Wedding Blog
Mr. Tomato and I will not be having a wedding cake. We’re not having cupcakes either. We’re not having any sort of substitute–simply, we’re just not having a wedding cake.
Shocking, I know. Everyone I mentioned this to has had the same reaction: “What?! How can you NOT having a wedding cake?!”
In my mind, the wedding cake has always been little more than background eye candy. Call me a food snob, but honestly, in all the weddings I have attended so far I’ve only liked how a few of the cakes tasted. None of them were memorable. And it’s not because the bakers aren’t talented. Since wedding cakes are so labor-intensive and have to be made a few days beforehand, most times it just doesn’t taste very fresh. And Mr. Tomato doesn’t really like cake, period. So why spend a few hundred dollars on something neither of us will enjoy, and most of the guests will probably forget? I suppose we might miss out on the cake-cutting photograph, but that doesn’t bother us.
In addition, the four-course meal at Auberge (our venue) includes dessert already (we selected the white chocolate napoleon with passionfruit mousse and tropical fruit salad, yum!). Their policy is that if we had cake, they would plate it for us with ice cream and creme anglaise in lieu of serving their dessert. We certainly didn’t want to spend more money and miss out on the dessert we REALLY wanted to have!
We made this decision back in October. So you can imagine my surprise when one day, Mr. Tomato mentions that there has been a cake that caught his eye:
Yes, a Super Mario Brother’s cake. Very fitting for a geeky engineer like Mr. Tomato himself.
We ended up doing some cake tastings and asked for prices on how much it would cost to make this cake, and the price estimate we got was anywhere from $600-$700. I think it’s very appropriately priced considering how much detail is involved, but in the end, it’s just cake. So we decided against it.
I do love the wedding cake options that exist out there though. Some are so beautiful, like the one below by Gail Watson of New York (also check out Ron Ben-Israel and Sylvia Weinstock):
and others are just plain creative, like the San Francisco couple who had his/hers TiVo cakes:
(Apparently, TiVo actually donated smiling plush dolls and TiVo felt ears as party favors for this wedding, as well)
Whatever cake you choose, just make sure you don’t end up with something like this:
Apparently something went wrong when a part-English, part-Italian message was emailed to an automated printing machine. You can read the full story here.
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Share this post: Forgoing The Cake Tradition
Really the cake is just a dessert, and you’re having a different dessert option.
Our cakes (wedding + grooms) cost about $200 and were made the day before the wedding by local bakers who work out of their homes. They weren’t super-fancy, but they were super-good!
Yay for your decision to do what made you guys happy!
Finally, someone else who isn’t doing a cake! I’m tired of people giving me funny looks when I tell them, nope, no cake! We get dessert with our package, and we’re also having a candy buffet as our favors, so there was no need for us to get one. Besides, I’m not really a huge cake fan. I’d much rather have a few jellybeans.
Same here…no big fancy cake. Our caterer is making a small round cake for us to cut, then we’re having a crazy dessert table with 4 different types of cakes (like Jewish Apple Cake…drooool) plus mini-pastries. Instead of a big floofy cake covered in (ugh) fondant, why not have lots of little things that taste extra yummy?!
Bravo, Miss Tomato!!!!
We got so many complaints from family members when they heard we are not doing a cake. I decided on cupcakes from the start, so I thought that would appease them. But no, they were ultimately crushed that there would be no cake-cutting picture. I just couldn’t rationalize $500-900 for the sake of a picture. At least I know my cupcakes will actually taste as good as they cost!
I LOVE that last cake! Maybe for my fiance’s next birthday, I’ll have some C++ code on the cake instead of the traditional “happy birthday.” Or a random excerpt from a Michael Crichton book printed? Hmm..
We’re not doing a cake either! I’m diabetic and he’s not big on desserts. Our caterer does a fresh fruit with creme fraiche dessert that can be sugar free which is what we’re going with so that I can eat it ( and my dad & brother who are both diabetic too!). Hooray fellow no-cake people! 
We didn’t do a wedding cake. We had a cake buffet with a variety of smaller cakes from a local, amazing bakery. They weren’t anything wedding-esque though and we didn’t do a cake cutting. No one has ever commented on how we didn’t have a wedding cake - I’m not sure they noticed!
What’s neat about this post is it made me think about what I’m doing for my wedding, rather than just doing what Emily Post might have said fifty years ago. So although I am having a big ol’ tiered white cake, when I read this I stopped to consider why I’m having a big ol’ tiered white cake. Yes, partly from tradition, but also because I really like cake. Perhaps too much, but still.
I decided on a wedding brownie. I don’t know a single person who doesn’t like brownies and I am not really a cake fan either. So my mom and I are using round cake pans to make several different sized brownies with a raspberry sauce in between layers. Then we will decorate it with powdered sugar! We get the traditional cake-cutting picture, and the yummy dessert!
yay! no cakes unite! we’re doing ice cream cakes from ben & jerry’s because 1) every wedding we’ve been to, practically noone eats the cake 2) we don’t like cake, and 3) we looooove ice cream!
I wish I could forgo the standard wedding cake, but my fiance and my parents wouldn’t let that fly. I’ve only had one wedding cake that I liked (at a wedding this past weekend, and I think it was fabulous because it was gluten and preservative free, so it was fresh and delicious)…. I’d rather have a sundae bar or some kind of non-traditional cake, like carrot cake. But alas, chocolate chip pound cake it will be (fiance’s request)… but it is included with our venue, along with a dessert buffet and chocolate fountain (and hopefully a bucket of insulin shots).
Honestly though, I don’t think your guests will miss it at all (especially because anything with passionfruit mousse sounds divine!) and I am sure you can come up with some sort of picture to take in lieu of the standard cake cutting.
Good for you. I wish I could forego the cake because we’re getting so little for so much money. But dangit, I love cake, and I want ours to look professional. We’re too far from the wedding location for bakery test-runs, so it’s worth it to us to just pay an outrageous sum to our planner, be assured that we’re getting something beautiful, and not worry about it. What can you really do?
Great decision! We were originally going to forego the cake, since we’re having a dessert buffet. But so many of our relatives were aghast at the idea, that we eventually caved. From there, it was an evolution: “Oh, OK but it will just be small and plain. Whatever.” >> “Well, if we *must* have a cake we might as well make it a good one.” (After discovering our bakery) “Wow! This is delicious! I’m *so* glad we decided to do a cake!”
Really, though, I’m definitely with you on the plain, boring, dry cakes. At our tasting we tried about 20 different flavors and ultimately settled on alternating tiers of chocolate chip, and pink champagne. I think our cake will blow all those boring ol’ dry cakes right out of the water 
We are not into cake that is beautiful, only delicious! I finally understand why cake and flowers were my 2 absolute bottom priorities — all that work and money and neurotic attention to detail, and it’s all literally in the toilet and the compost pile the next day.
So we had a friend’s sister make our cake. It was a big ol’ cake that looked totally hand-made, frosting strokes and all, and it was incredibly cheap and — the only thing that mattered to us — 100% DELICIOUS. There was not a crumb leftover! Had we not had our top tier set aside and hidden in the kitchen, it would have been gone. People were asking for thirds it was so good. To me, that is total success!
We are having a traditional cake. It will be yellow cake (dense and moist) with bavarian filling, covered in white buttercream, with purple ribbon bottom borders and scattered pearls along the sides and top. When we had our tasting with this bakery, we were scraping every last bit of icing and filling off the plate. Especially the fudge. I should have asked for a to go plate of that!
I love any kind of dessert, and always look forward to cake at weddings. There’s just something so “wedding” about a big, white cake and a happy couple cutting it together. But I think what I’m even more excited about is our groom’s cake. FH knows the basic design - a football field like our alma mater’s with our names in the endzones - but he doesn’t know that they’re also putting hand dipped chocolate covered Oreos (our favorite cookie) instead of strawberries, and doing them in the classic tux/dress designs. Originally, I wanted to make the whole thing a surprise, but FH thought that was dumb….
nice decision. if neither one of you are cake fans, then it’s more of a waste to get one than not. besides, it sounds like your dessert is very well taken cared of otherwise. it sounds very yummy.
i agree with you too, so far none of the wedding cakes i’ve had had been too impressive. i think they spend so much time making them look pretty that making them taste delish is often an afterthought. hopefully i’ll be able to find a baker who puts taste first. it may be easier since i’m going with cupcakes [i love cupcakes]…minimal decoration needed!
I think its fine not doing cake. I think many wedding traditions come from odd origins and people don’t even ask why they do them in the first place. Many people have no idea why they have a wedding cake at their weddings and thus have no reason to bother others for not having them.
Wedding cakes began when a baker wanted to put the breads into a nice display that were at the wedding for the purpose of pelting the bride with. Basically bashing a baguette over a bride’s head was a way of blessing her with fertility.
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Mrs. Tomato, Napa Valley
Age and Occupation: 25, Technology Project Manager
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Engineer
Engagement Date: October 22, 2006
Wedding Date: July 1, 2007
Blogging Since: May 1, 2006
Venue: Auberge du Soleil
About Me: I love all things beautiful. From handmade stationery, feminine fashion and delicate flowers to the little moments in your life treasured with your loved one. I am also notorious among my friends to be a deal hunter! My best deal was perhaps my Monique Lhuillier dress for $1100 (orig. $5000). I also tend to use a lot of exclamation marks! =)
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