What Have You Done For The Sake of Love?
April 27th, 2007 @ 4:57 pm by Mrs. Emerald
Unfortunately for me, the majority of Mr. E’s family speaks 90% Cantonese, and 10% English. I, on the other hand, speak about 99% English and 1% Cantonese. (My vocab consists of “I am hungry,” “Tastes good,” and “I love you.”) This makes communcation a bit difficult to say the least! His family gets together frequently for dinners, birthdays, holidays, etc., and I am always invited. Of course it makes me happy that they like me, but most of the time I just feel kinda useless cuz I sit there, not understanding most of what’s going on. Mr. E does his best to translate, but sometimes it’s just difficult for him to translate EVERYTHING (his sister and/or his uncles will sometimes chime in with translation help as well, which is great).
But the toughest part is not being able to communicate with his parents or his grandma, who he’s very close to. I know it bums him out a bit…So recently, I’ve been pondering ways to secretly learn Cantonese and “surprise” him. What would be a better wedding gift than this?! Has anyone tried something along this line? (well, maybe not the secretly part) I am thinking of ordering this CD by Pimsleur from Amazon:
Only $13.57! I am wondering if this is feasible? Cantonese in 4 months? It got some decent reviews on Amazon, but I’d like to know if any readers have tried this series. Or does anyone else have any other suggestions (inexpensive options would be good!!). I just want to be able to at least understand the basics, and carry a simple conversation. That would certainly be a start.
What unusual things have YOU done for love?
P.S. I am Taiwanese, so my family speaks Taiwanese and Mandarin. But lucky for Mr. E, my parents speak English!
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28 Responses to “What Have You Done For The Sake of Love?”
Yes I used a similar program for french. It was very helpful. I am not fluent but it helped on my last visit. The more you are around it the easier it will be for you.
Gosh, all I did was learn to play bridge. Badly.
I’ve got one coworker learning Polish, and a friend from college learning Hindi. Particularly for the latter, it was really tough for her to get the family to accept her before they saw that she was really making that kind of effort. They’re all fluent in English, so there wasn’t a language barrier, they were just unsure how this whole white daughter-in-law thing was going to work out. I wouldn’t say everyone’s the best of friends now, but the Hindi classes did make a noticeable difference in their attitudes toward her.
I used Pimsleur to learn French & I love it! I can order a meal, ask for directions, find my way around shops, & have a sort of superficial conversation with someone. The rest I learn through trial and error…have fun - it’s a lot of fun to learn another language. I try to keep it light by speaking “French-lish” to my FI, who speaks French…I had post-its all over the house with phrases and words…have fun!
p.s. I also used it to learn German for my German FI & his family…I am still learning. It’s hard, but worth it…again - post it’s everywhere!
I used that exact same Pimsleur Cantonese and it was so much fun and very helpful!! I feel like I really did learn all the things that they went over…but it really isn’t very much on the first lesson, so I want to buy the much expensive complete kit at some point. I can’t have any sort of actual conversation in Cantonese, but now when they’re talking I can follow the gist of things based on a few key words that I understand, so it helps a little! I’m definitely planning to REALLY learn Cantonese……….someday!
i’ve been looking at korean language cd/classes for myself and been wondering about the pimsleur. thanks for the post!
Miss Emerald, my future FI is Taiwanese and his family speaks traditional Taiwanese and not so much Mandarin. Do you have any ideas on books/tapes/cds for an English speaker wanting to learn Taiwanese? I’d love to surprise he and his family.
doesn’t mr. e’s parents speak mandarin? most cantonese speakers (older ones) usually speak mandarin b/c that’s the offical language and all. i’m sure they’ll love you even more now that you want to learn their language. good luck!
My boyfriend is vietnamese and his parents speak mostly vietnamese. He bought he this learn to speak vietnamese for me and I tried…REALLY I did, but all the different tones sounded the same to me. His Mom (realizing that I’m here to stay) has really made the effort to speak to me in english. I think its harder to learn an asian language if you don’t know one to begin with.
Tofu - Mr.E’s dad speaks a TINY bit of Mandarin, but not fluently. His Mom doesn’t speak it much at all. It doesn’t help that MY Mandarin absolutely SUCKS, haha. (I speak Taiwanese halfway decently, but not great either)
Virginny -
Hrmm, I tried looking on Google and Amazon and didn’t come up with a similar program for Taiwanese! I wish I had something to offer you =/ This is probably because not too many people speak Taiwanese anymore. In Taiwan, its mainly the older generations that do. Everyone under age 40 seems to speak Mandarin!
Miss E-
Yeah same here. I’ve found Taiwanese sites in Chinese - which doesn’t help me much. LOL. Thanks anyway. I may just HAVE to take a trip to Taiwan. Anyone wanna come along?
Good luck on the Cantonese!!
I went to Taiwan with the fiance’s family about two years ago. WAY too many photos here.
My fiance got the same exact program and has been listening to it. Like you, he got kinda tired of sitting around the table for dinner with my family and don’t have a clue what is going on. I thought it was the sweetest thing (he has zero chinese/asian background). He said it really helps a lot that he can try the phrases out on me after he learns them so I can correct him / give him more background about how and when to use the words he learned. He’s doing very well, I think. It’s not a program intended that will teach you to really carry a conversation, but it’s a great starting point. He really impressed my family (and they love him for trying so hard.) More than anything I REALLY appreciate his efforts to fit in better with my family and ultimately make me happier. He also learned to play ma-jong and played several games (rounds) with my family including my mother and my grandmother. They refuse to stop telling people how their white future (grand)son-in-law is able to play ma-jong with them, and pretty well too!
I never tried CDs or books, but I suggest watching movies and shows in Cantonese. When I started losing my Chinese, my parents got us TVB and we watch more movies and shows. It’s more fun to learn that way and my parents do agree my Cantonese is getting better. It’s not great, but it’s getting better. Since you already know Mandarin, watch the movies/shows with the caption so you can read along. My uncle learned Cantonese from doing this as well (he’s Vietnamese) to surprise my aunt, and he didn’t know any Cantonese from the beginning. He even learned how to read and write by watching everything in caption. I can’t read and write but I can speak it. I am not as good as he is.
DUDE! my husband has and listens to pimsleur’s cantonese cd’s (i’m cantonese, he’s 3G JA). he listens to them while he’s driving to work and while we’re in the car together. i 2nd mary’s suggestion abt getting TVB too (directv channel 450 and 451). since moving outta my parents place i was losing my cantonese and got my husband to order TVB for me. so we watch together and i translate - hard btw when they’re yapping away a mile/min.
but def get the cd’s and try practicing when you have alone time! it’ll be a good start!
I agree.. TVB helps me, too! Plus… it’s entertaining. I should really let my bf try to Pimsleur Canto. He’s the only one in his family that doesn’t speak/understand it, since he’s the youngest.
i wasn’t a big fan of pimsleur for french, because like someone else said, after the first (very basic) cd, you have to buy the whole set. it’s sort of a teaser and if you know the basics you won’t learn much. if you want to spend a little more $$ (and how can you put a price on love? ;-)) everyone who’s tried it says that keystone (is that the name?), the ones you see in the mall kiosks and advertised all over the place, is great, although its very interactive and you have to work while you listen.
I’m a Cantonese-speaking white girl (grew up partly in Asia) and I have heard that the Pimsleur CDs are not that useful. I think it would be better to find an inexpensive tutor (or language exchange off of Craigslist- English/Mandarin/Taiwanese for Cantonese!) since that’s the only way to master the tones, in my opinion. When there are 9 tones, even a small tonal difference can alter a conversation, as I’m sure you know from your other Chinese dialects! I bet if you learned a Cantonese song to sing at karaoke, you’d impress the family too! Also, my H is Japanese, so I understand your situation all too well!
Miss Emerald, You are so sweet. I’ll have to ask Mr. SP about this one because he bought a Cantonese tape that he really enjoyed. Unfortunately, sometimes he’ll learn things that I don’t know so I can’t even help him. But it’s been fun learning from that as well.
I have the full Pimsleur Cantonese set, and have done about half of it; the first few lessons are very tourist-oriented (”Where is King’s Road?”) but eventually I find I can understand about 30% of what is being said, and can speak somewhat intelligbly. The Berlitz book was not helpful.
The major problem in teaching yourself Cantonese is that there is no standard transliteration system to our alphabet, and so every book does it a bit differently.
If you’re looking for a book, I liked Amy Leung’s (I can’t remember the title, but you might be able to find it on Amazon). The two Talk Now software programs appear to date to about 1995, and have very basic graphics and games, but were helpful to drill for numbers and other basics.
Generally the only thing to do is to listen very closely at the family gatherings and pick up as much as you can that way.
yea i’ve heard pimsleur isnt the best for indepth learning. i would third the suggestion about watching tv in cantonese, as well as reading papers/books in it (with a dictionary), you’ll pick up grammar, vocab and common phrases fast that way. i’ve been doing that myself with korean, though i youtube the tv shows since i don’t have satellite. good luck! i’m sure mr. e and his family will love you even more for your effort.
I moved to the USA from Europe to be with my bf 5 yrs ago, but thankfully I was fluent in English before I came here. However, adjusting to life here was not all that easy.
He can’t speak my language at all and I have to say it would mean a lot to me if he learnt at least a little bit.
Miss Emerald, I am sure Mr. Emerald will appreciate your effort. Did you consider taking classes ? You can usually sign up for about 200-300 dollars for 6-8 wk course. I think it might help at least in the begging.
I moved to the USA from Europe to be with my bf 5 yrs ago, but thankfully I was fluent in English before I came here. However, adjusting to life here was not all that easy.
He can’t speak my language at all and I have to say it would mean a lot to me if he learnt at least a little bit.
Miss Emerald, I am sure Mr. Emerald will appreciate your effort. Did you consider taking classes ? You can usually sign up for about 200-300 dollars for 6-8 wk course. I think it might help at least in the beginning.
i used this exact set!!! i was able to speak within weeks (but i tend to be good with languages) but i like the way it’s set up 
i’m also learning cantonese from my fi’s dad via yahoo. cantonese lessons from hong kong to new york. haha 
Chiming in on the pimsleur, not for cantonese, but mandarin–this is what my fiance used when he started learning mandarin. He bought several sets, and they are not cheap. However, they did help his pronunciation and basic vocab improve a lot. I listened with him once or twice in the car, and was impressed with their teaching system. (I’m fluent in mandarin.) I don’t know how the cantonese ones are, since there are more tones than in mandarin.
I decided to stay in New York with him until he’s ready to move to CA with me. Hopefully in 5 years! Before i met him (here in NYC), I decided i was only going to live in NYC for one year max. This is major for me because i’m totally like a fish out of water in NYC. I’m a Sunny SoCal girl who needs her space, fresh air, and green grass and sunny skies everyday!
Mrs. Emerald, Chicago
Age and Occupation: 26, Hospitality Administration
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Paralegal
Engagement Date: October 8, 2006
Wedding Date: September 2007
Blogging Since: November 29, 2006
Venue: Hyatt Lodge, Oak Brook IL
About Me: I have been dreaming about my wedding forever, and flipping through bridal magazines since high school, so I am in my element! I am calling our theme "Vintage Inspired French/Asian Fusion." Mr. Emerald is very involved in the planning process, but of course he generally defers to me cuz I have a strong opinion of how I want everything to be :-).
I converted to a different religion because I wanted my fiance and I to raise a family in the same faith.