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Mr. Punkin’ and I have been scheduling out our summer this week, and it looks as though we will spend a total of about 34 days together from now until October 1st, including our two week honeymoon. Yikes! At the moment Mr. Punkin’ is in full seeding mode for his and his family’s farms, and so they work from 6:00am until around 10:00pm everyday. He sleeps out at the farm so that he doesn’t have to drive 20 minutes each way every morning and night. For the next month or so, I will only get to see him when/if it rains.
After seeding he will return to work where he will be on the “road crew” which means that he will be traveling all over Saskatchewan fixing other people’s farm equipment and staying in hotels along the way. He will likely do this until about a week before the wedding. After the wedding and our honeymoon, Mr. Punkin’ will be joining the Crossfield “road crew” and traveling all over Alberta. Then starting at the end of August he will come back to Pense to harvest the crops while I will be starting my articling position in Red Deer (9 hours away)!
While I can’t say that I am “okay” with it - because I will miss Mr. Punkin’ dearly - I can say that I am sort of used to it! This is the life of a farmer’s wife/girlfriend and I have been living it for over 13 years now; although, I usually get to spend more time with him in between seeding and harvest. Still, it will be a hard summer for both of us. I don’t think either of us like the idea of being estranged newlyweds, but unfortunately it is what will be our reality. This also leaves me to pack up and clean our current apartment where we have been living for the past 3 years and move everything to storage in Red Deer, plan the rest of the wedding and honeymoon details, and then move to Red Deer and set up our new house by myself in late July.
Do you and your FI have any unique struggles ahead for your first year as newlyweds?
Almost! My fiance was invited to a fairly prestige conference somewhere in Ontario for a month this summer, and only decided not to go when it was determined he would actually miss the wedding–at one point we thought the conference ended the day before the wedding, which he characterized as “perfect!” Um, no.
Him: It’s not a big deal. I mean, it’s an annual thing, so I can go next year.
Me: Yeah, you’ll just miss our anniversary every year for it.
Him: I didn’t even think of that!
I’m also going back to school this fall, after being out for 11 years, so that’s going to be an interesting new stressor. Still, you win!
The year after we are married Fi will have an internship for his masters program. That means one salary for the both of us until ( or if) we get his stipend.
With the wedding the fall before, I hope our accounts can survive until he is finished!
My FI works in consulting and is at a client 3 days a week. This is MUCH better than our previous dating experience, when he was at a client 5 days a week.
God help us when he becomes partner!!
Best of luck to you with the long-distance relationship challenges. I’m a city gal, but help me understand the farming commute — where he will be is 20 minutes each way? Hope that doesn’t make it impossible to get together (or meet mid-way) for the occasional visit on non-rainy days? Maybe the drive is too hard because he’s falling-asleep exhausted after those long workdays or the roads are hazzardous? Anyway, hope you will get to see each other more often.
P.S. My hats is also off to military wives for their many sacrifices, including constant moves and going 8+ months without a husband at home.
Hi Iris,
Yeah, his farm is 20 minutes outside of the city where my parents live and where I will be staying for most of the summer. It isn’t a hazzardous drive, but he will be exhausted (and very dirty!) so it is much easier on him to just shower and then fall into bed right there. We will definitely see each other when it rains and I will likely go out and help farm some afternoons but his parents are not too keen on my sleeping over, even though we have lived together for over 7 years now.
I absolutely second your comment on military wives! I can’t imagine how hard that would be. Many of them have young children at home as well! Good reminder of how lucky I am, Iris!
I hear you, Miss Pumpkin. Safety & sanity come first, for certain!
On the bright side, if you’re an absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder couple, a little time apart can keep the spark extra sparky. : )
I can top that story — my fiance and I will be living 350 miles apart for our first three years of married life. He’ll be doing his residency in Philadelphia (where he matched for radiology), and I’ll be staying in D.C. until I finish my Ph.D. The only way we could remain in the same place would be for him to delay his residency for 3 years and then do nothing in the meantime except sit at home (an M.D. is useless without a residency) or for me to drop out of graduate school, and I haven’t been working 80 hours/week in the lab to just up and quit.
So, we’ll see each other maybe 6-8 times/year for the first 3 years, and then hopefully I will find a post-doctoral position in Philly and will finally get to live with him.
I don’t have that kind of story, but my cousin does. She’s getting married at the beginning of June, and in August she starts a new job 3 states away from where she lives now. Her then-husband won’t be able to go with her, because he’s finishing his last year of grad school in their current state. They’ll spend most of their first married year apart with only a few visits.
Total hats off to farmers’ wives! Some of the absolute hardest working people that put up with alot, besides crazy hours! But I can’t WAIT to be one… it really is something to be proud of!
My FI graduates from grad school 2 wks before the wedding. After the wedding one of several things will happen.
(a) His job will be several states away and I’ll finish out the school year in my current position [the second half dependent on other external factors we cannot control]
(b) His job will be in state and I’ll finish out the school year
(c) His job will be out of state and I’ll move with him.
I hate that there are so many unknowns in the next year. At least, unknowns that will have a great effect on my/our life but we have absolutely no control over them.
I will be teaching at a university in DC for two months this summer while my FI stays in Minnesota–and returning home 2 weeks before the wedding. I’m going nuts trying to get everything done now before I leave!
On the other hand, a good friend of mine got married in December, and she will be teaching in Qatar for a semester while her husband finishes his masters in the US. So her situation stinks more than mine!
I just hope that when I go on the academic job market, we don’t end up having to spend too much time apart while he finds a job in our new location.
My husband is in the military. He’s relocating to be “only” 150 miles away in about a month and a half, but even that’s an improvement over being on opposite coasts these past six months (he was deployed 11 before that). It basically came down to accepting that the military has first claim on his time for the next four years, and for the next three we won’t have as much time as we’d want to have together. What we do have is mutual love and support for each other, as well as each other’s goals and aspirations, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to support each other through this temporary inconvenience so we can build the life we want to have together.
We are not married or engaged yet, but we’ve been dating 6+ yrs and lived together for 5 until I got a new job and moved to Chicago ( from NYC) 5 weeks ago. So now I live a life of semi-single girl while he is non-eligible bachelor back at home. I am not sure how long are we going to do this for, but we were thinking of revisiting the situation in a year and move to one ciy together again.
[...] the next three months while our house is being built, I’m living with my parents. And as I blogged about earlier, Mr. Pumpkin is either living and working on the farm or is on the road with work. As [...]
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Mrs. Pumpkin, Saskatchewan, Canada Blogger Since: April 10, 2007 Age and Occupation: 28, Lawyer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Farmer Engagement Date: July 14, 2006 Wedding Date: June, 2007 About Me: I love movies, music and I am addicted to TV. When I have some spare time I also love scrapbooking and making personalized greeting cards and above all playing Hide & Seek or Duck, Duck, Goose with my two adorable nieces!
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