Wedding Blog
Our RSVP’s were marked “The courtesy of your reply is requested by the first of May 2007″. So far, of the 83 invites we sent out, we’ve gotten 45 back–just over half of them. Now, somehow I doubt we’ll get 38 responses in the mail tomorrow–don’t you?
You may know I’m not a patient person, so the amount of uncertainty we still have is killin’ me!
So for you already-marrieds: how long did it take until you got the majority of the responses back? When did you start pestering people?
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start now… it takes forever to reach everyone.
that’s pretty good if you ask me… i actally had to call everyone a month before our wedding date cuz our ceremony site wasn’t ready for opening…
Some people will never respond…they are usually (his) family (well at least in our case it was)I think we started contacting non-responders two weeks after the ‘deadline.’ :p
That’s funny–our RSVP date is also tomorrow, and we’ve also only received about half. What is wrong with people??? I know that some of these people were planning on coming, but it would be nice to get the definite notification.
yes you can start “pestering” them before 5/1. just ask them “did you get my invite?”
It’s a common problem now - people forget/ignore RSVP requests! I would expect that you might only get a couple more trickle in late. I would plan to start calling the non-responders a week after the deadline has passed.
Our RSVP deadline is today and we only received 2 cards today. In total, we have heard from 110 of the 235 people invited.
hmmm..i think people were still RSVP’ing a month after the “please RSVP by”. I also had to send out a mass email reminding people to rsvp since it was most of our friends who were younger that didn’t rsvp on time..haha
Our RSVP date is tomorrow also, and we haven’t gotten a lot of RSVP’s back either. Except in my case, people are refusing to send them back because they want to keep the picture on the back (I put one of our engagement portraits on the back of the post cards).
I’m loving that postal rate hike. Our responses aren’t “due” for another five weeks, but the stamps on ‘em are only good for two weeks. You can be sure I’m cranking the reliable rumor mill with that.
unfortunately, people nowadays don’t realize that rsvp actually means a note that states you are or are not coming. even if you make it easier for people with the rsvp card, the response rate is still around 40%. hence, i pretty much ditched the idea of having rsvp cards; why pay an extra 400-500 when people don’t even respond that way? i figure i will have to call most people anyway, or will hear via email or phone call.
Yep, that’s what happened to us too. The worst are the ones that respond via word of mouth to so and so who tells so and so that they are coming. Then it gets worse. Some people you just can’t get a straight answer from and then others change their RSVP from “yes” to “no” after it is too late to change the number for your caterer.
So far, with six days to go, we have 4 people who are now “no’s.” Which is costing us nearly 300.00 for people to change their minds and I am certain we will have more no shows since nearly every wedding does.
Sorry, wedding anxiety is making me run on and on…
Our RSVP date was Friday… out of 380 invitied (yep, it’s a LOT) and only 53% had responded… they’ve been flooding in the last few days… good luck!
On deadline day, I ended up sending a friendly-sounding but firm email saying that we were finalizing the list for the caterer. Use “bcc” so they can’t see they are not alone. After email #1, there was email #2 or phone call, and for a select few email #3 plus phone call. There seems to be no shame of being a late RSVP! People are LAAAAAAAAAZY!
Still, there will be last-minute cancelations so consider rounding down your “final count” (maybe by 10%) for the caterer so you’re not overcharged. People were especially bad about adding or subtracting kids on W-day, so you never know! Understandable since kids get sick and babysitters fall through, but just protect yourself from overpaying if possible.
Has anyone used an online RSVP like with their wedding website? Did you get similar results?
a wedding coordinator told me it’s suggested to set the rsvp date 4 saturdays before the big date. then on the day after the rsvp date (sunday) call everyone who didn’t respond. in case there are people who didn’t receive the invite, we’re supposed to send it priority the following day. i guess we also spend time to do the seating chart…or whatever. i’m not sure what else we’re “supposed” to do
Ugh, these statistics disgust me. I grew up in a household where thank you notes were always sent within three days of receiving a gift (or being invited to someone’s house for dinner, etc), one NEVER showed up at someone’s house without a gift for the host/hostess, and RSVP’s were always sent in a timely fashion. What happened to manners and common courtesy? I’m 23, and I will be the first to say that my generation is so inconsiderate. When I get wedding invitations, if I already know that I will be in attendance (which is typical since it’s rare these days to be invited out of the blue), I put my response card in the mail the very next morning.
My FI is a slacker. Last summer, a set of our mutual friends got married. They sent him and invite (I was “and guest”ed). I didn’t remind him to return the RSVP because I figured he could be a big boy and do it. He never sent it out, and our friend called to ask if he and I were coming…
There’s nothing wrong with contacting people. They probably meant to return it and forgot. It’s funny how differently we see things on the other end of the wedding spectrum (bride instead of guest). I’m embarrassed for not making him send the RSVP in.
45/83 sounds pretty good!! that’s over 50%!! i sent out 200 invitations and i got 34 RSVPs >.
hm my comment got cut off for some reason.
45/83 sounds pretty good! that’s over 50%!! i sent out 200 invitations and got 34 RSVPS back. people just don’t care! and they get annoyed if you call to ask if they’re coming and even then some of them can’t even give you a definite answer! they just don’t think about what the bride is going through when those RSVPs can make the difference of ordering a few thousand dollars worth more of food or not. i especially hate those people that don’t RSVP, then show up to the wedding with 3 guests, and then bitch because there’s no food for them. well, duh!! those people have no one else to blame but themselves. I hope you get a few more RSVPs tomorrow!! a few of my guests sent in their RSVPs 10 days after the deadline. i don’t know why they didn’t just call. hehe
i thought my guests were being slow but after reading all your comments I can see that they were pretty good! out of 302 guests, 47 guests still haven’t replied and the due date is tommorow too….i’m calling all of them tommorow.
We ALSO (seems like there are several of us!) have the RSVP deadline for tomorrow… and yeah… less than 1/2 of those sent have responded. Miss Blueberry, thank you for this post! I’ve been stressing soooo much the last few days about this and it helps to realize that I’m not alone (not that I wish this on you, though!). I’ve been debating on how long to wait to call… I’m thinking 5-7 days… because there are a LOT of people to call. I’m also hoping to split up the list… my dad already said that he would call his family, etc.
Good luck to you!!
It’s a pretty common problem - you would think most people would understand the importance of an RSVP but they don’t. If your RSVP date is today - you can and should start calling tomorrow because, as someone said above - it takes a while to reach everyone. For anyone who has a RSVP date coming up - it’s a good idea to plan a call day right after that date so you have time set aside to do followup calls. Enlist your mom and some friends to help out as well.
Iris, can you share the wording of that e-mail with the hive? Our RSVP date was Saturday, and I’m trying to track down the stragglers.
Most people view the RSVP date as the day to mail it by so I would give it a few days before you start calling. The vast majority of my RSVPs came in the week after the RSVP deadline. After that I started calling. In my case, every single missing RSVP was from someone related to my mother. I delegated the responsibilty to call and find out to her .
I am using the online RSVP through theknot.com and we’ve gotten a pretty postive response. The website looks great, is very informative and easy to access. I even enclosed a photo with our invitations and that same photo is the one we used on our website. Plus this way people can selectively print off the information they need. And, as people RSVP, they enter their email address so I know have all everyone’s email address and once the wedding photos are done I am going to direct everyone to our online wedding album.
The reason I decided to use the online RSVP was because I asked people who’ve already gotten married about guests responding and it sounded horrific! Why waste all that money on the response cards, envelopes and now the price increase in stamps!
We had a website and an online RSVP. A grand total of seven couples responded that way. We thought it was a waste of time.
i started calling a week after the date on the reply card. but…i also asked for the responses a week before i actually needed them. so, i ended up getting all but 20 by the time i really needed them. then, after calls, we got all but 5.
another hint: if you can, have your MOH do this for you…mine called people while we were at our hair trials…it was awesome not to have to be the “mean one.” and she just took their reservations and meals right on the phone. it was a great gift.
Chrissie — It read something like this (and DO use bcc and read-receipt):
Hello! We hope you will be able to attend our wedding! We wanted to follow up because your RSVP for the wedding reception has not yet arrived. The caterer requires a final headcount by tomorrow, so please let us know whether you will be attending. Also, please state your meal selection (beef, chicken, or vegetarian). Feel free to RSVP by replying to this e-mail, or call Bride at 212-555-1212.
Thank you so much. Hope to see you soon! Love, Bride & Groom
It WORKED for most guests! The email took off a lot of pressure compared to making so many time-consuming phone calls and putting people on the spot (not that they shouldn’t have known their answers already). We got a lot of responses at off-hours when it would have been too late to call, which might mean they’ve just been busy.
our response due date was april 27th.
so far i believe i’be gotten about 75% back with a few stragglers that appeared today.
also a handful of people wrote to say they didn’t pay attention to the rsvp date and are sending it in late.
but my mom did start calling people about two weeks after they were sent out to verify whether they got the invitation. that also prompted a lot of people who probably would have forgotten, to respond.
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Mrs. Blueberry, Kansas City
Age and Occupation in 06: 21, Full-time Student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, Full-time Student
Engagement Date: September 10, 2005
Wedding Date: May 25, 2007
Venue: Wynbrick Center - a historic mansion in my hometown.
About Me: We're having an intimate, 125-ish person wedding with a full-blown dessert reception. When I'm not obsessing over wedding stuff or studying for my BA in English, I'm usually playing with our two kitty cats, blogging, doing crafty things, or hanging out with Mr. Blueberry!
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