Wedding Blog
My MOH just called and asked me what I was doing for the June 1st and 2nd weekend. When I said that I didn’t think I had anything planned, she said, “Great! Book the whole weekend off!” But when I asked why she wouldn’t tell me. Now, I was born at night but not last night! Of course I know that this will be some sort of shower/bachelorette party. But to tell you the truth, I am slightly annoyed by this.
Until this point there has been absolutely no discussion of her throwing any sort of party for me. In the beginning I was a little disappointed about that, but I got over it quickly because it just didn’t make sense for her to throw me a bachelorette party. She is the only close friend of mine who still lives in this area who isn’t also 7 months pregnant, and I am not really a bar-star kind of girl. So, I hadn’t been planning on doing anything like this. For her to call now (6 weeks before the wedding) and want to have an entire weekend of my time throws me off a bit!
Don’t get me wrong - I love her to death! Obviously she wouldn’t be my MOH if she and I weren’t very close, and I am grateful and honoured that she would want to throw me a party to celebrate this special event in my life. I just wish she had given me a bit more notice! As you all know every spare moment is precious right now and I don’t have much time to give away. Of course I will make it work somehow, it just adds some extra pressure that I really didn’t need at this point. Did I mention that I have 71 To-Do’s on my Knot checklist this month?
I also wish I knew what she was planning. As a rule, I do not like surprises. And, I think if I knew exactly what I will be doing that weekend, it would make it easier to plan around and I would be able to get more excited for whatever is coming my way. At this point it is just one more thing to add to my already overflowing plate.
Have you had any unexpected or surprise obligations? If so, how did you handle it?
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Wow.
miss pumpkin, take it all in stride. it’s obvious that MOH is trying to make it memorable for you and she probably had no intention of adding to your full plate. be an organized bride…but also a gracious one. who knows, maybe this surprise will be surprisingly FUN!!!
I can see where Miss Pumpkin is coming from. Yes, her MOH is doing something nice, but a whole weekend is a long time, especially so soon before her wedding!
I have 55 things left to do on my list, and the wedding is in 14 days. My bachelorette was supposed to be the weekend before, and my MOH and I decided to postpone it or at least move it to our city so it does not take up the whole weekend.
I definately see where you’re coming from. If I were you I would try to get as much done as possible beforehand and use that weekend to relax and have fun with your friends! I hope it works out for you! Good luck!
This is the most bridezilla-ish post I have every read on this site.
She gave you a full month’s notice, and that’s not enough? You are annoyed that she didn’t tell you sooner because you had resigned yourself to no shower? What is your problem????
You are going to look back and wish you had enjoyed the good parts of this whole pre-wedding time if you continue to focus on checking things off of your “to do” list instead of appreciating blessings like a friend throwing you a shower.
i don’t think it’s the MOST bridezilla post i have read on this site … but it’s close.
i am traveling for work for a week a month and a half for my wedding. i have a life outside of “planning my wedding.” it’s a good thing.
yea. NO offense, but this is one of those times you suck it up and enjoy what your friends are doing. They have lives too (WHAT???) and probably this was the only time they had free too. They are going to be spending their weekend away from their important weekend duties as well. Not everyone who is not planning a wedding just veges infront of the tv all weekend.
miss pumpkin, nevermind the ‘bridezilla’ comments. like you, i don’t like surprises and unexpected changes to my schedule, especially when i have a lot of things to do. being honest with myself, i think i’d be annoyed if the same situation were sprung on me too.
but i also think that the annoyance is mostly just an initial reaction to the news. once the news settles in, i imagine you’ll be more than excited 
hopefully, with the one month’s notice, you’ll be able to work around that weekend. also, since the MOH is a good friend, i’m sure you can wheedle some more info out of her.
She DID asked what you were doing that weekend and your response WAS “I didn’t have anything planned.” I don’t see how inconsiderate your friend is. If I was her, I would be SO hurt by this. If you had those 71 things to take care of, just say so. She can perhaps plan something shorter for you.. maybe just something that can take up 2-3 hours of your precious time. 6 weeks notice is pretty far in advance.
If you are a person who does not like surprises and are a very schedule-oriented person, I would imagine that your MOH should know this, and it is understandable that you are thrown for a loop.
You do NOT sound like a bridezilla, only someone who felt that they had a major obligation thrown on them in a very hectic time in your life. Not having anything planned and being “free” are two totally different things. My MOH and BM made sure that any shower or party was both a convenient time for all involved, and was a reasonable length of commitment.
I agree with oneaudgirl, once you’re less surprised by the idea, you’ll be okay. It’ll be fun and you’ll figure out how to navigate your to-dos around this.
I rearranged my entire schedule around a shower I was told was going to happen and then moved to a very inconvinent time for me, when I could not financially afford to come to the party. My mother and I scraped together the money necessary, and I made it. It was fun, but I was gone for three days and only at my home awake for less than 24 hours. So in three months I had to scrape together two flights when I couldn’t afford one.
It was very stressful, but I smiled and wrote my thank you notes, and knew that if I planned a shower, I would never do that to the bride.
I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. Just remember, their intentions are good, and be grateful. Even if you’re not happy, you tend to cheer up if you smile.
I totally agree with oneaudgirl and Emily. You’re gonna have so much fun, so consider a much needed vacation from your other duties. Have Fun!
Hee, hee, your MOH probably knows darn well that you aren’t a surprise-person, and she’s having a little fun with you. Maybe she thinks the less you know, the more fun it will be for everyone else to get to “haze” you a little. This seems to fall under the caption of must-be-a-good-sport for “roasting” and related teasing of the bride. Some colleges have a tradition of throwing newly-engaged people into the local river, etc. I’m sure MOH is planning something really fun, something she knows you will enjoy.
Looks like you wrote this immediately after she called, so it’s still fresh. Maybe after a couple of days you’ll be looking forward to it instead of feeling like it’s another obligation (understandable — so much to do, so little time). You can probably get her to tell you more about what to do/bring beforehand so you’ll not be stressed that you are completely unprepared.
If you’re still really really bothered, you could ask your mom (or comparable) to get MOH to confide the plan with mom just to have mom “pre-screen” it and then have mom give you a report that it will all be fine or she can help guide the plan to meet any time obligations you have.
Miss P, please disregard those mean Bridezilla comments, sounds like you’re just venting a bit which you’re supposed to do! It’s your blog! It’s totally understandable if you’re the structured type (I am too) and so surprises are less fun-and-exciting than somewhat stressful. That said I’m sure you’re going to have a killer time!
eeek hope you MOH doesnt know your pen name.
The whole point of this time in your life is to celebrate, please don’t let the details keep you from smelling the roses. :o)
If your MOH has never been a bride in a wedding before, she probably didn’t realize that 6 weeks is that short of time. Additionally, your MOH is at the mercy of the guests that she’s inviting on your behalf. If it’s going to be a large affair, she might have had a hard time rounding everyone together until now. I think you should be grateful that she’s planning a surprise for you to take your mind off all the wedding hecticness by planning an event you don’t have to plan or have any hand in except for to just show up.
Yeah. I wish people would stop using the “b” word to judge other brides! What one bride finds not a big deal, another finds stressful…
(I’m friends with both kinds of people and understand where both are coming from.) Also, careful reading is required here. Your wedding is in 6 weeks, and your “bachelorette weekend” is in 4 weeks, right? That seems like it would be a little stressful for me… but I know you’ll have a great time!
ungrateful anyone?
Poor miss pumpkin, I’m starting to be happy that I didn’t get chosen to blog for weddingbee. Some people are mean. But hey, just brush it off miss p- I’m with you. Surprises are very stressful for me and expecially with one so close to the big day. When faced with a simalar situation, I called up my MOH and confessed that I had a mountian of stress over the surprise. I said, “I know it’s unreasonable, but I’m just having so much stress over this, can you please let me in on the plans so I can relax?” Of course, she had no idea how stressed I really was, she wasn’t mad at all, and the party was a blast.
i think your MOH probably didn’t realize that you need more than 6 weeks notice. as for the 71 things, would it be possible for your mother, MOH or other bridesmaids to help out? it might be time to delegate. good luck!
[...] a small update on my previous, somewhat controversial, post on my surprise bachelorette party. First off, I just wanted to say that my last post on this [...]
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Mrs. Pumpkin, Saskatchewan, Canada
Blogger Since: April 10, 2007
Age and Occupation: 28, Lawyer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Farmer
Engagement Date: July 14, 2006
Wedding Date: June, 2007
About Me: I love movies, music and I am addicted to TV. When I have some spare time I also love scrapbooking and making personalized greeting cards and above all playing Hide & Seek or Duck, Duck, Goose with my two adorable nieces!
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