Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA
Engagement Date: March 31, 2006
Wedding Date: November 3, 2007
Venue: Radisson Hotel
About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
Last night I was perusing the various wedding accessories websites and wondered something: do we NEED to buy cake cutters and servers? I mean, seriously, what am I going to do with porcelain handled knives after that one day?
I know the wedding industry is all about “getting” things for the wedding day. With all the toasting flutes, ring pillows, and flower baskets being advertised I constantly feel like I NEED these things to make our wedding right. It’s kinda of funny how easily impressionable I am. Usually, I’m the girl who refuses to be swayed with what is “cool”. I still wear a shirt from girl scout camp when I was 8! I’m a freakin’ nerd, man.
So, as I was trying to pick out our cake cutters I thought, “Ya know what? I don’t need these. We don’t need to have some special knives to make our day perfect.” We’re using the hotel’s cake knife and we’re going to LIKE it. 
If a regular knife is just fine for my home made cakes, I think a regular knife is also just fine for our wedding cake.
Is there something wedding-related that you are just refusing to buy into?
46 Responses to “No Thanks”
I was just looking at cutters last night. I too have decided to skip it. Now debating on toasting flutes…
we didn’t get cake knives or toasting glasses. We used what the venue provided, and it was just fine. No one noticed or cared that we didn’t have those fancy things.
No cake knives, no toasting glasses, no flower girl basket, no ring bearer pillow, no customized napkins/matchbooks/etc, no bubbles, no sparklers, no cake topper. You get the idea. Save your $$$, people!
I feel like I should buy a personalized hoodie, but so far I’ve been doing well holding back.
I said NO to: toasting flutes, ring pillow and flower baskets, cake knives, any sort of pew decorations… I’m not a “things” kind of girl.
Also: I have a strong distaste for the personalized hoodies. A little too “princess bride” for me.
I will not get anything from the category of T-shirts or hoodies or totes or slippers with “Bride” or “soon to be Mrs. so-and-so” bedazzled across it. I agree, what’s wrong with a regular ole knive and server?
Totally off-topic, I’m sorry, but is anyone else suddenly receiving updates to threads they’re not subscribed to?
Toasting flutes and cake topper I did spend a little more than i would but i was thinking more of an heirloom for my daughters when they get married.
As for the other stuff, I refuse to pay the $25+ for a ring pillow, I paid $2 for my flower girl basket, and I bought a plain cake server set from another bride for $10.
we got our cake knife and server for $5 at Ross. our venue doesn’t have them so we had to get something. i don’t make cakes, so i knew i didn’t need to get something that i would keep forever and use all of the time. our toasting flutes are a gift from FI’s brother and we’re planning on drinking out of them on every anniversary. otherwise, no flower girl or ring bearer and none of the stuff that goes along with them. i’m making favors that are super cheap but really cute. a friend is making our cake topper. you just need to find out what all of your friend’s talents are and utilize them!
no cake knives (using the venue’s), no toasting flutes (using the venue’s), no flower petals on cake, cake table or placecard table, no customized napkins too.
i’m trying to skip the pew decorations (which our church recommended) but i might lose that battle with FI and his family.
I have a fun suggestion that we are using for our wedding, because we also have no use for a “cake cutter”…
My Fiance is a sous chef, and loves a particular brand of fancy chef knifes (the blades actually looks like they are wood grain, they are pretty neat) - Anyhow, he/we can never have enough good knives, so…
In lieu of the traditional cake cutter set we will be getting another one of his dream knives for the collection. It will be fun, useful, and most of all my love will be so happy
(I think that this idea could work for anyone who loves to cook, although I guess that it probably makes more sense with a chef because knifes like that are big and noticable…)
okay, I need to confess: I am buying a “Just married” sweater. Why? So we can get free stuff in Vegas. I am a greedy, greedy girl.
OMG!!! i was *just* thinking about this! I was having these internal conversations..”do i really need it?” same with the flutes. So we are skipping both. I think I’ll use my parents cake server. And I am pretty sure we are skipping favors too. The last wedding I went to didn’t have them and no one minded, as well as a couple weddings a friend went to. no cake topper either.
For me, skipping such things was a no-brainer to eliminate unnecessary hassles/worries/time-suckers and save on the budget (because I am not sentimental personally about these things). So, yes, we did not think twice about skipping the cake cutter and server and especially the toasting flutes. Chance of crystal being forgotten or breaking on the way there or back = 99%. (When I go to a restaurant or hotel, I figure I’m paying for them to provide these basic things.) Also skipped ring pillow, as the best man carried the rings in his pocket. And was not ever intereseted in the tiara, unity candles, napkins, matchbooks, bubbles, etc. Lots of extras.
BUT I totally understand that some people are sentimental and about these things, so if that’s how you feel, but you don’t want to spend extra, an idea is to use new items you receive as wedding gifts, e.g., you’ve registered for the glasses or cake cutter/server that match your pattern anyway. Or borrow from family/friends if they have a sentimental or beautiful set.
The “Wedding Industry” does its best to impose guilt upon us to invest in traditions we did not even know existed, so if the product du jour means nothing special to you and yours personally, skip it.
I’m not getting any extras (we’re not having a cake, so no cake server; we’re not having a ring bearer, so no ring pillows, I don’t like wearing emblazoned clothes, so no personalized hoodies, etc.). Everyone keeps saying how much money I’m saving, but since I never planned to buy them in the first place, I don’t consider it money saved!
The one thing I do feel a tiny qualm about is the OOT basket/bag. I just don’t feel our OOT guests need any kind of welcome basket. I’ve never received one as a guest, and I never thought the lack of it was gauche. I didn’t even know they existed until I started reading all this wedding planning stuff! We’re feeding them a great meal and we’ll have a great party, we will be truly grateful for everyone’s presence….I just can’t see spending the money.
skipped the cutters and toasting flutes. when we cut into the cake using the reception site’s knife, it broke! oops! it made for a pretty funny moment. the cake was so big, no one saw or knew what was going on but us.
we also skipped the printed cocktail napkins. i find that to be totally useless.
i bought $3 ring pillows at michael’s. i bought baskets at christmas tree shops for $2, spray painted them white, and added a ribbon bow for the flower girls.
i didn’t get a personalized hoodie but my MOH surprised me the morning of with a white sweatshirt with “bride” on the back, and white pants with “mrs. so and so” on the butt. so cute and i still wear them! she made them with iron-on letters.
our cake was topped with a bouquet of icing flowers… free 
i did get bubbles for the kids. $5 for a box of 50. i am the total bargain shopper!!!!!
We used the cake knife from my grandparents 50th anniversary party (and then returned it to my mom). We also skipped the monogram cake topper that I thought we needed. But at $80 for the one we wanted, it wasn’t worth it. Our cake lady just added some extra pearl beading to the top and it looked perfect.
I wasn’t going to get a cake server, but someone…somewhere…the knot? I forget…anyway someone said they were getting the cake server that matched their everyday silver pattern. That makes total sense to me, because I would happily eat cake every day.
I also feel hesitant about the out-of-town baskets. We have a lot of oot guests for our wedding, but I think I’m just going to take the time to write up really great packets for them with all the information they could ever want about LA (tourist attractions, all kinds of restaurants, driving directions everywhere, contact info, etc.) I think this packet with a handwritten card for me is still a nice touch and it saves me money. If money were no object, I would totally do the basket though
We forgot to use our toasting flutes and our caterer forgot to leave their cake knife on the table. So, they made the cake cutting announcement, the music is playing and we realized, no knife at all.
Since we also had cupcakes I just grabbed one and tried to get DH to do the same. He was like a deer in headlights - no ability to change course. Finally someone handed us a butter knife.
Yes, people noticed we didn’t have a cake knife but it was a very funny moment.
The only reason we have toasting flutes is because we got them free for registering at Crate and Barrel during their Sunday Morning Engagements. Confession: the 30 or so things we put on our registry that morning have since been moved to our other existing registries, or taken off the list. So, we registered for the free flutes!
Walmart has a small wedding section that has plain stuff for cheap. Our venue doesn’t have anything, so I’m going to buy a very cheap cake cutting set out of necessity, not desire.
As for OOT bags, the hotels around here are really hard to work with for some reason (did anyone else have to pay a deposit to book rooms or pay for whatever wasn’t booked at the end?) so we’re providing hotel info for those who have never been here, but seeing as we’re not getting them a discount, we could potentially have people spread across the Metroplex! So, OOT bags would be silly to try to deliver and make sure we got everyone.
I wasn’t going to buy a cake knife or server, then I saw some really pretty vintage ones on eBay for hardly any money, so I bought them. I’m a sucker for vintage kitchenalia! They each came in their wonderfully Fifties original boxes. And I bake a lot so they’re nice things to have. But I didn’t get toasting glasses, nor am I going to do out-of-town baskets. I’m wavering about bathroom baskets, but I might do them, just because I want my guests to be as comfortable as possible, and if there’s an “emergency,” I want people to be able to fix it and get back to the party. We also didn’t get personalized napkins or matchbooks, or anything personalized like a hoodie or T-shirt. So pointless! I did get a flowergirl basket and ring pillow because the kids need something to concentrate on while walking down the aisle. However, together they cost less than $20.
We opted to get our own cake cutting set only because our venue is a Chinese restaurant and i have seen horror pics where the bride and groom had to settle for a beat up wooden handled chopping knife. We didn’t want to leave it to chance of having a weird pic like them.
Somthing cheap and simple will do. Borrow a set from a recently married family member.
Most of our guests have to travel, so the increasingly fancy OOT gift bags would be an absurd expense. They’re also all invited to what would normally be a rehearsal dinner, which we’re now calling a “welcome party” instead. At the party they’ll get a copy of the proposal crossword puzzle, an extra copy of the map from the invitation, directions to the nearby national seashore, contacts for bike rentals, seal-watching, and a few other activities, and most importantly the cell phone number of one of the groom’s uncles, who volunteered to be the Guy Who Gives Directions to Lost Visitors. I expect a cost of around a quarter per family–less if I can get it all on one page.
Yes, I’m using this comment as a to-do list for myself, you wanna make something of it?!
While I’m still on the fence as far as cake cutters and servers, my outdoors loving FI thinks it would be fine to use a pocket knife. That got a quick veto from me!
Oh, now I have a totally off-topic pocket knife story. At a friend’s wedding, the bride’s bothers and cousins decided to wrap the getaway car in saran wrap to foil the getaway. My friend the groom approached the car and announced, “My grandfather, after whom I am named, when asked ‘Do you have a knife’ would respond, ‘Am I wearing pants?’” He then took his knife out of his pocket, cut off the saran wrap, and drove away.
I’ve been married for 21 years and hope my comments will give you some food for thought. My husband and I are fairly simple, unpretentious people although we live a comfortable middle class lifestyle. He’s mid to upper level managerr with a large company and I chase kids.
When we married we used the cake knife that was part of our flatware set. It was a piece I thought I’d never use again but if I was going to have one it might as well match everything else. Surprisingly it is a piece I use regularly–for gatherings of family, friends or neighbors; for cakes, pies, stratas among other things. Nothing else cuts as well as it does, looks as good or sends the message that this is a special occasion in the same way.
My sister gave us champagne glasses that we used at our reception (she gave us 4 which my husband and I used along with the best man and matron of honor–my sister). Two of the four glasses were taken from the table at the reception and we were never able to recover them.
i was going through the same debate about the cake servers and champage glasses. i don’t want to spend needless money on things that i might not use… it’s a dilemma. darn the wedding industry. darn you!!
For a military wedding, you can use the groom’s (or bride’s) sword to cut the cake. Just clean off every bit of frosting before you slide it into the scabbard, or it will never be clean again.
My site doesn’t provide anything to cut a cake and I don’t want to pay a lot for something I won’t use again. I’ve turned to ebay and oriental trading for an inexpensive option.
Miss Kiwi - I love this post! It’s all about getting and doing what’s actually meaningful not a bunch of junk that is going to sit around your house years after the wedding.
I’m with you. We didn’t do cake cutters, toasting flutes, no one threw anything at us after we got married, the garter I wore is the garter I threw (I paid $3 for it), and we didn’t have a cake topper.
Our wedding was a blast and people still had an awesome time!
I, too, am in the midst of this major debate…I think we might go for the cake knife, but skip the toasting glasses…
I need your strength. I’m such a sucker for “wedding stuff.” No mrs. hoodies for me though–I did hold of on something.
I had not intended to get toasting flutes or a cake set. But, my DH *really* wanted a set of crystal flutes that we would keep and use forever, so I let him select and purchase those. Then, his grandmother offered us his great-grandmothers cake set. We obviously couldn’t, and didn’t want to, refuse.
That said, I’m all for not buying extras if they have no meaning for you. We skipped a lot of extras that had no particular meaning for us.
I’m not having a flower girl OR a ring bearer — how’s that for sticking it to the wedding industry??
cake cutter & server - we just used the the recption sites… same for the flutes..
I know this isn’t a popular belief, but I don’t buy into the whole “THE Dress” thing. So many people keep telling me that I must have THE Dress regardless of the cost, because it makes the day. It doesn’t make the day, it is the man that I am marrying that makes the day.
Color coordinated favor boxes. Why am I paying so much to get this SPECIFIC color of cardboard?
Toasting flutes, cake cutters, favors (who really keeps most of that anyway?), going out sparklers/bubbles, flowers for the alter/at the end of the pews, unity candle, and I’m not having people stand up when I come in. Granted that last one won’t save me any money, but I just don’t see the point…
same here. i refused to buy toasting flutes, cake cutters, the whole nine yards! we planned on riding off into the sunset, and I didn’t want someone having to deal with the messy cleanup. Like Emily, we also didn’t have flowers at the end of the pews, a unity candle, etc… but, we did have bubbles for the departure. they were only $24 at Target and I couldn’t resist!
I thought the same about both flutes and cake server/knife but we ended up getting them as engagement gifts. They didn’t match because we didn’t register and didn’t have an engagement party so we exchanged them for something we liked rather than return them. Had we had to buy them ourselves, we wouldn’t have.
Now we have to find a place to store all this stuff after the wedding. GAAAAHHH!!!
No bridesmaids!!! Who needs the stress!? I certainly don’t. Yeah, seriously, I am not having bridesmaids…
Kar, you just gave me the best idea! My FI loves those knives, and how cool would it be to have it there as a surprise gift for him at the wedding as we cut the cake!
Kendra, I think we’re going to borrow my FI’s family’s toasting flutes, too.
Petra, I was this close to having no bridesmaids. Instead, I’m having my “Phenomenal Women.” Dresses not matching, maybe no bouquets. Trying to keep it low-maintenance.
