Weddingbee Blog

I went to a wedding where they read an excerpt from Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms. It was nice, but in trying to find the wording to post here, I did find in listed on a site with wedding readings from literature:

An excerpt from “A Farewell to Arms” by Ernest Hemingway
At night, there was the feeling that we had come home, feeling no longer alone, waking in the night to find the other one there, and not gone away; all other things were unreal. We slept when we were tired and if we woke the other one woke too so one was not alone. Often a man wishes to be alone and a woman wishes to be alone too and if they love each other they are jealous of that in each other, but I can truly say we never felt that. We could feel alone when we were together, alone against the others. We were never lonely and never afraid when we were together.

check out Litany by Billy Collins. It’s a quirky expression of love, perfect for an English major who likes playing with metaphors.

I always thought I’d want to write my own vows - the English minor/creative writer in me still does - but I didn’t want FH to feel awkward, since I’m all about eloquence and he’s more straight-up. We’d be saying the same thing when it all boils down, but when it comes to diction and delivery, I win hands down (obviously modesty too!)

What we decided to do is not really write our vows together, but work on a reading together. We are using the “hands ceremony” that was posted here awhile back, but we are going to tweak it to fit us, plus add on to it (also talking about eyes and maybe even ears/hearts/etc) Then when our officiant reads it (or if we decide to have a friend do it) we will have him say that we wrote it together, so no one gets more credit than the other. I think it will really convey the “sharing” and “teamwork” aspects of marriage.

I’ve been collecting gorgeous poems for the wedding. Here is one (okay, okay, I can’t help it: two!) I like:

Tree Marriage
by William Meredith

In Chota Nagpur and Bengal
the betrothed are tied with threads to
mango trees, they marry the trees
as well as one another, and
the two trees marry each other.
Could we do that some time with oaks
or beeches? This gossamer we
hold each other with, this web
of love and habit is not enough.
In mistrust of heavier ties,
I would like tree-siblings for us,
standing together somewhere, two
trees married with us, lightly, their
fingers barely touching in sleep,
our threads invisible but holding.

************
Marriage
by Lawrence Raab

Years later they find themselves talking
about chances, moments when their lives
might have swerved off
for the smallest reason.
What if
I hadn’t phoned, he says, that morning?
What if you’d been out,
as you were when I tried three times
the night before?
Then she tells him a secret.
She’d been there all evening, and she knew
he was the one calling, which was why
she hadn’t answered.
Because she felt-
because she was certain-her life would change
if she picked up the phone, said hello,
said, I was just thinking
of you.
I was afraid,
she tells him. And in the morning
I also knew it was you, but I just
answered the phone
the way anyone
answers a phone when it starts to ring,
not thinking you have a choice.