Weddingbee Blog

Well, I’ve been a fired bridesmaid. Not my best time, but still. I’m still hurt (as she was my best friend at the time) but life goes on. She’s got two kids now and we don’t talk. She fired me without a word, until I finally had to ask what the hell was going on. When she told me, I didn’t say anything else to her and our friendship was done.

Now that I’m planning my own wedding, it still stings, but there is nothing you can really do about it. I mean, what would come of it?

And to be honest, who would even care about a friend who would do that to you? If she stole your idea and kicked you out of her party, let it go- she must not have been that good of a person after all.

I say good riddance, and don’t even bother asking her about it, it’s just going to make you look obsessive. Some people are just rude.

Ew I get angry just thinking about this and I’m not even involved! I think you’re better off without her, all that time and energy is wasted on her if you’re hurt all the time.

There’s nothing you can do to make this situation any better, so I think the best thing is to just let it drop. It might make you feel better for a few minutes to write her a nasty note, but I think that sort of thing leaves a bad taste later on, and I’m sure it wouldn’t have any effect on her–if she cared about the opinions of others, she wouldn’t act the way she does. Could have been worse, you could have been “fired” after you spent a lot of money on the wedding–dress, shower, bachelorette party, presents, etc. (I’m hoping you *didn’t* spend that money yet.) Count yourself lucky that you got out now, and go back to planning your own wedding.

Oh, Miss Lovebug, this is horrible, but I do LOVE your posts!!! Great title! I’d say etiquette be damned, do whatever makes you feel best about this at this point. And please update us with whatever that is!

I believe the proper etiquette for this is to let karma have it’s way.

If this kind of behavior is repeated by your “friend” on a regular basis, then it’s not surprising that she would do it to you– the one who constantly gives her second chances. Not to sound like I’m going against you but you’re nothing special to her and she’s obviously proven that– so treat her the same way.

Sometimes, enough is enough. I believe that time has come for you. There is nothing more you can do for her or for your “friendship”– you’ve done more than you could ever be asked to do. There’s no sense in wasting more time on reconciling, unless you really have to know why. And if the reason really matters to you then you should ask for closure’s sake but don’t expect her to be apologetic about anything– from the looks of it, as you’ve said yourself, she’s self centered and no one else will matter more to her than herself… don’t let her get to you, you deserve so much more in a friend so move on, there are bigger fish to fry!

The good news is - she won’t be around to steal the rest of your wedding along with your date and STDs.

I’m a little bit confused. She sent you a STD–which implies that you’ll be getting an invitation. But within a week, she’s dropped you as a bridesmaid without tell you. And still expects you to attend the wedding? Strange, to say the least.

If I were you, I’d drop it. You certainly have the right to demand an explanation, but I can’t imagine anything she might say that would bring any satisfaction to you. Sending her a letter and demanding to know why she did all this will only serve to prolong the “plot” and bring you further grief. I’d cut my losses now and move on.

I think you can use her changed website as a conversation starter for a conversation that leaves you a graceful way out. Even if it’s just a message you leave on her machine, it could go something like, “Hi, I looked up your wedding website today to [view your registry, get directions, check wedding news, etc.] and I noticed my name came off the bridesmaid list. I’m not sure if that’s a mistake or you’ve had a change of heart, but I’m trying to make plans so please call to discuss as soon as you can.”

BTW, I liked your story except I got really turned off at the “Now for the subplot” paragraph which I thought was pretty judgmental sounding. This part made me much more empathetic towards her. We all have that special lovable wacky friend who makes personal choices/mistakes we wouldn’t (or so we think), but all the more reason to just love her anyway the way she is. We don’t need to approve or even like whoever she’s dating/marrying or the circumstances of their relationship. None of our business to pass judgment there. [OK, thanks for listening.]

I agree with May karma always has a way of finding mean people. Just shrug it off and consider it a favor that you don’t have such a bad friend and you don’t have to deal with her stealing your great ideas anymore.

That totally sucks. But life is too short to waste precious energy on negative people. And she sounds like one of the most miserable and negative people in the world!

As difficult as it may be, I don’t think it’s worth it to try to contact her, let her know how you feel, etc. She doesn’t exactly have a track record of good communication. Besides, it’s not like she’s going to have an “aha” moment where she suddenly says “OMG you are so right, I AM a totally selfish, crazy, mean, miserable, dumb witch!” She’ll probably just spin things to make you look crazy. In my experience these kinds of people usually self destruct, and it sounds like she’s well on her way.

The best revenge is living well. Good luck Miss Lovebug!