Open Question
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Open Question
May 8th, 2007 @ 2:23 pm by Open Question
We decided on a Sunday wedding to save money. It’s an evening wedding, because the reception venue won’t let us start any earlier than 5 pm. Originally, I was fine with the possibility of guests leaving early, because I know our closest friends and fam are cool with taking Monday off from work. (And guests leave early from Saturday weddings, right?) But now I’m starting to have “Sunday guilt.” Will people see our wedding as an inconvenience?
Jen
25 Responses to “Open Question”
The best advice anyone has ever given me about planning a wedding is “No matter what you do, someone will complain”. I guess the more positive side of that could be “no matter what you do, someone will love it and be happy with your decision” 
We have a somewhat similar situation in that we’re having a Friday wedding, so everyone will have to at least take a 1/2 day off on Friday (no one lives close to the location), and most people will have to take the whole day off. We saw it as built in guest number control. We know that all the people there REALLY want to be there. I wouldn’t worry about it, people who really want to be there will make the effort. Good luck!
If you are doing traditions (cake cutting, garter/boquet, etc.) would just try to have them occur fairly early in the evening (not TOO fast or smushed together, but just not stretching too late) so anyone who really has to leave early-ish won’t feel they missed anything or be worrying that they can’t leave because they must wait until you cut the cake and it’s already 9:52, dangit!
That said it should be clear that the party will continue until X:00 p.m. so those who can stay know to pace themselves and not feel the party is winding down.
No matter what, it seems older people and families with little kids always leave early, so just plan for the “bulk” of guests.
Hi Jen,
Don’t feel guilty in the least. It’s your wedding day and that means that any day of the week that you choose to celebrate your love with the man of your life matters. And those people who want to celebrate that love with you and know how important it is to you - will go. Life is not always convenient and weddings don’t come by very often. I think people will see it as an opportunity to celebrate your love and understand that weddings are happy reunions and celebrations of love, life and laughter. No guilt! And if people use that “Sunday excuse” then perhaps, just perhaps, they were not going to attend anyway. I could be wrong. I just know that I would take off any day from Sunday through Sunday for someone who is getting married who too kthe time and thought to invite me. 
Absolutely some people will be inconvienenced and will feel that way. But people feel that way about Saturdays too. I’ve always found it strange the people who get their panties all up in a bundle over the slightest inconvienence at a wedding. As a guest, I am there to celebrate with the Bride and Groom - my focus isn’t on how comfortable I am. So I’m always surprised by those that get all uptight about a short walk from a parking lot or missing their usual sunday night tv show.
Just decide if it is more important to you to have as many people there as possible, or if you are okay with just celebrating with those close to you if others leave early.
I’m in the same boat as you are, since we are having a Friday evening wedding. People are going to complain, but remember that it’s not about your guests. It’s about you and your future husband celebrating your marriage and the life you will share together.
Yes, people will be inconvenienced. Oh well. I’m having a Sunday wedding too, an afternoon wedding, though. A guest of mine has to go to a Sunday evening wedding a few weeks after mine, and was complaining to me about it recently, that she’ll have to take the day off, etc, but it’s a relative and she has no choice. So you’ll probably get some refusals due to it being a Sunday, and you’ll get people leaving early. All you can do is, as someone said, move things like the cake cutting a little earlier in the evening than usual, and then you should make sure it’s the best party *ever,* so that no one wants to leave!
i wanted to avoid sunday so people didn’t feel they needed to take monday off…but family who owned businesses said saturday wasn’t as good..so i decided to accomodate and went with sunday. now some feel that my location is inconvenient…but i’ve decided that i can’t accomodate everybody…so oh well!
Coming from someone who just went to a Sunday evening wedding, I will say that I initially found it to be an inconvenience. My fiance and I would rather have had a day off after the wedding. But all that doesn’t matter. We enjoyed the event. And we were happy to be there on our friend’s special day. Sure, we were a bit tired the next day. But I don’t regret going. And anyone who cares about you will not either. Good luck!
Miss Tulip–I don’t agree with that–it’s not just about you and your future husband. If it’s just about the bride and groom celebrating their marriage, then why spend thousands of dollars–tens of thousands of dollars–on having guests?
i think non-saturday weddings are a great idea. as a guest, i don’t mind at all. maybe if more brides took that route, the wedding industry will be more reasonable w/ the cost! supply and demand…
I recently had a Sunday evening wedding and it was fine. People can refuse (and did) if it doesn’t fit in their schedule. But the majority of the guests came and left early (around 8:30-9pm), which was fine with me because they were older folks. The younger crowd stayed til the end and we had a blast.
Seriously, everyone should PRETEND they want Fri/Sun weddings so maybe the cost of Sat weddings will come down!
my parents are small business owners, so they only get sundays off, which is why we chose to do it then. we’re starting the reception @ 4:30 and going until 9:30. we figured that would give people enough time to get home (my family lives a little over an hour away) if they needed to. we’ve gotten a bunch of complaints (even from my own mom, who is the reason why we’re having it on sunday) b/c most of them will end up staying overnight, but we are trying to have some events available so hopefully staying overnight will be worthwhile (being around for post wedding breakfast, opening up our house on saturday so people don’t have to hang in the hotel, etc.). in the end it doesn’t matter when you have it, someone will have a problem with it. my reasoning to my mom was that it will be ONE day that she would be inconvenienced, not a whole year.
this is a both yes and a no for me. yes, i find it inconvenient that a wedding is on a sunday. even if it starts at 5pm, the reception runs pretty late. i would suggest that you end everything (cake cutting, bouquet tossing) by 9:45pm at the latest so that people can get home. at the same time, if its a close friend, then its not going to stop me from going. =)
I am having my wedding on a Sunday on a 3 day weekend (before Labor Day) to get the ‘Saturday effect’, but I have no doubt that people will still complain… maybe about how I took their 3 day weekend away or something. Who knows, and who cares? I am also attending a FRIDAY wedding in June that is on the other end of the country (even though the couple lives 2 hours drive away from me), where I have to take time off my new job on Thursday AND Friday. Super inconveinient? YES. Costly? Ah-huh. Should they be bothered by this? Absolutely not. I will be happy to be there to watch them get married and I will certainly have a good time. If someone doesn’t feel it’s conveinient enough for them, they have the option to ‘decline with regrets.’ Right?
retarded speller apologizes: *convenient*
I just came back from a Sunday night wedding this past weekend. At first, it seemed like an inconvenience BUT I care so much for my girlfriend that I didn’t even bat an eye. It was a 3 hour drive away from where I live. I took Monday off of work and drove back. I still had plenty of time to do stuff at home before coming into work today. Your true friends and family will be there…and that is all that counts!
I’m having a Sunday evening wedding in October and so far I haven’t heard complaints from family members or close friends. I decided to hold a Sunday wedding because I am saving over $30 per plate!
I’m having a Friday wedding and I felt quite a bit of guilt about it at first, even though it was my idea to have it on Friday. But the further I get into the process the more I think “you know what? This is such a small deal in life that people can come or not, and suck it up.” I know that sounds kind of harsh… but I have enough to worry about without adding unnecessary guilt into the mix. I’ve been to Friday weddings before and yeah, they were sort of inconvenient, but it’s really not THAT big of a deal. If guests want to come, they’ll make it happen regardless.
Yeah, when you think back to a wedding, do you ever really think, “Man, that was inconvenient”…Or, “I sure was tired the next day”?
I think your guests will leave early, but if you’re okay with that, then I see no reason to change it. Out of town guests who cannot take Monday off probably won’t make it.
We are doing a Sunday wedding bc we wanted more time to spend with people. We are making a weekend out of it with a big party on Sat nite too. I don’t think Sundays are a problem if you have a smaller size wedding (we are having ~125).
The reeption ends at 10 - plenty of time to have people in bed at their homes by midnite.
being a destination bride, i struggled with this as well. but like most people already mentioned, it will certainly be an inconvenience for some. but for those who love you and wouldn’t miss it for the world, it will be a good excuse to take a monday off work or to free up their saturday to do some last-minute shopping for the big day (or some other positive spin). don’t worry about it. and remember how much money you’ll be saving!
Its Sunday for me too.
I figure out of town guests have to take Friday off to attend a Saturday wedding anyway, so whats the big deal about taking Monday off instead? Seems to me there is a social stigma about taking any day off but Fridays, but its really just arbitrary anyway.
Oh course some may see it as that but well they are NOT paying for the wedding are they! I say feed them well, be prepared for an early departure by some…and you will be fine=)
