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Mrs. Lovebug Mrs. Lovebug, Tucson Age and Occupation in 06: 31, Writer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Professional Game Show Contestant Engagement Date: February 18, 2007 Wedding Date: April 19, 2008 Venue: Historic Inn About Me: Likes: blogging, wikis, semi-colons, cuddling, fragrant flowers, syntax, and spooning. Dislikes: typos, dangling modifiers, flypaper, citronella candles, and run-ons. If I had my druthers, I'd exchange simple vows in a candlelit library. But I lost my druthers long ago...anyone seen them?
 
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Mrs. Lovebug, Tucson Age and Occupation in 06: 31, Writer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Professional Game Show Contestant Engagement Date: February 18, 2007 Wedding Date: April 19, 2008 Venue: Historic Inn About Me: Likes: blogging, wikis, semi-colons, cuddling, fragrant flowers, syntax, and spooning. Dislikes: typos, dangling modifiers, flypaper, citronella candles, and run-ons. If I had my druthers, I'd exchange simple vows in a candlelit library. But I lost my druthers long ago...anyone seen them?
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Divorce Rate Lowest Since 1970

May 18th, 2007 @ 5:21 pm by Mrs. Lovebug

CNN posted an article a few days ago discussing the drop in divorces (which peaked in 1981; personally, I blame Dallas). Very interesting stuff, as experts are arguing over the possible causes–and whether this is even good news.

From the article:

“Some experts say relationships are as unstable as ever — and divorces are down primarily because more couples live together without marrying.

Other researchers have documented what they call “the divorce divide,” contending that divorce rates are indeed falling substantively among college-educated couples but not among less-affluent, less-educated couples.”

Some statistics from the piece:

“The number of couples who live together without marrying has increased tenfold since 1960; the marriage rate has dropped by nearly 30 percent in past 25 years; and Americans are waiting about five years longer to marry than they did in 1970.”

As a bride-to-be of 31, I’m certainly proof of that last line. And this I found particularly interesting, as a child of divorce:

“In the past 30 years, we’ve had more divorce than any culture has ever had,” he said. “A lot of young adults now are coming out of the family upheaval of the ’70s, and they are cohabiting out of fear. They don’t want to mess up the nice clean carpet of marriage - they saw their parents do that…

Other experts, however, are heartened by what they view as the increased determination of many couples to make marriage work…’People don’t see marriage problems as some sort of stigma any more,’ said [one expert]. ‘They’re really interested in learning how to stay married; a lot of them are realizing they need more skill.’”

I’m the daughter of the Original Cynic, my father. I grew up inundated with disparaging comments about marriage, which sucked in its own right (any parental negativity does, really). But it was especially hard because it made me hesitant to share my engagement with my dad. So it’s tempting for me to think, “Take that, Dad!” about the divorce drop…but if it’s only because more couples are just living together out of wedlock, does it really count?

What do you think? Is the drop due to better educated couples staying together? Due to modern couples’ willingness to work harder at the marriage? Or are these statistics not really cause for celebration, since it means more couples are just co-habitating?

8 Responses to “Divorce Rate Lowest Since 1970”

1.
HC says:

I think the freedom to co-habitate leads to a stronger marriage. I lived with my DH for 7 years before we got married last month. We had the freedom of living together, stigma free, from graduating college until we felt established and ready to take the step into marriage. I can’t imagine moving in together for the first time after the wedding. There is so much you still don’t know about that person, that you only learn by living with them. Knowledge of what you are committing to makes a stronger commitment.

2.
Gretchen says:

Interesting post! I think it’s both encouraging and disheatening news at the same time. I believe the end result (staying married/getting divorced) is largely affected by the view of marriage each of us take away from the examples in our lives, regardless of whether those examples were positive or negative. I’ve always thought it was interesting to look at siblings of the same parents grow up with entirely different ideas about marriage.

I also think it’s definitely important to note the decline in marriage. If either part of a couple doesn’t believe in marriage or believe themselves to be capable of marriage, then it’s doomed from the start. I think it’s progress that people who feel that way don’t feel pressure to marry anyway. I also think the decline in marriage rates coupled with the declining divorce rate shows an improvement in the quality of marriages. The couples that do make it are waiting to marry until they find someone whose goals and values align with theirs and in partcular someone who shares the same definition of the commitment that marriage is.

3.
jmnz says:

I think that it just means that people are living together. I used to work in family law and I can assure you that there were at least 10 calls coming in everyday from people wanting divorces. Trying to plan your wedding while wasn’t easy in that environment which is why I left.

4.
C says:

I far prefer an increase in cohabitation to the “starter marriage” phenomenon from a few years ago. No one I know wants to mess up the “nice clean carpet of marriage” either- that’s why we are making very certain it’s what we want before we go there. Marriage is a serious legal relationship… it’s not something to rush into, and it doesn’t bother me at all that people are waiting to be sure they are ready. Perhaps, however, another type of study would produce more instructive statistics (such as, percent of couples married in ____ year still married after 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, and so on).

5.
appleb says:

I agree with the comment that the fact that less people are getting married makes marriages stronger. Since nowadays there is less stigma about living together or being single longer those who are getting married, imo, go into it for the long haul. I also disagree with the notion that those with more education are more willing to work hard to make the marriage work. In my experience, those with more educaton probably took more time to develop their own interests and goals. They go into a marriage knowing that it is a commitment they are making for life - with a better understanding of who they are as an individual, who their partner is, and the kind of life they want to build together. Those with less education are probably more likely to marry younger. Again, these are generalisations, but I wonder why these points aren’t mentioned.

6.
k says:

I agree 100% with appleb.

Co-habitation shouldn’t be seen as a bad thing (tho in many cultures it still is). Growing up I’ve known way more unhealthy marriages than healthy ones and just in my opinion i think its because people got married younger and didn’t know exactly what they were getting themselves into.

Taking the time to understand yourself, what you want in life, what you want in a partner, and the commitment you make to make your relationship work is a sign of maturity and development.

7.
Fresh Floral Art says:

Love this post. I think that as a generation that was constantly told that over 50% of marriages are ending in divorce and seeing the effect on our friends with divorced parents, or ourselves (my parents were divorced) has made us realize that marriage takes work. It’s not a fairy tale and no matter how passionate we are for our mate there will be up’s and down’s. I also think that many people go to some sort of pre-marriage counseling that helps point out weaknesses that may creep up later in marriage. Love reading everyone’s posts!

8.
Iris says:

The book “The Starter Marriage” by Pamela Paul is an interesting read.


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