Weddingbee

CNN posted an article a few days ago discussing the drop in divorces (which peaked in 1981; personally, I blame Dallas). Very interesting stuff, as experts are arguing over the possible causes–and whether this is even good news.

From the article:

“Some experts say relationships are as unstable as ever — and divorces are down primarily because more couples live together without marrying.

Other researchers have documented what they call “the divorce divide,” contending that divorce rates are indeed falling substantively among college-educated couples but not among less-affluent, less-educated couples.”

Some statistics from the piece:

“The number of couples who live together without marrying has increased tenfold since 1960; the marriage rate has dropped by nearly 30 percent in past 25 years; and Americans are waiting about five years longer to marry than they did in 1970.”

As a bride-to-be of 31, I’m certainly proof of that last line. And this I found particularly interesting, as a child of divorce:

“In the past 30 years, we’ve had more divorce than any culture has ever had,” he said. “A lot of young adults now are coming out of the family upheaval of the ’70s, and they are cohabiting out of fear. They don’t want to mess up the nice clean carpet of marriage - they saw their parents do that…

Other experts, however, are heartened by what they view as the increased determination of many couples to make marriage work…’People don’t see marriage problems as some sort of stigma any more,’ said [one expert]. ‘They’re really interested in learning how to stay married; a lot of them are realizing they need more skill.’”

I’m the daughter of the Original Cynic, my father. I grew up inundated with disparaging comments about marriage, which sucked in its own right (any parental negativity does, really). But it was especially hard because it made me hesitant to share my engagement with my dad. So it’s tempting for me to think, “Take that, Dad!” about the divorce drop…but if it’s only because more couples are just living together out of wedlock, does it really count?

What do you think? Is the drop due to better educated couples staying together? Due to modern couples’ willingness to work harder at the marriage? Or are these statistics not really cause for celebration, since it means more couples are just co-habitating?