is taboo to some, but in this special case, family should just spread word of mouth that they are living in Asia so gifts aren’t necessary and then I think they will get the hint anyway. ie. gift cards, cash.
I wish there was a way to register for flyer miles.
I know Crate and Barrel gives cash back for returned wedding gifts — NOT store credit. You might want to spread the word about travel restrictions, etc. and then as a precaution, only register at stores with this type of cash-back return policy. Then you can return everything unshippable after the wedding.
I don’t see the point of registering with the intent of returning gifts. Like Miss Snow Pea suggested, I think the best thing to do is have your family spread the word about cash and gift cards. Easier on you guys and your guests!
i think Suzy should follow Asian customs and accept the red envelopes from guests. It’ll be much easier for her guests and she’ll be able to have cold hard CA$H! 
I would just utilize the bridemaids and groomsman in this situation. Tell them up front that you aren’t registering at a traditional store because of the shipping and other logistical problems, so instead you are doing a honeymoon registry. Once they know, they usually spread the word for you!
Michael C Fina will hold all gifts until you say when and where to ship them. Also you have the option of reassigning the $ guests spent there to different items before you have your stuff shipped. Useful if you end up with too many of this and not enough of that, or you change your mind.
Though I am by no means experienced at this whole wedding planning thing (not engaged), so I’m not sure what is or is not “acceptable”, but if I were to be a guest, I wouldn’t mind being informed of the situation. In fact, I am sure most guests would appreciate being as informed as possible. You can basically explain what you have told us here on a separate paper to go with the invites or a website if you have one. It’s easier to give cash when you understand the needs of the couple. Also, it’s good to know where the cash might go so maybe you can explain that you are in the process of buying a house, or that you have plans to go on a honeymoon later on, etc.
Basically, I think I’d feel better giving cash if 1) I knew the couple needed it and would make good use of it and 2) I knew there it was going to. It’s kind of like making a donation but not knowing what it was for.
Miss Kiwi: I will proceed directly to the nearest chalkboard and write “Suzy not Suzie” 100 times. 
i think it’s acceptable to spread the word that cash gifts would be appreciated. since everything will have to be shipped abroad and it is a cultural thing after all, i think guests will be understanding. in that situation, i’d definitely give cash.
Miss Lovebug, it’s funny because my mom’s name is “Susie” with no Zs at all!
I have a test for Miss Lovebug: When you say “The 1980s” do you do an apostrophe? 
Miss Kiwi: when I “say” the 1980s? Just teasing; I know what you meant. 1980s is correct, provided you’re writing about the decade itself. 1980’s is how you’d write it if you were discussing that which BELONGED to the decade, i.e. 1980’s music. ***drops pencil and saunters out of class***
Ahhh, I am soo glad you said that. It drives me crazy. You may not know this from my scattered thoughts online, but I
ms. kiwi, you are awesome! thank you so much for posting this! and thanks to all who’ve chimed in! you bees are the greatest.
I think a Honeymoon registry would be a great idea here.
I’m doing one through Distinctive Honeymoons. We’re going to Greece.
http://www.distinctivehoneymoons.com/
The way it works is that you choose where you want to go and work with a travel agent. You pay for the upfront honeymoon costs, air etc. and they create a wesbite and send out announcements to all of your guests.
Then you get a nice big check at the end.
Northwest Airlines offers a frequent fliers miles registry. Check out their website for more info. I tried to post this with the link last week, but the comment was never posted.
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Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA
Engagement Date: March 31, 2006
Wedding Date: November 3, 2007
Venue: Radisson Hotel
About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
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