Wedding Blog
Now that we have gotten not one, but TWO actual wedding gifts in the mail, our internal wedding sphere seems to have been expanded out into the public at large! This isn’t just something we talk about…it’s a real live event that other people (who aren’t vendors) are actually involved in! Whoa.
That said, as I was gushing over our new Cuisinart PowerPrep Plus 11-Cup Food Processor to Miss Kiwi…
…she gasped in horror that I was able to discuss in such detail its incredible awesomeness, since it’s before the wedding!
Eeeek.
Are you not supposed to use wedding gifts before the wedding?? For some reason that never even occurred to me! Since I had heard in passing that you’re supposed to send thank you notes for gifts received before the wedding within 2 weeks of receipt (even if that’s still before the wedding), I guess I just internalized the idea of “if you get presents early, you open them” and then added on a little “and if you have opened presents lying around you get to use them” bit myself.
That said, what are your thoughts on what you can or cannot use before the wedding?
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I don’t see anything wrong with opening and using them I mean they’re your gifts and they bought it for you to use–
You open presents at your showers don’t you? What’s the difference between that and getting something in the mail and opening it?
I would have said “HELLS YEAH!”, but my FI doesn’t want to use stuff. Instead we’re opening and then waiting to use things until after the wedding. However, my boss sent her gift way early and specifically told me to start using it because it’s so fun!
How would you send a thank you for something you hadn’t seen? “Maggie, just wanted to drop you a line to say your gift came. It’s got lovely wrapping and it’s… big and square, our favorite adjectives! I’m sure whatever is inside is so thoughtful and more than you should have done for us!”
Or, if you did open it but haven’t used it:
“Gerald, thanks for the Magic Bullet Blender. While I have no idea if this thing works, I love to stare longingly at the box awaiting the day when I can open it. Below is a list of all the wonderful things I can do with it, according to the box of course. Check back after the honeymoon and I’ll give you an update of how often we really use it.”
I don’t think so!!!
haha…we are having the same dilemma. we got a few gifts and have opened them, ready to send the “thank yous”. but when we had the opportunity to use them (servicing dishes), we didn’t because we didn’t know if we were supposed to (and it kinda didn’t feel right). i think it’s up to you, but we’re opening, but not using our gifts prior to the wedding…at least for now 
Hey guys, I’d like to add this because I’m not as insane as it looks- Mr. Kiwi won’t let me use the gifts.
So we’ve opened them, thanked people, and he stored them away in a cupboard (a HIGH one, five footers like me can’t reach) until after the wedding day. Well, except for a set of mixing bowls that we didn’t register for. I get to use those.
So I’m not crazy- Mr. Kiwi is!
I am so in the HELLS YEAH! camp. I mean, come on people…
I’m also that bride who checks her registry at least 3x/week (and I have a feeling that’s going to go up in frequency starting Monday, now that invites for my shower went out two days ago). I know, I know — terrible! I’m not as greedy as I sound…registry stuff and showers are just yet another perk of getting married to my best friend.
I just had this conversation with my FI last night, because we just received our first gift! We were wondering if it’s okay to use stuff before the wedding. Somehow I feel like I should wait. Of course, I’ll probably end up waiting by default, just because I’m way too busy with wedding planning to cook anything fancy with our cool new roaster!
Lol Miss Kiwi, I wouldn’t have thought you’re nuts anyway 
Although Kandace your suggested thank you notes are hysterical!
I am fully in the “HELLS YEAH!” camp with one exception: tableware sets. I mean, since you register for a set of 12, or 8, or however many, and they usually get gifted one or two sets at a time, it would be sort of weird to use them early… “here honey, you can have your dinner on the Denby plate tonight and I’ll use the old cracked one from my college days. Tomorrow is my turn with the nice one!” Plus it just feels wrong to use the wedding plates. But the stand mixer? Bring it. I’m using it the second it arrives.
I’m in the ‘open but do not use’ camp — according to traditional etiquette, you’re not supposed to *just in case* the wedding doesn’t happen. That way, you can return all gifts unused. However, I fully acknowledge that that’s a really negative way to look at things.
My fiance has definite plans to use some items before the wedding — but I’m sure I can talk him into storing most of them…
Sigh, I’ve never been a very patient person…put anything wrapped in front of me and it will be opened in 10 seconds flat! =)
Patience is a virtue, and I apparently don’t have it! =)
Miss Kiwi — My husband had a superstition about using them before the wedding. So we didn’t…. so I let HIM do the vacuuming, with the impossible OLD vacuum and the cooking, with the OLD scratched-up non-stick pan with the wiggly handle. He still didn’t budge, dang!
Hells yeah! I am glad to hear so many rave reviews about it. I also registered for it as well as the mini prep. I was told to get both for big and small jobs. I noticed that was the first thing bought off our registry! Great minds must think alike!
i’m totally in the Hells Yeah category. We have been thoroughly enjoying our pizza stone and Foreman grill and we’re not getting married until next month. I wanted to write in the thank you notes how much we have been using and enjoying them, but didn’t want to admit that we were being bad by using them before the wedding.
oh, not that this is completely on-topic, but today we received a gift from FI’s ex-girlfriend, who isn’t even invited to the wedding. i’m not threatened by it or anything, but it is a bit weird, right?
I am in the “other” category for two reasons:
1) We have yet to receive any gifts and I don’t expect to get any before the wedding. In Canada, or at least Western Canada, guests bring the gifts to the reception. However, if we were to get any beforehand we would likely open them to write a proper thank you card but we won’t open them.
2) We are moving to Red Deer, Alberta (9 hours away) after we get home from our honeymoon so it will just be easier to move everything if they stay in the boxes.
If I weren’t moving I would for sure be in the Hells Yeah camp!
If someone sends you a wedding gift early, then they know it’s early and they can’t care if you use it. If they cared then they would give you the gift AFTER the I DOs are said. I sorta agree that it would be weird to use just one or 2 place settings of flatware or dinnerware or glassware. but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t.
If you get a birthday present early you can open it and use it… even if you haven’t fully turned a new age. I say it also makes up for all the Christmas and birthday presents that aunts and uncles have sent months late in your lifetime.
I’m not going to be opening them beforehand, but that is because all the gifts will be sent to my parents house (central PA), while I live in Washington, DC, and the wedding will be in Philly. Chances are that I will be at my parents’ house in December, and then not again until after the wedding (May), so the gifts that accumulate probably won’t be opened until quite some time AFTER the wedding, just because I won’t be able to get home. I will probably have my mother open the gift and tell me what it is/who sent it so that I can get my thank you notes in the mail.
I’m not going to use any early gifts because, like a previous poster said, etiquette says you have to return them if the wedding is called off. Now, I’m not fond of thinking that something bad would happen, but I feel like I’d be jinxing it if I opened and used a gift before the wedding. Besides, it’s something to look forward to.
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Mrs. Bluebell, New York
Age and Occupation in 07: 26, Finance Manager
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Playing with the cat and/or Consulting
Engagement Date: December 25, 2005
Wedding Date: June 2007
Venue: Bride's family summer home in the Adirondacks
About Me: Trying to find the perfect balance between family tradition (marrying at the house everyone else in my family gets married at), making our's modern, interesting and different from everyone else in my family's, and incorporating some Chinese tradition for my Chinese fiance. I really have no idea what it's going to end up looking like!
Also, I picked Miss Bluebell for my name because I have blue eyes and I'm a loser like that.
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