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Lately, I have been totally stressed about wedding planning. Both Mr. Raspberry and I are very busy with our jobs–after the Daily Candy post last week, I have been slammed, which is a good thing. But I’ve been working so much, I feel like I’m not taking enough time to enjoy all the little parts of planning our wedding. At the same time, I try to put things in perspective by thinking that no matter what size candles I decide on for the reception tables, the wedding will happen and in the end we will be husband and wife. I know this sounds so cheesy, but it’s true! My wedding band arrived a couple of weeks ago (Mr. Raspberry’s came months ago) and I cannot wait to wear it! I can’t wait to be Mrs. Raspberry!
My list of little things to take care of is so long, there is no way I can possibly do everything myself. And Mr. Raspberry has taken on all of the tasks I can really delegate to him.
Is this less than 3 months to go stress totally normal? Have you had any breakdowns where you just think, I really do not care what shade of white the napkins are??? I know in the end everything will be beautiful, and I really don’t want to make anymore decisions! I just want to enjoy every moment of the last couple of months…
I apologize for my post not being full of inspiration or ideas… I feel as though there are several of you out there feeling exactly the same way and I wanted to communicate that you are not the only one!
I hear ya! When we were in the early planning stages almost a year ago, we went to a wedding where plenty of things either hadn’t been thought of or didn’t go as planned, and you know what? That couple is happily married.
I got a book out of the local library last fall called “Weddings for Grown-Ups,” and I liked it so much I bought a copy. One of the best things it says is to worry about the stuff that’s important to you, and leave the rest. You’re right: no one will care what shade of white the napkins were.
Take a day off. Tell ‘em the weddingbee readers said so.
I totally understand! I felt the same way for a while, so I took a few days and forced myself to not think about anything related to the wedding and enjoyed some good time with FI. After that, I was ready to get back into it, with the reminder of what all the planning is really for: FI and I will be starting our lives as husband and wife, which is ultimately the most important thing.
Take a deep breath and put the wedding stuff away for a day or two and refocus on yourself. 
I’m at the same point - just less than three months out. It’s starting to hit home how much still has to be done, and that there isn’t time to do it later anymore. I’ve started quite a few DIY projects, and I need to sit down and figure out which ones I will finish and when.
This past weekend I got two of my bridesmaids, my two best friends, to come over and help me put together my invitations. That was a big help, and they were glad to get together and chat. So I definitely recommend putting your wedding party to work if you can!
Definitely! And all that stress can show on your face, just in time for wedding photos, so good to relax now. It sounds like you already have stepped back and gotten perspective on what matters. The day after your wedding you have your husband forever, but all the flowers will be wilting and the food and drink will be you-know-where!
You can give yourself permission not to decide minutae anymore. You can: 1) einy meeny miney mo, 2) quit whatever project that’s driving you nuts (custom napkins are nice, but the ones the caterer provides will work fine too), 3) delegate (FMIL or someone will love that you entrusted them with something), 4) throw money at the problem (i.e., pay someone else to manage it — tempting to exceed the budget, tho).
Hey, put something you don’t care about up for a WeddingBee poll/vote and let the decision be made for you?
I’m getting married in 6 weeks (!!!!) and I have chilled out a lot. Last week my bridesmaid and I picked out her dress. It’s totally not the right shade of blue, but it’s a great dress for her. 6 months ago I would have stressed out about the color, but now it is just fine! As long as we are married by the end of the day and everyone has a good time it will be a success!
Yes, I feel like that now, and I’m getting married in five weeks. I know some things just will not get done at this point. Oh well! It seems like every day is another little crisis–today was the mother of the flowergirl throwing up her hands in frustration and cancelling the flowergirl’s dress (yes, five weeks before the wedding), over the weekend I ended up in the hospital and we missed the big sale on wedding bands at Fortunoff…argh!!!
When I would get stressed with little details as seen from the “insider” angle, sometimes I would remember a scene from Fight Club (of all things!) to put in perspective what matters most:
“I got this dress at a thrift store for $1…. It’s a bridesmaid’s dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree. So special. Then bam! It’s on the side of the road. Tinsel still clinging to it…”
YES! I’m at the two month mark and feel a little spastic every time someone asks me about the wedding… i revert to the LEAVE ME ALONE mood. Ha! And I just have to remember that all we really need is my FI, me, and our pastor (oh, and a witness!) Sometimes its just hard to keep that perspective! Good luck!
yes, I felt the exact same as you Miss Raspberry about 2 months ago. I think things begin to shift forward around this time. The stress, anxieties, and overwhelming pressure begin to creep in. But its really great that u notice this now and you begin to see the bigger picture - the real meaning. Great start! Just start thinking positive and everything will follow.
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Mrs. Raspberry, DC/New York Age and Occupation in 07: 24, Owner/Chief Creative Director Fiance's Age in 07: 24, Special Investigator for the government Engagement Date: August 5, 2006 Wedding Date: July 2007 Venue: The Roycroft Inn, East Aurora NY About Me: I love wedding and event planning. I am having a great time with all of my DIY projects and can't wait to share them with all of the WeddingBee Readers (some have to wait until after our wedding)! Other favorites include: cooking, running, tennis, knitting and making crafts. Mr. Raspberry and I also have two dogs - Gewurz, a 2 year old yellow lab and Stella, a 1 year old old cock-a poo.
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